Some Days I Don't Believe.....

Some days I don’t believe, today is one. Tomorrow who knows

I wonder if its obvious even without words

how often in the past few years I don’t know why I am here,

why I breathe, or what purpose is left?

I seem to just exist. I have no home to call my own

and even when I did just months ago,

I did not feel it was my home.

Where is home, where should it be?

Far away from here where I am alone,

more so than of late?

Is it obvious to those who know and even those who don’t

that for a few years I often post encouragements more for me

of how I wish or know I should be or feel?

I am so tired, tired of waking everyday pretending to believe

my hopes and dreams could really be.

I so want to believe that I will and love will also be.

To be at home and not so terribly lonely.

I often don’t believe and don’t know why I am here or why I still breathe.

The lonely in me some days cuts sharp,

they are not seen, they do not bleed yet they are there stinging,

throbbing, wanting to heal, wanting to believe.

I love so deep, I care so real.

I want so much to believe dreams and wishes can truly be real.

PegiAnne 7/28/10