Its Time, My Love

It’s Time
I had the same question tonight I have every time I am with her. Does she love me? In my heart I know she does, but she is so guarded I cannot help but wonder.
Chase Meyers waited for me in the center of the living room. When I stepped over the threshold between the kitchen and the living room, I realized something. “It’s time,” I thought to myself. Courage, passion, and joint trembling nervousness hit me all at once. The power of her, her beauty, her strength, of everything that makes her who she is caused me much pause; she was a paralyzing beauty, and the scariest thing about her, she was mine. Well, she would be mine if she allowed herself to give in to her feelings.
Chase wore a long black gown with thin straps crossing her collarbone. Dozens of diamonds clung to her neck and danced in the light as she moved. The gown fit closely down all her sensuous slopes; her bosom, her hips, her thighs. I spoke her name softly, announcing my presence to her. She turned to me and bit her lower lip. I walked to her, holding her eyes with mine until I am close enough to touch her.
I touched the curve of her shoulder; her soft skin was smooth as glass. She trembled beneath my fingertips with a small exhale. She turned her eyes away from me. I reached through her ebony locks and gently lifted her face back up to me. I brushed her cheek lightly with my thumb. She expanded her lips into a slow, almost sad smile that exposed her fear and her desire to move forward.
“Keith,” she said, with a slow exhale, “It’s time.”
“My thoughts exactly, my love,” I said. Then I pulled her up to me and watched as her eyes closed. Her hands closed around my arms as she braced for first impact. I close mine in response and move our collision forward. I kissed her lips, just a quick touch then another and another until she murmured for me to stop teasing her. I obeyed, after all it was time.
I leveled out lips together and dove into her. Our lips connected us and changed the world around us. We shared the same oxygen and it made us the same temperature: hot. Our heat grew until I had to stop. I opened my eyes and immediately wanted to be kissing her again. Her skin, though a dark tan, was flushed with blood, she seemed out of breath as if she jogged a marathon, and her eyes moved around like stars. I’m unable to resist her long enough to take her beauty in.
Our lips were glued together again without the teasing preface. We claimed each other, our passion unleashed. My hands found their way to the small of her back. I pressed into the fabric of her gown and felt the line going up the arch of her back. She trembled beneath me again. I can sense a part of her—a small part of her—resisted what she wanted, or maybe she resisted the she feels for me.
My Love
I risked everything by coming here. I know how I feel about him, worse yet, he knows how I feel. As long as I feel this way I’m vulnerable, I’m powerless. Every time I think of Keith—which is all the damn time, I have the same question: Am I brave enough to lose control?
“Chase,” Keith said my name and reflexively I turned to him. He was tall with wide shoulders and chocolate skin. He wore a gray silk shirt with black pleated pants. His brown eyes were all over me as if they were feeling me up, touching me everywhere. My breath stopped with my heart as I tried to control myself. I wanted to… to…. run. I wanted to run away and I wanted to run to him, lose myself in his arms, his touch.
He came to me and touched me across my shoulder. I simply can’t control how good his hands feel, warm and tingly all over. He reached his hand behind my cheek and aimed his eyes into me. I blinked barely able to control myself. His eyes were like weapons, splitting my defenses open.
“Keith, it’s time,” I said, despite myself. I’m so afraid; we will get hurt but he feels so good.
His face stayed firm and serious but his voice was filled with a smile, “My thoughts exactly, my love.”
My love? His love; I am his love, and he’s mine. I closed my eyes as his lips moved towards me; the next thing I knew his lips touched mine, fleeting little tap, and another right behind it. I squeezed his arms then said, “Stop. Kiss me, kiss me now.”
There was a second that lasted an eternity before he finally obeyed my desire. He kissed me and I kissed him back. Blood rushed everywhere except my brain, turned my body into a mass of heat and electricity. Then suddenly he stopped. I don’t know why. I tried to formulate words but I was dazed. He looked at me as if I was something he had never seen before, a new woman. Then without rhyme or warning he kissed me again.
A decision had to be made, I know I’m not seeing clearly through the fog of his lips, the heat, the electricity, but I’m shaking with the fact I don’t want to see any clearer than I am right now. I risked it all coming here because I want the risk. I want to be vulnerable for him. I want to be powerless in his wide shoulders and big hands. I am not only his love, but he’s mine, all mine.
“Keith,” I said, “I love you.”
A light came over his face, and his lips spread into a smile larger than I had ever seen on him before, “Chase Meyers, I have loved you since the moment we met.”
I looked down, hiding the smile and the blush his words caused on my face. He cupped his hands under my chin and made me look at him. He shook his head, “No more hiding that face from me. No more hiding the way you feel, My love.”
I closed my eyes and his lips hit me again, I was no longer fighting it, I was losing control and as long as he held me I still felt safe. His kiss, his love was worth the risk.