Big

People had always called him big for his age.. When he started school, the teacher had asked if he was in the right class, and his Mom had answered, yes, he was just big for his age. The kids in the class heard this statement so much during those early school years that they started to call him Big.

Now he was in his early thirties, about to get laid off from the best paying job he had ever had, and people still called him Big.  Big didn’t live at home anymore, but his mother still tried to bring over his dinner most nights.  He didn’t want to hurt her feelings and tell her he knew how to cook and really liked to eat out once in awhile. So he would put the food in the refrigerator and if he needed a snack he might eat it, but usually at the end of the week they were still there and he would throw the food out.

His mother still tried to help him buy his clothes. It was an area that was always a challenge for him, mostly because of his size, but also because of his total lack of fashion sense. When he asked the guys at work where they bought their clothes, they told him their wives or girlfriends did the shopping.. they just paid the bills! He would smile, nod knowingly and laugh when appropriate and think that he was doomed to wear dated styles for the rest of his life.

Today had started out no differently from any other day. He put on his brown, wide lapel suit jacket, his chino pants, a yellow shirt and a wide striped tie. Not bad he said as he bent down to look into the hall mirror.
He walked to the subway and rode the 15 minutes and 5 stops to downtown, where he transferred to a bus and rode across town to his work at the L&M Warehouse.  The name of the company was deceiving. They were not really a warehouse anymore. They had started out that way, but sometime in the mid 80s the owners had decided they were doing more shipping than storage and they now had a fleet of trucks and vans they used to ship things all over the city. Big’s job up until today had been to make sure that the fleet of vans used for document movement from building to building in lower Manhattan were on schedule and going efficiently from one stop to the next.  Their motto was: “You label it, We ship it”. And Big had added: “And we do it on Time!” He was proud of his accomplishments, and up until today, he thought the owners were too.

Big had noticed they weren’t shipping as much as they had last year at the same time, but this he put it down to the heat, and politics. Everything seemed to be excused by what the government was doing “to you” lately. His dad, retired from the Post Office for 15 years now, was an expert on telling Big and whoever else would listen, how politicians were ruining our lives. He listened to 10 hours a day of drivel on the television just to drown out his wife’s chatter. So Big really didn’t think much of the slow down when it started to affect his vans. But then when the summer started to wind down and business still hadn’t improved he turned to Charlie, who scheduled the trucks and asked him if the trucks seemed to be losing work. Charlie, who usually had the sports page open on his desk, looked up and said yeh, now that you mention it, does seem a little slow..

That was about a month ago, and one day Big came to work and was told Charlie’s job had been eliminated and Big was now going to do the scheduling for both the trucks and the vans. Big was happy to help, but sad Charlie wasn’t there to tell him the sports news. Big tried to learn the truck routine and customers as quickly as he could; he didn’t want to have to go out and meet the customers, as the security guards always question him when he tried to enter any new buildings where they didn’t know him.. He was so big, he stood shoulders above the average New Yorker and in most doorways he had to move sideways to get through.

His parents still didn’t know why he was so big; they weren’t. And they had had him tested as a kid, and it wasn’t a growth issue, well it was, but not an abnormal growth issue, his mother always said.. he was just Big. But he knew the effect he had on some people and he didn’t want to scare the business away, so he usually just spoke with them on the phone, telling them that Charlie was no longer with L&M Warehouse and that he would be taking all their requests from now on and was there anything they needed help with at the moment?

He tried to avoid telling him his name until he got to know them a little better. Sometimes it was a part of the same conversation; sometimes it was days later when they called back and realized they didn’t know his name. They would laugh at the name Big and ask if he was 5’ 2” with blue eyes or something else equally inane and he would laugh at all the same jokes he had heard all his life, trying to make them feel more at ease with his name and his size.

He thought he was doing okay with the trucks and the vans, even consolidating some of the runs, making it more efficient for the company. At least he thought that until today when the L of L&M had called him into his office.

“Big, how long have you been with us?” Mr L asked. Everyone called him that. His name was of either a long Polish or Italian derivative that no one wanted to try to pronounce so they settled on Mr. L.

Big looked and the chair and wondered if he should try to sit, but worried if he would break it if he did. He stayed standing and answered.

“About 6 years so far, I guess”

“And you have been a good worker; one of our best!” Mr. L stated.” But I know you've noticed the slow down with the shipping. People are just not moving as much paper as they used to, Big. Why just yesterday, one of our biggest competitors, you know the one that stores all the stuff for the financial houses? Well they are laying off 200 employees! Can you imagine? They were making enough in storing records to employ 200 people!

“Well where was I?, Oh yeh, they had this lay off and when I called over there to see what was happening, they told me the banks and all were switching over to this new electronic system, with no paper! Nothin to store! Nothing to move.. They figure instead of needing to have a van and a truck at their place each day, they could do it all in just 1 day a week. One day a week!” Mr L shook his head in disbelief. As if to ask, what was the world coming to when they didn’t have paper to store?”

Big didn’t know what to say, he just stood there afraid to sit in the chair Mr L’s wife had purchased for the office that was way too delicate for Big to sit in. Big shook his head in disbelief. He and Mr. L just stayed there for a moment shaking their heads, neither knowing what to say.

“I’m gonna have to lay you off Big. Not today!” he explained, “but soon if things don’t pick up. Try to take some time, and see if you can find another job and just schedule the trucks and vans in the morning and then do job hunting in the afternoon. I can pay you for the morning, but your afternoons will be on your own. Maybe the Knicks are looking for a Center!” This was another of the standard jokes people thought were so original.. Tell a big guy he should be playing basketball. Doesn’t matter that he can’t shoot or hit even the backboard much less the hoop, or that he was also the slowest guy in the school, each year the kids would laugh and the coaches would try to convince him to go out for the team, any team, they would say. But then after tryouts they would agree, Big sure was large, but not suited for sports.

So Big laughed at Mr L’s joke and asked if that was all, he asked, “ was there anymore bad news he needed to receive for the day? “he thought.

Mr. L got up from behind the desk and walked around to pat Big on the back. He reached up and tapped Big’s shoulder blade, patted it awkwardly and said, no, that was it, and hopefully he would be back to full time before you knew it.. he opened the door and stood back for Big to walk through into the warehouse portion of the building where all the vans and trucks were garaged.

“Take the rest of today off, Big. I know it is a surprise. See you tomorrow!” and he closed the door.

Big walked down the stairs and didn’t notice the ladies who worked in the offices just down the hall from the shipping area.

“Big,” came a soft voice from in back of him. “Big, can you stop for a moment?” she asked.

Big turned and looked at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. To him, she looked like a porcelain doll, perfect and fragile. He was afraid if he ever touched her, she would just break into pieces.

“Hi Lily, did you hear the news?”

“Did Mr L lay you off?” she asked in the sweetest voice he had ever heard.

“No, not today, he said, just cut my hours, Said I can use the rest of my time to look for a new job. Who is going to hire someone like me?” He asked the porcelain doll.
“Why not you?“ she asked. “You are sweet, and hard working, and always on time, why not hire you?”

“But all I know is scheduling trucks and vans. And if the shipping industry is going away, why take on a freak of a guy to scare away the remaining clients?” Big blurted out. He didn’t want to say this to Lily. She was so perfect, Mr. L would never let her go, and if he did the jobs would be lining up for her, he thought.

“Me too” she said softly.

“what?” Big said. “That idiot is laying you off too? How could he be so dumb?”

“Yes,” she laughed, “you make me feel so much better! I was thinking those same words but was too scared to say them!”

Big turned to continue towards his office, down by the vans. Then he stopped and turned around, “Lily, would you like to go and get some lunch? Looks like I don’t have to hurry back to work this afternoon” he said.

Lily smiled. She had been wanting him to ask her out since the day she started working at L&M, and here it was the last day of her job, and he finally had worked up the courage to ask.

“I’d love to! Looks like I am going to have some time on my hands too.” She smiled and somehow knew that things were going to be all right.