Three Parsecs Past Pluto

I lost myself and found me again
"Three Parsecs Past Pluto"
Where a droid with an egg shaped head
Informed me that: ‘Zod was dead’, but
He'd be "returning in Superman Two though"

I took this calmly, I thought
Slammed into reverse, and fought
To flee back to Earth, but nought
For a man in a Tie blocked my way

I looked for help
And tried to call Home
But a hammerhead alien
Had tied up the Phone

“Da lines are en
jammed.”
He said with a scowl
So a disfigured kid
Suggested his owl

A pointy eared elf

Told me to live long
and stop blocking the line
So I thought fast and crossed fists
In salute to his kind

the emotionless man
snarled in rage
and chased poor me
out onto a stage

“The chosen one’s come!
The prophecy’s true!”
I was hoisted on back
Of a monster in blue

They decked me in silver
And shiny chrome pants
I was passed through the crowd
And engulfed in their chants

I was found the next day
Alert and alive
Singing the love songs
of Babylon 5

But now I can say
A quiet week later
I’d prefer real aliens
I think they’d be saner