Apocalypse: First Feeding ch 4

         Sometime during my trek to the dorms, Nero Kelldonis, my incubus demon became distracted and disappeared. I walked up the female dorms main staircase and down the east wing hallway. I wasn’t thinking all too much as I walked. Only about what Professor Burswood and his demon said about the bond being like any other relationship. I thought about Angela, and the first time I met her. We were both orphaned, like most of the students at the school, and we arrived at the Usifrim on the same day. A human couple had found her and with a small group of survivors made the journey to the small town near the school. From there another group of children was taken through the forest to stay here. I arrived through more mysterious means. There were only a few that thought they witnessed a demon carrying me on the outskirts of the village, but others claimed I walked in on my own, alone. As was common with most of the human survivors my mind was unable to cope with the memories and therefore blocked them out. I could not remember where I came from or how I came to the village, but I traveled with a different group toward the school, where I would be spending the rest of my life.

         The instructors held an initiatory meeting introducing us to staff and the campus. We would be going to school here from now on. Angela was sitting behind me in the meeting and began to braid my hair. It startled me at first, but I soon found it very relaxing. My mind wondered through that meeting. I don’t recall on what. Afterwards Angela introduced herself with her pleasant smile for the world to see, and I told her my name. It was odd that I could remember my name and nothing else. Most that block memories block all their memories, including identity, but I did know someone named me Clare during a time when the world made sense, and there was less violence.

         I had reached my room as I thought of these past events. They were happy memories, but I couldn’t see any real “bond” formed in them. Angela and I were friends; it didn’t feel all too special. Then a different kind of relationship appeared to me, a most recent experience. Devin Markesan and I have only been in the same classes for the last two years. When he was brought here he was placed in our group due to some prior experience with the race of demons. He didn’t talk much about it, but he did know a lot of the basics about their kind. I remember thinking he was absolutely gorgeous. Tall, strong, and his soft blue eyes led me to the conclusion that he was out of my league, but that didn’t stop me from looking. I could feel the blush rise to my cheeks. This relationship had solidity to it, a bond. Was this the kind of thing my teacher was telling me about? But then, I thought of Devin’s blue eyes and they morphed from their light wispy blue into the endless depths of my demon’s blue pools of seduction, were these bonds the same. Bonding with a demon, is it like having a boy you like? Was I attracted to my demon through other means than the daunting fact of what he is? Then it hit me. What he is? He is an incubus. I bonded with an incubus, which means, when it comes to feeding him.

         My bookshelf, I had to find the book of known demons and their required sustenance. What was it that incubi need in order to survive? I found the book quickly, there weren’t very many books on my bookshelf, we didn’t use too many for our education. Finding incubi shouldn’t be too difficult find either, the book was alphabetical. Flipping through the pages I soon found the page I was looking for. The article read.

         Incubi: Demons of the seventh deadly sin- Lust, gain nourishment from human actions pertaining to this sin. Incubi, male, and their female counterpart Succubi are difficult to sustain in a bonding due to their particular desires for sexual interaction with their human.

         Sexual interaction that is what he would feed from. My skin crawled with awkward curiosity. Would I have to go all the way with him? I flushed; my skin grew clammy and chilled. No! I wouldn’t, I couldn’t do that. Never! There had to be another way, but if that is how he feeds, I am required to give him what he requests. That is the point of the bonding to provide for a demon in order to keep them from hunting humans and to use their powers to battle against their own kind. I have no right to refuse him. I initiated the bond, I offered myself to him from the very beginning. Refusing him what is rightfully his by bond. There was no way out. I had to offer him everything in order to keep the bond strong.

         I sat on my bed and looked around my room. How was I to go about feeding him? The sun shown in through the window and the heat had already penetrated the rock walls. Not the most romantic time of the day and the air was sticky. I suppose it wouldn’t have to be romantic. I mean for humans to eat food it doesn’t always have to taste good. Or maybe that is not quite the way to see it. It will be just as good if it is romantic as if it was just sex, right? The more I thought about it the more awkward it became. I lay on the bed and put my arms over my face. “I don’t know what to do.”

“About what?” I knew that voice, slick and beguiling. Kelldonis leaned against the wall next to the window, his skin shown golden in the sunlight his hair stood black in contrast. He watched me with a keen interest. I grew stiff; knowing what was to come gave me a cold sweat. He walked to the bed, his eyes glistening playfully. I turned from him covering my face again with my arms. I could still sense his approach and hear his footsteps on the floor. It was time, time for the first feeding. Shivers quaked through my form; he sat on the bed next to me. I tried to picture myself somewhere else, I had to escape, at least with my mind. I thought of the forest and the walks we took as a class, I thought of Angela and me sitting under the oak tree laughing and joking about some small thing. The back of his hand brushed my arm then sending me into convulsions on the inside. My skin rose in bumps again and I felt fear. Think of something else, anything else. Think of winter and the snow so cold, he was cold, his hand moved slowly along my fore arm then down the inside of my upper arm. I couldn’t breathe as he uncovered my face. I shut my eyes fast and clenched them with all my might. I knew he was chuckling about my scrunched up face, but there was no way I was going to look at him. His perfect face and body secreting perfect attraction from every inch, I couldn’t look at his beautiful sharp toothed smile, or his styled hair. But most of all, I couldn’t look in the pools of darkness, his brooding eyes that seemed to penetrate the thin layer of skin shielding my own. I could feel that every searching hand caress my jawline. His thumb traced my cheek bone and circled my lips. It was too much. I grew dizzy and weak, my heart thudded in my chest and I trembled, fearful of what was going to happen and somewhat upset with myself for ever agreeing to do this.

         Suddenly his presence was gone; he was no longer looming over me on the bed. I opened one eye and cautiously scanned the room. He was by the window again, looking out over the gardens. I opened both eyes now and sat up on the bed. Was something the matter? I thought quickly about the previous situation. Nothing stood out as terribly wrong in my eyes. “Kell”

“Don’t call me that.” I was a little taken aback; I thought he agreed that would be my way to say his name.

“What is wrong? Are you okay?”

“You make me sick.”

“What?”

“I can’t stand this. I never should have gone to that room.”

“Nero Kelldonis, I don’t know…”

“That is exactly it, you don’t know anything!” he was yelling now with a great roar of pure malice. “You humans think you know how to take care of us, like we are domesticated animals. Little living toys for your amusement and delight. It is disgusting.”

“Then tell me how I can take care of you.”

“I don’t need you to take care of me. I don’t need anyone, demon or filthy human alike”

“Just tell me what to do? I am trying to give you what you need, but it is hard. I wasn’t ready to have sex yet, but...”

The room grew scorching, more so than the summer sun could produce, I could smell sulfur again and an abysmal growl echoed in my mind. “What was that?” He was so angry now; I could feel his powerful emotions searing me inside. It was unbearable. “I would never, ever, do such a thing with a human scum. The very thought repulses me through and through. Wherever did you get such an unspeakable idea?”

“Please, Nero Kelldonis. I am only trying…” I was shaking violently. His irrepressible rage flooded the room as well as my whole being. I felt as he felt now and I had such a desire to obliterate myself and the whole of humanity.

“Did you learn this in your precious school? That we, that I would need this?” He was still yelling seething with fury.

“No. Well yes, sort of. This book, I read it here.” I extended the book to him it was still on the page of incubi. Surely he would read it and understand.

         The book caught flame, an evil blue flame and I threw it to the ground. This was unearthly fire. There was no smoke, and it didn’t blacken anything else, only the diminishing book. When it was a fine black powder the atmosphere mellowed a little. “That book should never be read.” He took a deep cleansing breath and his mood ebbed. “Now, to teach you what you should already know.” He came toward me again as I sat on the bed and knelt in front of me placing our eyes at the same level, I was still frightened and recoiled at his approach. “Clare. Look at me.” I had shut my eyes again. I could not look in those deep blue spheres; I would lose myself and never return. “Clare” He touched my face and I opened my eyes in a flutter. “That is better.” The pools caught me up and engulfed my soul caressing me and holding me with gentle affectionate waves. “I am an Incubus, Clare. I am a demon of the deadly sins. Lust is my evil vein that sustains me. But I am not a lowly demon. I do not require physical intimacy from you. I simply need this.” His hand stroked my neck and my body swelled with a strange feeling. As I felt it I could also feel him sweeping my emotion away. “You were producing such passions before, but they were laced with fear and dread, two very bitter emotions for me. I will tell you this much about my rank. I do not partake unless it is the very best. Do you understand? I will not abide you poisoning me with your uncertainty. You joined this unholy alliance; therefore you must fulfill your end, as I will mine.” He stood up then and paced the room.

         I was not sure, my mind was befuddled and my body still trembled. After such a display of anger and malice, he is now endearing. Could I truly trust that he would fulfill his end of the pact? And was it truly only the emotions he needed? An emotional response to his touch was not something terribly hard to provide him. I mean, just looking at his form moving about my room caused me to feel those feelings. There had to be something else, something deeper he was not telling me. But I couldn’t risk being destroyed not at the moment anyway. I would learn to control him, and then we would talk. But for now, there was one pressing matter I did have to address. “Nero Ke..”

“Call me Kell.” He said softly with a tender glance at me through the corner of his eyes. It was amazing the difference in the way he presented himself.

“Kell. Are you, that is to say, full?”

He chuckled a little “No. Not even close.”

“Then, will you show me again what I am to do?” He looked at me full on this time. He seemed worried or ambiguous about something.

“You’re sure you are ready?”

“I will try. This is still new to me. But I will give it my all.”

“I see.” He sat on the bed next to me. I could feel his strong arm next to mine. I lifted my face to look at him. He seemed to stress that I look at him the last time, so I would do my utmost to learn how to do this properly. What are you thinking? He asked through our connection. “I want to do this right this time.” He smiled and answered me with soft feelings, well then, don’t think. Just do.

         His cold hand brushed my hair back over my shoulder and his face lowered to my neck. I tried not to think of demons of the vampire sort, I tried not to think at all, but it was no use. I saw blood in my mind and felt faint. “Wait” I said. He stopped short. A feeling of irritation buzzed between us. “You’re not going to bite me, are you?”  The hearty pleasant laugh was sudden. It felt good against my chilled skin, not to mention the relief of his present uplifted mood.

“Would that excite you?” he said tracing his sharp animal like teeth along my throat.

“No!” I said, but my voice was husky and undeniably sending the wrong signal about the situation. “I think I would be sick.” Again, a laugh, but this time it was low and rumbly. Was he enjoying this as much as I was? I couldn’t be sure.

“I will avoid biting you, then.” He said in his low rough tone. “That is, until you ask me to.” I could feel his smile widen as he nuzzled his nose under my ear. His breathing was loud and intoxicating.

“I will never ask you bite me, ever.” It was said without conviction and worse yet a tinge of regret. His hand caressed my face, his touch was electric. My head bobbed to the side exposing more of my flesh to his exploration.  He smelt of smoke and spice, a delicious mix of animal and man, a smoldering musk that clouded my vision. I was panting, and my heart beat quickly against my ribs. I could feel his lips brush my collar bone. I gasped biting my lower lip. Strong feelings washed over me, feelings of desire and longing. As they came I could also feel him pull them from me. His right hand touched my lower back and eased me down to the bed. His torso moved stealthily over me as he looked me in the eyes. I could almost hear his thoughts, the ones that he would never share with me openly. I could see myself through him. I felt conflicted but drawn in. There was something about my glowing eyes, my dirty blonde hair, and my soft subtle lips that quivered enticingly. My hand, but not my hand, touched my skin, so soft and warm. This person, me, lying underneath me had such influence over my being. But I gladly give it to her. I leaned closer, perhaps, this is my chance to know… to protect this person and to… it was gone. He seemed to have noticed my mental breach of his own thoughts and his body stiffened. His eyes no longer flickered with gentle waves of light they instead shifted nervously, searching for something, a reaction or perhaps rejection. I had to bring him back to me, to show him he could trust me. Don’t think, just do, he had said, and that is what I would do. I lifted my hand and in turn tenderly ran it through his hair behind his ear. His eyes closed relaxed and pleased, his hair was soft for its spiky appearance, and it delighted the tips of my fingers and my palm. I could feel his feelings reacting once more, not as powerful as before, but they were there. I reached my other hand up to his face and stroked his skin in return. Hard and cool to the touch, but smooth and appealing, again I trembled for I knew what I wanted to do. And despite my efforts I couldn’t break away from my own overwhelming desires. I locked my hands behind his neck his muscles twitched slightly, but I didn’t stop. I wanted him; I wanted his arms about me, his lips to touch mine. I craved for our breaths to become one. He caught on to my thoughts quickly and as he drew near I closed my eyes expectantly.

         Opening my eyes I looked around still breathing heavily with my heart pounding. “Kell? Where are you?” I sat up. I felt panic. He was nowhere in sight. What happened? One minute we were, and now? “Kell?”

My, you can become quite forceful. The thought was not my own, though it came from inside me. “Kell.” I exhaled with relief and disappointment. You could give me some warning you know. I thought the words and felt his chuckle.

Do you miss me?

Never.

You do miss me. How sweet. He was right. I was left with such a craving for his touch. Perhaps he was only taking a break? I could feel hope rising in me again.

Are you full then?

Yes. My spirits plummeted. It was over.

So, now what?

I will be taking a nap. I don’t know, nor do I care what you do. Just stay out of trouble.

No reason to be rude.

I am never rude, just honest.

Demons are never honest.

True. So why do you trust me?

I don’t know. He stopped responding to me after this, and I knew why he wanted a nap. I felt exhausted, so I tried to rest. Sleep evaded me trough out the night. Something about having a demon bedding down inside me was unnerving. Not to mention my mind was abuzz with everything that had happened today. Realizing sleeping was out of the question, I tried to think about what was to come.

         After the bonding ceremony, the newly bonded humans and their demons were to spend a day familiarizing themselves. The nurse mentioned that I had been out for three days, that means today is the fourth since the bonding. What have I missed? After the resting day the new pairs are placed in training. Training, so I heard from previous graduates consists of learning the ins and outs of battle and learning what your demon can contribute to the Usifrim cause. Well, I do know one thing, starting tomorrow, Kelldonis and I would be training to bring the world to peace.