Lesson 7 - Writing Assignment

“Betty, you know we’re going to the beach today. Can’t we talk about this another time?”

Betty did not take the hint. She droned on and on about the way Chloe picked on Ethan and that a good mother would know how to make her stop it. Betty acted as though she was the perfect mom, Miss Know It All. Jessica tried to remain calm. She repeated the phrase to herself like a mantra, No arguments with Andy’s mom today. She wanted to get going to the beach.

“I’ve got to hang up. Andy’s laying on the horn. We’ll talk about this later, okay? Bye.”

Jessica rolled her eyes as she hung up the phone. “I should never have answered the freakin’ phone. Thank God, I won’t have to listen to that anymore!” Jess grabbed her Zip-lock bag of babysitting money, stuffed it down into her tote, and glanced around one last time at the worn sofa and stained family-room carpet.

“Jesssss!”

Gritting her teeth at another blast of the horn, she turned and hurried out the door, letting it slam behind her.

Jess slid into her seat and quickly lifted her legs off the hot vinyl. Chloe and Ethan squabbled in the backseat as usual, and Andy looked ready to explode…until she told him his mother called.

“Is anything wrong?”

“No, just her same old tune about me not knowing how to handle the kids. But I was nice. I told her we were going to the beach and would talk about it later.” Jess had sharped at her mother-in-law once before and knew not to do that again. Andy made it crystal clear who had his allegiance.

“Remember, she’s more experienced than you, Jess. Pay attention. You might learn something.”

Right. Jess kept her mouth shut. Why start an argument now?

The kids settled down and Jess played the car color game with them. The drone of the engine made them sleepy, and soon they counted cars in their dreams.

She pulled a paperback out of her tote and opened it up.

“I don’t know how you can read those trashy books.” Andy frowned and turned his attention back to the highway. Jess counted to ten, snapped the pages together, and replaced the book back into her tote.

“It’s a beach read, Andy. It’s not trashy.”

Jess leaned her head against the window and fought back tears.

Laying his hand on her knee, Andy turned toward her. “I’m sorry, Jess. Is something wrong?”

“Of course not," Jess shot back. Then, wondering what Andy might say, she decided to find out.

"Your mom is so smart about raising kids. I’m seriously considering asking her to move in with us for a while. What do you think? Should we?”

Jessica settled into her seat and twisted her knee away from Andy's reach. A lump formed in her throat even as a sly smile played at the corners of her mouth.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Hoping innocent surprise shone from her pale blue eyes, she looked across at Andy.

“Heck, no. Why would you think that?”

“Because you told her not to interfere the last time she was over?” Andy’s mouth hung open in surprise. He watched Jess for signs of a joke. Forgetting what he was doing, the right tire crunched as it slipped off the roadway. Jess grabbed the seat to turn and check the kids as Andy snapped his head back toward the front and eased onto the macadam again.

“Well, I’ve had a change of heart. I’m gonna call your mom right now and ask her.” Jess dug around in her bag and pulled out her cell.

Andy clasped his fingers around her wrist. “Hold on a minute. Don’t you think we should talk this over some more?”

Jess noticed Andy’s knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tighter with his left hand. A little glimmer of hope sprang in her heart.

“Well…you’re always telling me your mom did a perfect job on you.”

“This is a ridiculous conversation. I never said I was perfect, and Mom would never agree to come live with us. And Dad would never let her, either.” Andy's voice increased a few decibels as his face reddened and his jaw muscles clenched.

“We won’t know unless we ask. Look at it another way. Suppose something happened to me, a car accident, or maybe I’ll get a dread disease. I don’t know. Betty’d be right there to take over.” Jess spoke stoically, playing out the scene, hoping for one word, anything, from Andy to prove his love for her.

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you. You hardly drive at all. We only have one car.” Seeing a hint of suspicion in Andy’s quick look at her, Jess backtracked.

“I know that, Andy. I’m saying it would be nice having your mom around for a while even if it was only during the day. She could give me some pointers, on-the-job training they call it, right?” Jess glanced away and bit her lip, now wondering how this conversation would end. She thought she might have started something she did not want to know the answer to.

“What about the McNally kids? You can’t expect her to help you take care of them.”

“I guess I could tell their mom to find someone else. If I don’t know how to discipline my own, I’m probably not doing such a good job with them either.” Jess looked out her window and attempted to swallow the big lump growing in her throat. Twisting her wedding band on her finger, a tear silently slid down her cheek. It was not going to end the way she wanted it to. But that was okay. Jess had her own plan.

Andy loosened his grip of the wheel and settled back in his seat. “I don’t know. Let’s not talk about this anymore today.”

Jess leaned back on the headrest and closed her eyes, trying to block out what was happening.

Unintentionally, her mind went back to the big row between her and Andy a few days before. The memory was still fresh and painful.

Hot, sweaty and exhausted from delivering packages all day, Andy opened the front door to one of Chloe’s screaming tantrums and Jess’s yelling tirades.

“Shut up, Chloe. If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times to leave Ethan’s things alone.” A loud slap followed amid more blood-curdling screams.

Leaving the door wide open, Andy raced up the stairs. “Cut it out, Jess, right now!”
He raged into his daughter’s room, grabbed Jess’s arm in midair, and pushed her backwards. She fell against the corner of a nightstand and banged against the wall as she slid down to the floor. The nightstand created a huge bruise on her hip and she twisted her ankle, only realizing these injuries much later.

“Andy, I’m only trying to make her mind. My dad spanked my bottom when I was her age and I survived. What is it you and your mom want, anyway?”

Shocked at Andy’s action and shaking like a wobbly fan, Jess looked at him with disbelief and waited for an apology…but none came.

With clenched teeth, Andy turned and glowered at Jessica. “Force is the only way you know how to handle anything.”

“You should talk. What do you think you just did?”

Ignoring Jess, Andy picked up Chloe, showered her with hugs and kisses, and carried her downstairs, promising her goodies as her sobs diminished.

Watching them and wondering what she did wrong, Jess painfully stood up, hobbled out and locked herself in the bathroom. All she could think was how Andy did not even ask her what happened, just yanked her away, taking Chloe’s side. She hunched down against the wall beside the tub, pulled her knees up to her chest, and let the tears flow. All her grievances against Andy’s mom clicked through her brain like slides, adding to her newfound animosity towards Andy.

She hugged her arms around herself, feeling unloved and alone, the same way she felt all through the years of her childhood. Spanked by her dad for every minor insurrection, she sought comfort by hiding in her mom’s closet amongst the familiar smell of Chantilly cologne in the fabric of the hanging clothes. Actual physical comfort from her mom came only when her dad was out of the house. He was a jealous man, jealous even of the measly attention dealt to her by her mom. With no brothers or sisters and a mother who never stood up for her, Jessica felt isolated from the outside world. She developed an adeptness at hiding her emotions.

…

“Hey, Sleepyhead. Wake up. We’re here.” Andy’s voice roused her back to reality.

Parking in the big lot south of the boardwalk, the kids woke immediately at the sound of quiet. Andy hoisted the cooler on one of his broad shoulders and Jess stuffed a blanket under his other arm. She loaded the kids up with all the toys they could handle and hefted the carryall onto her toteless shoulder. Herding the kids in front of her, she watched as Andy picked out a spot on the hot white sand several feet back from the water. After getting the blanket smoothed out, Jess attempted to spread sunscreen on hopping, impatient kids, finally gave up, grabbed their hands and sprinted over the hot sand to the edge of the crawling waves. They stomped the foamy water, released pent up energy and cooled off.

She watched as Chloe and Ethan scooped up buckets of wet sand and then led them back closer to the blanket to play.

“Put some sunscreen on my back, would you, Jess?”

Jessica kneeled down and slathered some of the white, greasy ointment onto Andy’s skin. Andy was dark with black hair so he wasn’t too particular since he never burned anyway. Jessica, on the other hand, was blonde and fair, and already turning pink.

Andy tugged on her cover-up. “Lay down and I’ll do you.”

But, instead, Jessica stood and dusted the sand off her bottom. She grabbed her tote bag and turned her head to watch Chloe and Ethan as they built sandcastles and dump truck ramps.

“Did you hear, Jess? Where are you going?”

Andrew rolled over on the blanket and looked up at her as he shielded his eyes from the sun.

“Gotta go find the restroom. Be right back.”

Jessica trudged through the hot sand, sidestepping pieces of broken shells. When she reached the steps to the boardwalk, she pulled out her purple flip flops from her tote and slipped them on. At the top of the steps she turned again to look at her husband and children. Andrew danced through the foam of the last wave and lifted a small bucket of water to bring back to the kids. He looked up and raised his hand when he saw her. Startled, she lifted her hand halfway in response, then turned and continued on.

In the restroom, a couple of kids were arguing over whether to go on the bumper cars or get a hotdog. They finished washing their hands, looked mischievously at Jess and threw their paper towels on the floor as they scurried up the concrete steps to the exit.

“You better come back and pick that up, you little litterbugs.” Jess shouted after them, but they paid no attention. She set her tote on a bench beside the trashcan, and bent over the nasty-looking sink. Jess splashed cold water on her face and neck to cool off, turning the water on and off with a paper towel. Pulling the pink scunci from her ponytail, she finger combed her fine, medium length blonde hair. She dug around in the bottom of her tote and pulled out a pair of pink sandals and a lightweight pink sweater. Later when it was cooler, her cover-up would pass for a dress with her sweater on. She carefully laid it back on top. After she exchanged her flip-flops for the sandals, she pulled out her make up bag, touched up her lashes with mascara and put on some pink lip-gloss.

That’ll have to do. Her reflected blue eyes in the grungy bathroom mirror seemed satisfied and determined. She left the restroom and continued down the boardwalk, not looking toward the beach again.

She found the bus station on the second street to intersect with the boardwalk. Digging in her tote again, she latched on to one of the hundred dollar bills from her baby-sitting stash and crunched it up in her fist. The welcome coolness of air conditioning swept over her as she pulled upon the heavy glass door. Tobacco smoke, body sweat, and stale coffee colored her opinion of her potential fellow travelers, and she hugged her tote to her chest.

Get a grip, Jessica. You’re a grown-up now. You don’t need to be scared of every little thing anymore.

An older woman with graying hair and two children around Chloe and Ethan’s age sat beside the snack machine. She was crocheting something that looked like a hat, and several stuffed bags with handles sat around her feet. She nodded to Jess and smiled. Jess nodded back and released her death grip on her tote.

A young black man with dreadlocks and an IPod sat near the windows reading a schedule. His body swayed to a beat only he could hear. University of Florida was emblazoned in orange across his blue sweatshirt.

Jess stepped up to the ticket window, smoothed out her hundred-dollar bill, and slid it toward the clerk.

“How far will this take me?”

“Which direction?” The little bald-headed man asked, glancing up at her.

“North.”

He typed in some numbers and turned the screen around so Jess could see.

“Far enough?”

Jess leaned forward into the window and squinted to see.

“When does it leave?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“Perfect.”

Lighter by $98.23 but with her prize in her hand, Jess looked around for a seat near the older woman. She glanced at the generic clock on the wall, hoped twenty minutes was not too long, and the bus was on time.

Jess put her hand in her tote and felt around until she found her “trashy” novel. She opened it to her dog-eared page and tried to read but could not concentrate. The two little kids across from her argued over a stuffed bear until the girl, the older of the two, kicked the little boy in the shins. He bellowed and ran to the older woman, probably Grandma, and buried his face in her lap. Grandma scolded the little girl, who threw the bear down on the scuffed floor and ran to sit in a chair next to Jessica.

Not wanting to interfere but wondering what the older woman would do, Jess pretended to read. Grandma picked up the bear and put it into one of the large bags she was carrying. She dried the little boy’s eyes and helped him settle in the seat beside her, all the while ignoring his whining and ignoring the little girl. After a short time, the girl went back to sit beside her brother and Jess heard her mumble, “Sorry.” Grandma never raised her voice or seemed very agitated by the whole affair.

Jess, herself, always got wrapped up in her kids’ squabbles, smacking both their bottoms, and then overcompensating from guilt with candy or treats. She sat and pondered over what had just happened.

“Are these your grandchildren, Ma’am?”

“Oh, yes, a handful sometimes.”

“Their mom must really appreciate the free time you give her.”

“I’m afraid their mom has gone away for awhile. D-R-U-G- S.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“That’s okay. It’s old news now. We’ve been for a visit. David, Mia, say hello to the nice lady.”

“Lo.”

“Hello. And I know what that means, Nana.”

“Well, Mia, we’ll keep it under out hats for the time being. We wouldn’t want to upset the apple cart, would we?”

“No, Nana.”

“I see you’re married. Do you have children?”

“Uh, yes, a boy and girl about your grandchildren’s ages. They’re with my husband.”

“And you’re going on a trip?”

“Yes, a trip. I need some time for myself.”

“I see. Life can get hectic and complicated sometimes. I’m thankful I live close by and can keep my little grandbabies in my girl’s time of need. You must have a very understanding husband.”

Jess hesitated and then thought…What the heck?

“He doesn’t exactly know about it yet.”

“You mean you’re leaving him and your babies without a word?”

“You don’t understand. We have other problems.”

“Honey, nothing can explain a loving mother leaving her children. You need to go talk to that husband of yours and tell him what’s bothering you. Do you think your kids will ever forgive you if you leave?”

Jess looked at the older lady as a sharp retort formed on the tip of her tongue, but something in the woman’s eyes, something kind and rawly honest, wiped away her bitter reply. She dropped her eyes and began to feel ashamed…ashamed and embarrassed. What had she been thinking? She was acting worse than her children were. How could she even think of leaving them?

She felt arms going around her and a warm cheek next to hers. Unaware, the tears ran down her face.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing. You’re right…I know, you’re right.”

“It’s okay, Darlin’. As mothers we all go through hard times, times when we think we can’t take another minute of what life has thrown at us. But those little ones didn’t ask to be here. We brought them here. I knew you were a good girl with a kind heart the minute you walked in the door.”

Jess looked up into smiling eyes. “You did?”

“Of course, I did. All mothers are bonded together, bonded by love. You’ve had a few things to shake that love, but love for our children never dies.”

“I’m so glad I ran into you. Your daughter is a lucky woman to have you for a mom.” Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, Jess kissed the older woman on the cheek.

“I’ve got to get back and make it up to my kids somehow. And Andy. I’ve been such a selfish fool.”

Jess stood and helped the woman up. They hugged each other, and then Jess was hurrying through the door and down the sidewalk.

The black guy continued to sway to the music, completely unaware of the wonderful event that had just taken place.