Where I Love You

Someone handed me a glass of some bubbly liquid, and I drank thirstily, not really caring what it was. it was insane that 13 and 14 year olds should be partying like this, but it was fun. Too much beer, too many cigarettes, I think someone was passing around some pot, too. Then again… what wasn’t being passed around at this party? I sighed and slumped back against the wall. I saw Alex approaching me, and I prepared to tell him off. I guess I’d had a few too many drinks, myself. Never mind. “You know some of us went down to the river, played around?” he slurred. I nodded. “They had an accident.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “What happened?”
“Kailey went off by herself, and she fell in, couldn’t get out…” he trailed off. I laughed loudly,
“Funny, Alex, real funny” I took another slug of my drink. Then I felt my eyelids begin to droop, and I passed out on the ground.

I woke up in a pile of plastic cups, my head pounding. Had that all been real? Had I really gotten drunk at a party? No doubt I was going to be in heaps of trouble when I got home. And then…after that, I had a rehearsal. Crap. That was going to be hell on earth. I became aware of the bustling around me, and opened my eyes. The light streaming through the window made me wince, and I sat up. Everyone who’d been at the party last night was hurrying around, picking things up. I caught Halle’s eye, and she looked at me in the way that someone looks at a test they don’t want to take. “Gizmo’s awake!” she called and the general mood shifted. Danielle came over, and glanced at the others nervously. Then she turned to me and looked me in the eye. It seemed a bit cheesy, but I waited for what she had to say. “Giz…Kailey died.” I looked at her disapprovingly. “That’s not funny. And Alex played the same prank on me last night.” But she kept looking at me, and I began to wonder if she was telling me the truth. “Giz. I’m not joking. I wouldn’t kid about something like that.” My mouth fell open. “Whh…you’re not messing with me??” my eyes opened wider as she shook her head, and tears began to spill from them. Sobs began to rack my body, and Danielle leaned in to hug me. I cried into her shoulder, as reality took its toll.

I pushed open the door to the choir room, and my eyes lighted on the empty chair…Kailey's chair…I bit my lip and went to my seat. Mrs. Bennett wasn’t here yet; Mrs. Conklin sat alone at her piano. For once, everyone was here. Almost…everyone…I heard the door squeak open, and our director took her place behind the music stand. “First today, we’re going to audition for the I’ll make the difference solo. You have five minutes to look the music over.” A look of horror spread over my face, and Rania put voice to my thoughts, “uh, Mrs. Bennett? We can’t just audition, like it’s a normal day. Kailey’s dead, were you aware of that???” a shaky smile came to my face.
“Yes, Rania, I was aware of that, but it’s not going to cancel out concert in one week, is it?” she replied irritably. It was as if I was watching a much rehearsed movie. Rania stood, and took Keilins hand, and they walked out. Then, at first a few, then more and more kids took someone’s hand and left the room, many of them calling their parents for an early ride. Danielle came up to me, and offered me her hand. I tried to smile, and took it, supporting myself on her.

The school was abandoned; my folks couldn’t get here until 4:00. I paced in front of the school, building up the anger inside me. “I just got over you!!!!!” I screamed at the greying sky. At first I wasn’t quite sure who I was yelling at first, but then I realized I was wailing my heart out at Amanda. Amanda… her name, which had always brought on a surge of emotions before, sadness, anger, longing, despair, brought with it nothing but the whistling of the wind “why???? Why is this happening????? What did I do wrong???? What did I do wrong????” I screamed, tears pouring out of my eyes again. “Why?”

The next party was very similar to the first. The drinks were passed around, along with the smokes, and the pills. Before long, I was soaked into incoherence. I could feel myself slipping, somewhere beyond unconsciousness. And I knew it would only take a little more to push me over the edge. Everything else lost meaning, as I found two more pills, and downed them with a sip of something, the title of which I was beyond caring. And then it happened. A tremor ran through my body, and the world disappeared. “Are you, are you, coming to the tree?” a voice that was all too familiar rang through the mist. Yes, I thought. I’m coming. “A bed of grass, a soft green pillow” the voice invited. A meadow. I’m coming. “Here you’re dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true,” the singer came into view, and I recognized her immediately. Spikey brown hair, trim body, white dress. Kailey. All my dreams will come true. I’m coming…
“here is the place where I love you.”