Shadows

The moment he stepped onto the pavement he knew where he was going. He knew what he was meant to do in life. His ambitions, his dreams in life...they were unmistakable. How can he not be convinced that life has it’s unexpected twists and turns but he’s able to somehow make the best, make the most of what life has to offer.

It can’t be that he wakes up and everything he’s every dreamed about doing and being one day just all comes to him and happens, in that moment. No, sometimes that is just not how that works. If there were ever a day he can just call up a friend and somehow be offered the job of a lifetime, or scratch one lottery ticket and have all his worries melt away...well that just doesn’t happen ever so often. The way things work, he thought, was to be steady, determined, and non wasteful - as in not waste time, energy, or effort in to doing something that is not uplifting to society or does not benefit anyone whatsoever.

He thought while slightly grinning to himself as he road the bus to station number 34. He watched all of the people passing by them as the bus glided forward, stopping occasionally to drop off and pick up passengers. I wonder what each of them know, he thought. I wonder if each of those people have dreams, have aspirations to become somebody really important, and doing something really positive for society. He saw a young couple kissing by a bus stop, their lips touching ever so passionately, embracing as though time had stopped and it was just the two of them.

Mack blinked, and watched them whisper to each other probably the most lovely things you can ever tell anyone. His gaze slowly turned away from them and emotionlessly looked on towards the back of the seat in front of him. It would be wise, he thought, not to think of such things.

He focused his gaze on the highlights of the sky, whisking by the traveling thoughts of his mind as he did, the ones he always tried to block.

He was back now at his apartment complex on Premier street. He unpacked his luggage on his bed and decided he cannot entrap himself for another moment indoors. It was turning 8’o'clock in the evening and he decided on a walk through the neighborhood. He used to do a lot of walking over the years, a lot of memories would pass by him. He wondered why he tortured himself with the burdens of his past resurfacing every time he past the same ice cream parlor where his past lover and him would eat, or on 33rd street where he would gaze at the sunset with Miss Parlay - the golden girl of his year ‘99. Everywhere he went, he could not escape such delightful moments at the time, but now are clutterness of his hopeless realities. What simple fix he wished he could have at the moment to make all the hurtful memories disappear, evaporate into thin air.

He hummed quietly to try and block out any and all thoughts, memories, if only for a small moment. I wonder, he thought. No, no, no Mack, I’m not supposed to be thinking! This tug-of-war game with his mind went on for a few minutes until nightfall came, and silence surrounded him, and thankfully as well as his thoughts.

He could only faintly hear a distant bicycler just a few blocks away ride into the night. Finally, some peace and quiet. His breath drew out in a flame of cold smoke, gingerly escaping with the wind.

To be continued ...