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OMG

While selling my talents to a midtown software firm, I became close friends with a young grad student out of Columbia University.  She was in her mid twenties, beautiful and outgoing.  After getting in the habit of having lunch together and hacking through some complex political discussions, I decided to ask her out on a date.  She was polite and warm in her decline; giving a plausible excuse and after being turned down two more times, I left it status quo. 

One day, some time later, my dad dropped by at eleven in the morning, saying he wanted me to take him out to lunch.  I pleaded that I was only a poor programmer; he flatly said he was retired and gave me a deadpan stare, so I bought him lunch. 

At the entrance to the restaurant, we met Abe, the company director and Charlie, my supervisor; we all decided to share a table.  Looking around the restaurant for my so-called girl Silvia, she was nowhere to be seen.  I thought if I introduced her to my father, it might spark some interest in me. 

Charlie and dad hit it off right a way; they were old Navy buddies who had not seen one another for over twenty years.  After an extended lunch, Abe told Charlie to show my dad the town and we went back to the office.  I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but they left arm in arm.

The following week Charlie transferred three programmers into a special projects unit located in Brooklyn, Silvia was one of them.  I wasn’t happy about it, but I chalked it up to an opportunity lost.  The other curious observation was Charlie, taking off early for lunch every day and not coming back until one. 

While out on a coffee run, there was Dad and Charlie sitting in the park together.  Then I saw them together again one evening while running for a bus.  Since mom died, I noticed that dad was not getting out too often.  His social life had disappeared, but to do a complete turn around, like this, was the farthest thing from reality.

Now I don’t go out too often, but because my contract was coming up for renewal; this one Friday I decided to get wasted.  There’s this club down in the village, small, loud and funny, that I’ve frequented every so often.  I loved to sit at the end of the bar and watch the interaction between the gays and straights.  I am straight and have nothing against anyone being either way. 

My eyes must have bulged out of my head when Charlie and dad walked in; I sunk back into the shadows, my eyes followed them as they worked their way through the crowd to an empty table.  They wore flowered shirts, shorts and sandals.  Sitting down together beside the small stage and dance floor, they ordered two beers and two vodka sours. 

Dad leaned over close to Charlie’s ear and whispered something that made them both laugh.  The first thought that went through my head was that dad and Chuck were in the closet together…  I closed my eyes and shook my head.

I ordered another double Black Label and sipped it as I continued to watch them.  The club provided some off the cuff entertainment then a three-piece group played pop music.  I waited to see if they would get up and dance together.

Then, who should come in but another contract programmer, Phyllis.  Followed by Silvia, both in casual wear.  The men stood and greeted them with warm hugs and kisses.  The girls grabbed the vodka sours and they toasted one another, I noticed Silvia put her hand on dad’s thigh, ‘but she’s… he’s…  twenty-five years older!’  I almost dropped my glass.  Dad moved his chair around to be beside Silvia.  He sat and put his arm over the back of her chair, her head in the crook of his elbow and his hand dangling over her chest, a real loving couple.

Finishing the scotch and ordering another, I took a deep cleansing breath and walked over to that small table.

“Hi dad…  Hi guys, how’s it going?”  I felt overdressed, still in my shirt and tie.  “Room for one more?”

The table was just big enough for five or six glasses; Silvia stood up and moved over onto dad’s lap, “Sit in my seat, fancy seeing you here!”  She smiled a cutesy smile at me and put her arm around his neck and over his shoulder. 

“Dad…” I held up my glass to him, “I can’t tell you the fears about your well being that have recently gone through my head.  But seeing you here and now, tonight, I am so happy for you.”

We all drank to my little toast, then Charlie lifted his glass.  “And aren’t you glad that your dad and me ain’t the couple you thought we were!”  The four of them roared with laughter. 

Just then a woman appeared beside me, she wore jeans, flowered blouse and short heels. She was sophisticated in a casual manor, maybe, somewhere in my dads age bracket.  She looked down at my father,  “Are you taking advantage of my daughter again Sam?”  Nudging Silvia’s knee with hers.

Silvia made a cowering expression and slinked off my dad’s lap, the woman playfully whacked her on the butt.  Silvia giggled and hid behind me.

My dad stood up beside the woman, “Son, I’d like to introduce Constance, Silvia’s mom.  Constance this is my son David.”  I sheepishly waved and said “Hi.”

Charlie stood also and look sadly at dad, “Sam, I didn’t know you swung both ways?”  We all broke up over that one…

Silvia grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye, “This is the longest practical joke I’ve ever been involved in…” Her broad, bright smile lit up the room, “Now I’ll take you up on that dinner date.”

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