Tim Tam, the Cutest Fox in the World

Dark was the world and cramped was the spacing from all corners of my lonely prison. While busy living my life of fun-running through tall grassy fields and chasing butterflies, the talons from the eagle that was man had suddenly invaded my paradise only to snatch me up and stuff me inside a small brown box. My only complaint, that there wasn't a fat juicy rabbit I could at least snack on for now; what horrible service. The least these barbarians could've done was poke a hole on the sides to give me something other than brown to look at. Though, being captured didn't bother me for the time being. Cleaning my muzzle with my eyes closed was enough to distract and dismiss my worry; I was easily entertained.

With a tail like a scarf and a face that would put puss in boots to shame, my overwhelming cuteness was able to destroy my enemies, by becoming my friends; I was that lovable. It was the most powerful weapon in my arsenal, so when given the chance I'd be sure to appeal to these two humans' better nature. For none could resist the face, of me, the cutest fox in the world; Tim Tam the great, or just Tim Tam.

It's a curse I'm afraid, or a gift, that this world was given the blessing that I would set paw in it; at least, that's what my parents told me. I was the only cub of two other red foxes, neither with the genuine adorability as I. As for my name, they came to a compromise. My father was hoping for a little girl and had already come up with the name Tam, which when he told me made me flush in embarrassment. Thankfully my mom came to the rescue with the name Tim. They argued for a bit, but thanks to the fury hell hath no, my mother's choice came first, something my father never quite forgave.

I continued to live the simple life, even when I became old enough to leave the den. The wonderful lush forest and its good company took good care of me. Plenty of rabbits and mice to hunt, and birds to race through the fields. Badgers to chat with, as long as I stay cute and not threaten their young. Otters to watch swim lazily by the stream, and fetch me some fish. And our very own forest activities, which would discombobulate the minds of man, and ruin our society forever. Now that I've been fox napped, I wouldn't talk, well, in a matter of speaking. Everything was fine until I came in contact with an awkward situation.

One day while lurking about for one of those plump rabbits, who grazed the fields for hours on end, I spied something I never thought I'd see just lying out to bake in the sun. Bread. Bread out here, who ever heard of such a thing? Well, to be fair, I would always be fed by the occasional free spirit vacationing in my part of the forest, or I'd let my curiosity overrule my better judgment and bounce my way into the camp grounds, or the nearby town.

What was more odd however was that this puffy loaf of bread sat under a box-hoisted by a stick with a piece of string tied around it. I pondered only for a moment, "Bread plus box hoisted by stick with a string attached equals…what?" I wasn't good with the math, but observation was a different story. I always kept an eye out for predators, not wanting to become the meal of a bear or feral canine. The string led to an odd bush made of what seemed like cardboard covered in crudely painted leaves. Hah, it's first mistake. Green leaves, in the autumn season, I think not my good bush. So I kept my distance. Despite the fact it was a green bush in the autumn season, it was still a bush, and last I checked, bushes were safe. Plus there was free bread, and rabbit after rabbit would do terrible damage to my waistline.

So I jumped at it, and in the blink of an eye the stick was yanked free, and the box came toppling down; a sniveling cackle following afterward.

Now inside the box headed to beast knows where, I kept my composure while listening to my two fox-nappers discussing their outstanding achievement.

"Uh-hyuk, where we goin' skeeter, where we goin'?"

"Ta the auction Billy Bob. This here critter aint like any fox I've ever seen a'fore. Thisn's cuter than a spring hog at a barbecue. We'll get a mighty fine price fer 'im."

"Garsh Skeeter, why don't we just keep this 'ere critter? I wreken little miss Sally down the street sure will take a fancy to 'm shuckamud."

"Don't talk stupid idgit, Miss Sally darn well have enough critters."

"Can I least touch 'im Skeeter?"

"No, I don' want'chu cathin' rabbies. Just shut up an settle down. We're almost there."

The mention of an auction snapped me out of my grooming. I couldn't believe that they actually planned on selling me. Yes, I know what an auction is. Back in the forest, sly Ricky Raccoon would always bring in different wares and such to trade for other valuables with the animals. Quite the sly one that Ricky. Able to sell sour milk to a cow, or worthless objects for an unbelievable amount of peanuts, nuts, and berries. It was amazing how he still was able to fit through the hole in his tree; though I'm pretty sure he hired some wood peckers to enlarge it. One could only imagine how these humans bargained with each other.

Once the vehicle came to a stop, the men carried me around a dark building, as I could tell from the holes above my head. They were whispering to each other now more than before. There was a sense of fear in their tone. Shame though, that even a fox like I had more bravery, and I was the one being taken to this dark place. Which now grew a tad brighter as we entered a new room.

"Gentlemen," spoke a refined voice, one of an sophisticated gentlemen speaking perfect English. "How may I help you this fine evening?"

I noticed how much more beautiful the man's voice was once my two captors stared speaking; my ears perking up to catch his rich tone. My delight was short lived as a blinding flash of light burned my eyes as the top of my box was opened. Escape didn't cross my mind, the silhouette of a broad shouldered figure gaining my attention, only for a splint second; then, I returned to the darkness of my box.

"Thank you kindly gentlemen," spoke the man, "Lucy has your compensation at the front desk. A pleasure doing business with you."

The two cackled out the door, elated about how rich they were; was I really worth that much? The space under my paws grew less heavy and rocked back and fourth. More doors closed behind me with the clacking of dress shoes descending stone steps. Minutes seemed like hours, and bobbing in my box, I started to whimper. My former courage leaving me as we continued descending, further away from the surface, and the wonderful sun.

Suddenly, the world was filled with a blinding light as I tumbled out of his box, face first hitting a cold white floor. Being shrouded in darkness for so long made my vision blurry. Adjusting to the light and stretching my limbs, blood circulation returning, I lifted my head to gasp in awe.

The room was large and dark, with only one ray of light beaming down from the heavens. The endless amount of black space proved unnerving, causing me to tremble; that or lay down from the numbness that ensued from being cramped for so long. I remained under the gaze of the safe light, trembling if whatever was out there in the endless void would effortlessly snatch me up. Alone in this cold dark place, I began missing home. At least there, there was friends, and a lush forest with the sun streaming down shadows from the tree foliage. Here there was only silence and black.

"Hello," I called, "Is anyone out there?" The room produced an ominous echo, hinting it was larger than I originally anticipated.

Suddenly, the masterful vocals of the sophisticated man returned, speaking from all angles of the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you again for coming to Sader Gray's Underground Auctions. Mr. Gray thanks you for choosing him to acquire your illegal or otherwise precarious wants. We have a particularly special item today, extremely rare and possibly the only one of its kind. A normal looking red fox from a distance, but with an amazing trait upon closer inspection. Each bidder will have the opportunity to inspect the product closely. As for its quality, a pair of gentlemen brought it in, claiming quote, 'This 'ere be the cutest dosh garn fox you ever did see boy howdy.' And we here at Sader Gray's concur."

As the voice receded back to the darkness, I slightly settled down. "Surely they wouldn't hurt a cute little thing like me, so taking my furs out of the question. Which only leaves adoption." Becoming someone's pet wasn't a torturous thought, especially if they were overcome by my cuteness. Humans were so easy to distract and manipulate. One whimper in front of the food bowl would be all it takes to fetch me something to snack on, then while they bumble about through their cupboards, I'd find the nearest exit and be scot-free. All I had to do now was let the right dummy pick me.

A brilliant flash of light shone from across the room, causing me to avert my gaze. Then, as if on cue, a silhouette of an enormous man was seen entering the doorway. Taking a few steps, a spotlight much like the one shinning over me, followed him. He tremendous in size and girth, with a physic like that of a bloated bear ready for hibernation. The dress pants and shirt he was clad in looked like they struggled to withhold his frame, and his coat unbuttoned, unable to sustain such a titanic abdomen. He curled his mustache with a finger the size of a sausage, intrigued at what sat before him.

Taking his last few steps, I receded slightly to the ground, intimidated by his size. He stopped a safe distance away, as if the ray of light around me served as some sort of barrier. "Yes," he said, "I'll know just what to do with you."

I gulped, nervous by his vague choice of words.

"Like many before you, you'll make a fine meal."

I cocked my head. He couldn't be serious, I thought. Who eats a fox? We're all skin and bone, especially me. Plus, perhaps he was near sighted for his only impression of me was that I was tasty, I'm the cutest thing on the face of this planet. My first thought was that he was too fat to know what he was talking about. My second, that my disposition was more perplexed than adorable. Maybe he wasn't used to being around cute things. Whatever the case, his use for me was by far the most preposterous thing that ever passed my ears. Well, that and Ricky's singing.

"I'm a collector of rare and endangered species, and as of now you, are the rarest of them all. There's no other meat like endangered meat, with cow and pork growing tiresome. However, you must enjoy what meat you have. The best way, by fattening them up. Oh yes, you'll certainly grow three times the size you currently are, and once your plump and roasted, you'd make a very satisfying meal. I have known of nothing cute throughout my life, so your pleasant features do not move a cold heart. I look forward to gobbling you up like a biscuit, muhahahaha!"

Once he finished looking at me, he casually walked to the door; leaving me trembling in the dark to process what had just been said. I didn't know what was more horrid: the fact that he ate endangered animals, or that I was the next beast on the menu. Though the idea of being served slightly intrigued me, being constantly fed to unbelievable proportions was unacceptable. The thrill of running through fields and chasing prey was something I didn't want to give up.

After he left, another gentlemen came into the room. The sight of him snatched my breath away. He was a tall barrel chested beast coated in the furs of many unfortunate victims including raccoon, wolf, bear, and even…fox. As if by some psychotic tendency, he tossed around a sharp knife from hand to hand. His grizzly beard covered up half of the grotesque scar that grazed his face. With eyes like an eagle and tongue like a snake, I backed away, moving further out of my circle, until something sharp poked at me from behind, sending me back in. My yelp, echoing around the room, gave this man some amusement. His laughter burning through my chest like crackling cinders.

"Hehehehe, aint you a beauty," he spoke, his breath smelling of tobacco. "I know just what to do with you. Such a foine fur should neva go to waste. Oi've hunted just about ev'ry animal on the planet and claimed some sort of proize from them. You'll be set loose on moi proivate island, and oi'll hunt ya for sport. So keep that hoide noice an fresh, cuz I'll be comin' for it."

Sick, I thought, gross, how was it that this human is still allowed to walk among society. I expected the sophisticated man to allow better company. Than again, this was an illegal auction. I haven't interacted with humans much, but my disposition toward them was slowly declining into a pool of disgust. What kind of sick being would want to kill me, me, cute little Tim Tam, for something as pointless as my fur? It was clear my cute charms had little effect on these folks. Perhaps it'd work on the next group of humans coming in.

Once again, the doors at the end of the room exposed the bright light of freedom, so I thought. The silhouettes of the group that entered were of two people; a giant, and a dwarf. As they came forward, the spotlight from above produced from out of the shadows a little girl, cute with blonde pig tails, and a tall lanky fellow in a white suit, stiff as a board in his posture. I felt the need to blow at him from my distance, thinking he might tip over, but my focus was toward the girl. So pretty, with a smile that could even rival mine, or not.

As I put into effect my overpowering cuteness, the little girl gasped--face beaming and eyes covetously sparkling. The tail in my mouth, paws together, perked up ears look never failed.

"Daddy," she screamed in a nasally voice that suddenly threw me off, "I want it I want it I want it! Give it to me!"

The tall gentleman remained stiff, unaffected by his daughters incessant tugging. "Mmmm, yeees dear," he said, his voice punctual, but slow like a mooing cow. "Weeel discuss the priiice at the auuuction."

The little girl grotesquely puckered, as if consuming something extremely sour. "No, I want it now! You never give me anything I want! I hate you!"

"Mmmm, you'll have to waaait dear, daddy has to talk to the other meeen first. You'll haaave him after the auuuction."

I couldn't get over his speech pattern, which continuingly caused me to stifle a giggle; as best as a fox can. The little girl still looked irked, but settled for waiting. Then, out of the darkness she produced a picture frame with a photo that caused me to stagger back.

With some sort of wicked intention glinting in the girl's eyes, she grinned as she tightly held the frame. "You're going to be just like Mr. Cuddles."

I gulped in fright. The picture was that of a cat, but not just any cat, a black and brown tabby and the fattest I have ever set my eyes upon. Never did I comprehend an animal of its original size could et so large. I believe I was even small enough to fit in its belly. It took up most of the frame, and laid on its back, paws dangling lifelessly. What sickened me the most, was the conceded smile it wore, as if its size was some grand accomplishment.

I didn't want to go with them, or any of these strangers for that matter. But still, these two seemed the safest to go with, and possibly the easiest to stalk away from when the opportunity arrived.

No sooner did the two leave that the next batch of onlookers receive the glorious right to view the awesome visage that was me, Tim Tam. Through the black door came what looked like a large blob with numerous heads, possibly a group of people; or some horrid monster far more ominous than the hunter…no…I doubt that.

Feeling good from the little girls reaction, I was fueled with determination to make my next cute look hit them like a blast from a gun. Closing my eyes to focus, I heard the spotlight turn on, and the steps get closer. Already in my state of meditation I heard them commenting on my looks; poor saps didn't know what was about to hit them. I tilted my head again, brought my paws together, curled my tail around my body and opened my eyes to their maximum capacity. The light from above which served as my guardian was now my veil as my beady pupils reflected off the forming puddle of water around my iris'. I whimpered, slightly of course, to gather their sympathy. My ears drooped at the sorrow this dark world provided, and my tail comforted me in its embrace. You should've seen my performance, possibly my most grand yet. Certainly grander than the roles I was cast as back in the forest. Oh if my acting troop would see me now. I'd surely be drowned by the audiences innumerable tears…oh, and yes we had an acting troop. There's much art in the forest we've adopted from society.

As soon as it started, it almost came to an abrupt end. Expecting a group of beasts from the very underbelly of society, like a gang or possibly roommates at an insane asylum, I was taken aback when a family stood before me. It was a family of four; mother, father, daughter, and son. The men wearing rural buttoned up-checker patterned shirts, and the woman wearing colorful spring skirts, with floral patterns. The way they smiled in this dark world disturbed me, but I maintained my composure. I was pleased at how their eyebrows sagged and heads held downcast; my looks having the desired effect.

The mother tilted her own head, silky blonde hair snaking down her shoulders. "Aww, isn't he just a cutey dear?"

"Sure is a sad little fox," spoke the clean shaven man. "This is no way to treat you huh little guy?"

"You deserve to be free. Running in tall fields of grass without a care in the world. Smelling flowers, chasing rabbits, and basking in the warm sun."

Exactly, I shouted in my head. The amount of pleasure when thinking of such things was too much for me to handle. So much, I actually broke character, stood up-tail wagging and was just about ready to playfully jump onto one of these darling children's arms.

I flushed as the little girl gave the sweetest giggle. "He's happy mama."

"Can we help him dad," asked the son.

"Please help him dear. He looks so happy now that we mentioned what we did."

The father nodded. "Just hold on little guy," were the last words he said to me. They then turned around and made their way to the exit.

My tail lost its happiness, and the fur on my back stood up. I grew infuriated. How could they fill my mind with hopes and dreams, then just leave. Though, in their defense, they'd get in trouble if they'd liberate me from this place here and now. So I barked after them, shouting for them to spend more time with me. Then, I stopped once the darkness swallowed them, and once again, I was alone. I should've jumped, just jump right into that girls arms and hold on tight. The thought of why these nice people came to an illegal auctioning didn't cross my mind.

As I wallowed in grief, a tear dripping down my muzzle, the sophisticated-masterful voice from earlier returned. "Will all bidders kindly come to the hall at this time for the auction. Refreshments and cake will be served on the right."

Mmm, cake, my stomach growled at the mention of it. Only once did I have it, one night during my younger days. Ricky Raccoon, tricked me into going with him to some marvelous place. Turns out that place was a bakery. Upon looking through the glass I could remember myself producing a waterfall worth of drool. For the life of me I didn't know why; there was just something tantalizing about the sleek coating of white cream dabbed with plump strawberries glazed in an oozing red dip.

Ricky saw it fit to snatch my pleasure once he told me our meal was in the back. Then there it was. Gleaming down the alleyway under a bright light bulb, a cylindrical temple of rotten goods, a scavengers buffet. It disgusted me, that I, cute ol Tim Tam, had joined a raccoon to feast from garbage. But boy was it worth it.

Reciting the raccoon's prayer of forgiveness for vandalizing the, "benevolent void which giveth food to the hungry," as he called it, he tipped it over. Horrified by the smell, I turned to walk away, but not before something familiar caught the corner of my eye. Sitting there like a plucked-roasted chicken, was a perfect slice of that decadent white icing strawberry cake which I so coveted, in perfect condition, shielded by a plastic container.

I snarled at Ricky who tried wrapping his grubby paws around it. A bit of a pacifist, he surrendered it willingly and gorged on the remaining mound of filth. Better so, he didn't have to deal with the fury of opening the container with just his mouth. But as soon as I did remove it and took the first bite…the sweet, sugary sensation was phenomenal.

Looking back now it didn't matter that it was a month expired. It still had that luscious pizzazz every forest critter knew about whenever eating people food; just before you possibly get sick and, fur forbid, reverse the eating process. But its worth it. Good thing I didn't suffer that fate that beautiful night. It was soothing to reminisce. I needed something to be happy about in my current situation.

Hours must've passed as I remained within my circle of light. Escape was futile, lest I be impaled by the invisible daggers of death which surrounded me. Yes, daggers, sharp objects, whatever you want to call then they'd prick you all the same. Discovering them made me grateful I didn't jump in the girls arms.

You remember that thing that pricked my beautiful bottom from earlier? Turns out upon gently tapping the dark space outside my circle with my paw, I was surrounded by blade lick spikes. All 360 degrees of my circle was sharp, menacing, and invisible to the naked eye. No wonder the bidders kept a safe distance.

I dared not to find out how far the spikes went. So I waited. Waited to be eaten, skinned, fattened, or taken back home. I waited. Sniffing the cold-dense air, whimpering and licking my tears. I waited. Crying to go back home, thinking of my mother, father, and cute vixen in the next den. I waited. Waiting for my waiting to come to an end. I…well, you get the point. I wouldn't of mind waiting a bit longer knowing what happened next.

The door at the end of the room reopened with a brilliant flash of light. Two men came in, wearing green suits and hats shading their eyes. One of them had a metal pole with a noose tied to the end. I've seen these people before in the nearby town, dog catchers. Hehe, good thing I was a fox; or so I thought.

"Don't look at it too long, its cuteness might change your mind."

"Relax, my kid has a bunch of cute animals. This'll be a piece…of…"

Whimpering, I looked at him with beady eyes. Though I didn't see them, I looked where I anticipated his eyes were under the shadow of his hat. I could tell he looked in awe at me, nearly dropping the pole in his hand. The frown on my face was proving too much for him to handle, as he began to sniff. Happy by the result, I smiled and got into a playing position; face on the floor, front paws bent, and bottom sticking in the air with my tail flinging to and fro.

"Awww, look at him Joe, we can't possibly do this. He's…he's just so…so-"

"Ah, your such a softy! Gimme that, pole!"

Like lightning, the man snatched the pole from his friend, and quicker than I could react, the rope was tightened around my neck. Not having a chance to breath, I flailed about as they lifted me over where I assumed the spikes were. Such brutality, such cruelty, this was no way to treat the cutest fox in the world. But for better or worse, I was finally going to leave this dark depressing place.

My breath returned as I touched the floor and walked willingly with the two men. The one I captivated with my cuteness breathed heavily, as if snapped out of a bad dream. Having the gift of adorability was a strong weapon. Were I a more cynical fox and had the time, I'd of sent him groveling in a fetal position with a savage amount of cuteness I'd produce.

"Tha-thanks man…I-I didn't know…what came over me."

"Its fine, you weren't prepared for something this-"

"Adorable," his head slowly snaked down to me.

"Don't look at it," snapped the man dragging me, "It could be too much for you to handle."

The bright light on the other side of the door caused me to squint. My vision was blurry as we passed through white halls and up white stairways. Everything was a blank void of white. I never thought I'd miss the dark room.

The journey through halls of concrete snow was a vexing one. Torturous thoughts of who bought me plagued my mind. Was I destined to be eaten by some gluttonous buffoon. Shall I be skinned and draped like a veil around a mad man. Perhaps live a lazy life and grow to be an ungodly size like Mr. Cuddles. Or, fox willing, I'd return home to my mystical forest; where sunshine is in abundance, and good company never absent.

Walking through on last hall, the doors opened to reveal a golden room with crystal chandeliers and exotic carpets with intricate designs. The silence that followed allowed me to take it all in. Flowers which I've never gazed upon perched inside elegant vases sitting atop marble pedestals. Beautiful paintings of prestigious looking men and woman hung off scarlet walls--their diamond and gold jewelry glorifying their already impressive status. I was dumbfounded at how such beauty could come from a horrid race.

I had little time to contemplate however as the silence was broken by a stomping coming from just around the corner of the next room. I sat their, downcast as it was single footsteps; doubting the possibility of it only being one of the people in the two other groups. My buyers sight stole my breath, and I wanted to cry then and there. The tobacco breath filled my lungs as a sinister laugh shivered down my spine. My whole body trembled like a cat out of a river; the fear and desolate look in the eyes of smaller creatures brought him sick pleasure.

I dared not look at his face, or what he was doing as his boot landed right beside my muzzle. The crackling monotone of his last words to me caused me to whimper my loudest that day.

"'Ello foxy."