Without You

I always wondered why people commit suicide when they lose someone close to their soul. Now, as I am left with no options except closing the chapter of my life after losing the one I adored and loved. It feels that without her no identity is left, no that heart taking smile, no warmth of her breath, no hope to meet her back, no life. All I see is myself in this broken mirror. Every little thing lay here in her room tells me how loathed I am without her presence in my life.
I remember the first time I gave her a love letter sitting on the rocks after college and said, “Yesterday, I woke up in the middle of the night, checked my cell phone it was 2 o’clock, then I opened phone gallery, clicked at your pic and watched till I fell asleep again. Dear it isn’t a love letter but a note of confession, I am obsessed of thinking and writing about you”.
How excitedly I waited for her to reply me of my letter. Three days after, I saw her coming near to me in college. I felt like, a thunder is shaking my whole body from inside. She said, “Hey, what’s going on?”
“I am fantastic,” I said, “so did you read that”.
She smiled and said, “Yes, I did”.
“So”.
“And, I liked it “, she said and looked at my face.
It was like my dream came true but today I am watching the worst of my nightmares with open eyes. I wish I can go back to past when I poked knife into her chest in anger after knowing that she slept with a relative of mine. Now I realize that I can live with the fact that she betrayed my trust but can’t live without her.