Suicidal Steam Pilots

“Wahhh!” A young woman named Jamie screamed.

A response to the cry harshly came from a young gentleman named Duke, “Well hold onto something stupid! Not that! This is why I don't do rescues”

Outside the glass confines of Duke's cramped cockpit came the silent blinding flashes of the near miss rocket fire. Projectiles skimmed off the side of the slim craft creating a noise that drowned out the mechanical genius on the inside of the craft. Each spur gear whizzed along with a watchmaker's precision, every bolt rigid despite the significant acceleration caused by the powerful thrusters, and the fine tuned knobs on the dash responded instantly to each adjustment Duke made. No ordinary, or sane man could pilot a manual spaceship, especially the Pressure Cooker.

(Creeeaaaaak!)

The hull strained from a sudden turn.

“We are going to die!”

“Whats this we crap? I'm gonna make it. Cause I am quiet. Hint hint.”

Dr. Blanch made traditional craft impossible. His mind thought up a EMP cannon that could wipe out any electrical system, despite any amount of shielding. He had the whole system under his control. No corporation or army could stand to such power. He controlled all trade, governments, and of course all space travel. However, there were a foolish few to stupidly use the mysteriously designed manual spaceship. A ship capable of travel with no electronics what so ever. These ships instead used a unique solar steam generator. The steam allowed the control of the thrusters and a number of systems aboard the ships. The few who could and would pilot these became known as Suicidal Steam Pilots or SSP.

“I am gonna hit em where it hurts.”

the Pressure Cooker now faced the much larger warship. The warship had thick plates of armor, which made it slow to respond to the quick movements of the Pressure Cooker. Speed was the SSP's weapon, defense, and only hope.

Duke used his high pressure steam to easily adjust the thrusters positions. He looked outside the slightly pocked glass of his cockpit to search for his target. The warship had all it's firepower focused on Duke, but they were not outfitted for such a fast and close ship. Traditional space combat was done at thousands of kilometers, not within one hundred feet. Duke expertly maneuvered his ship to skim the outside of the warship. He had to use every part of his body to maneuver the craft. Every motion controlled an intricate network of mechanical systems to adjust thrust. He slowed down at the sight of the weak point, a window. Inside he could see the commander of the warship. Duke promptly flipped him the bird and used the iron sights on the front of the Pressure Cooker to line up his shot. The bullet hit the window shattering it into dust. Men began flying from the pressurized craft, screaming silent deaths as their blood boiled from inside them. Duke winced as a man hit his window. The still alive solider scraped uselessly at the glass, only to die a moment later.

Jamie nearly vomited at the horrific death. Duke sat emotionless in his seat navigating them towards Kristan X, the SSP headquarters. He Used the most important piece of equipment on the ship to line up his warp. Star charts and navigational computers all used electrical components that the EMP could destroy. The Pressure Cooker had a massive telescope mounted in it. It took up a huge portion of the weight and size of the ship, but its the only way to navigate with out a computer.


Duke's concentration was interrupted by Jamie, “How can you just kill all those people?”

Duke stood in the limited space and quickly got closer to Jamie. “They were prepared to do the same. That makes us even. Listen. You still have the design?”

Jamie cautiously responded ,“Yes. I have the EMP designs.”

A smile cracked across the otherwise deadened face of Duke “We got em now. The second we land your going to come with me so we can get those to the SSP. That’s the only reason your not floating around with the rest of Blanche's minions right now. Got it?”

“Understood.” a frightened Jamie responded.

“We need this before Blanch figures out he needs to modify his warships a little. If he had close range weaponry or, god forbid, attack drones, SSP will crack in a day. Now that we have our hands on that little EMP design of yours, Dr. Blanch is a dead man.”

“Good.” Jamie says under her breath.

The recently cracked smile recedes into a violent grimace. “What? I thought all you defectors worshiped the ol doc. I bet you turned a few of the bolts on the ships that have killed people I know. You asked me earlier how I can just kill people. You might not have blood on you hand but your... ”

A now crying Jamie responded “I know damn it! Do you think we wanted to help him. Just because our leadership bent over backwards to support his weapons program doesn’t mean the people wanted that. I miss the way my home planet, Seolo, used to be, peaceful. The depression just blinded us to Blanche's insanity. No one knew he would overthrow the Interplanetary governments. It's not like his rise to power left us in a better position. The past year he has taken us from a slightly struggling planet to a dystopia. You are either a criminal, or you work for Blanch.”

The confined space smelled of sweat. The stink only served to make the uneasy situation more stressful. The ship was a claustrophobic man's worst nightmare. Every wall had dials, knobs, gears, and valves, all placed as though a mad man had designed the ship.

A slightly calmer Duke responded, “We are landing soon. Brace yourself.”

The Pressure Cooker entered the atmosphere of Kristan X. The ship rattled from the intense pressure and heat of reentry. Kristan X is a lightly developed planet full of archipelagos and only has a few large land masses. The gargantuan ocean harbors billions of lifeforms and has a greenish blue color. The planet also has the lucky fortune of being close to a special star. This star emits highly powerful EMP that renders almost all electronics useless. This made Kristan X little more than a research station for the star. The EMP has no effect on manual ships which makes it an ideal base for the SSP. Blanch can't get his ships within firing range and no one under his command is foolish enough to take control of a manual ship.

(Ka-thump!)

“Welcome to Kristan X.”

“It's... so... interesting. I always imagined the SSP had a larger complex.”

“You think this is all we have. SSP planned for the long run. We have an extensive network of tunnels here, just in case. All righty. We need to go to SSP brass and get this design to them. You will probably want to...”

An angry looking woman approaches. She appears to be in her twenties, of Asian decent. She has black hair and was wearing a black flight suit outlining the human skeleton. Her eyes clearly showed an intent to kill.

Duke suddenly made a wide seemingly fake smile. “Sammie! Your looking healthy. Your probably wondering why...”

She glares at Duke and takes a harsh tone, “You beat the living hell out of my ship. Did your thick head forget that Pressure Cooker is my baby. You dented the hell out of it, all the clockwork is off, probably due to your crap-ass flying. What did you do? Fly into an asteroid field? The glass on the cockpit needs to be replaced, this is all coming out of your pocket Duke.”

Duke changes his look to one of seriousness and joy. “Sammie. We have it. We bloody have it!”

Sammie seems taken aback then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably. “Under no model did you succeed at something. Did Blanch hand deliver it to you, cause that’s the only way you wouldn't fuck up.”

Duke gestured to Jamie. “She has the EMP cannon designs and knows how they work. Caught her during a raid on a cargo ship. She was being moved to Seolo to work on a more efficient cannon design. Apparently Blanch didn't like me taking her. He sent a few warships after me. Nothing I can't handle. So Sammie you want to kiss me now or later?”

immediate displeasure crept on to Sammie's face. “Is this true girl?”

A reserved response came from Jamie. “Yes. Duke rescued me and I happen to have been working for Blanch. I didn't want to though! I just needed the money. My family. My brothers. They were starving” She began to weep.

“Damn it Duke. What did you do to the poor girl? Are you hungry girl? I am gonna take her to get some food. May be I can show her around the place. She looks like she could use some rest.”

“Bull shit! She builds the weapons that kill us Sam! I'm taking her to brass. We need this weapon now.”

Duke grabbed a hold of Jamie and began dragging her towards the main complex.

Sammie quickly intervened. “Listen Duke. They only reason your bitching and moaning about this is because you lost Amanda. She died fighting in a war. It could have been any of us. We all want Blanch dead. Right girl?”

Right as Duke was about to through a tantrum Jamie spoke up. “I am sorry Duke! For whatever part I served in her death.”

Duke seemed to calm down. “My sister.... Amanda was my sister. I... I just want him dead. Do whatever you want. I will see you in the SSP lab later.”



Sammie and Jamie walked the research facilities rather extravagant pier. It had numerous fishers on it reeling in a variety squid. Apparently the oceans on Kristan X had a better environment for squid. The pier had many small shops and restaurants for the local population, many of which were the often strange SSP. Many steam ships ran along the coast. Most resorted to using the same solar steam process used by the manual ships. A brilliant technology for such an energetic sun. Luckily the atmosphere absorbed a great deal of the organic damaging radiation.

“You will love the local shops Jamie. The squid is absolutely scrumptious and I even hate sea food. We will let brass look over the designs and see if they have any questions for you. Whats the matter? The foods on me.”

Jamie looks up from the ground into the energetic eyes of Sammie. “Your so confident. I couldn't resist them. All I did was crumple under the pressure while people like you and Duke fought. I'm worthless.”

Sammie gave her a grilled squid on a stick. “You didn't give up. You did what you could to feed your family. A girl your age should be worrying about boys not the war.”

Jamie swallowed some of the food. A smile manages to break her sadness. “ its good... for squid.”

The ocean's green and blue water crashed onto the shore. The scenery was so peaceful. For a moment Jamie thought about Seolo before the war, and before the depression. She and her siblings would often just lazily waste the days of youth. Sometimes she just watched the beautiful weather of Seolo. The planet often had rain, something Jamie loved. Her father worked for the government on special projects. Despite warnings he would have Jamie help him on projects. She was truly gifted, even when she was younger. She absorbed the knowledge of every project he brought back home. Even the experimental electromagnetic pulse cannon project, headed by Dr. Blanch.

Despite the calming words of Sammie, Jamie seemed down. “Don't worry about Duke. He's....well he's a little different. He's actually been fighting Blanch since the he first struck. Duke's original ship had both him and his sister on it. The electrical systems of their ship controlled everything. Blanch simply watched them die a slow death of starvation. It was only because of Amanda's ingenuity that she was able to launch Duke's escape pod. The only thing is, she launched it manually leaving her behind. He hasn't turned back for an instant since joining SSP. He wasn't always like... well how he is now.”

A somber look swept across Jamie's face. “We both had to deal with that feeling of helplessness I guess. Thanks Sammie. I just hope my brothers made it out of Seolo OK. That's why I was on that cargo ship. I needed to see that Blanch kept his word of taking them off planet.”

Sammie sees Duke approaching them from a distance. Even from the distance she can see a wide smile on his face.

“What up Duke?” Sammie asked.

“The eggheads over at brass figured it out. Gotta give Blanch credit for making the thing so damn simple. He uses the same technology in the tachyon net warp drive to cause the EMP. When a tachyon net collapses it discharges immense amounts of radiation. Taking a large amount of collected tachyons and suddenly colliding them all together causes it. All he did was figure a way to make it directional. Their already retro fitting the ships. We are gonna bring the hurt to him!”

A strange feeling came over Duke and the others. It seemed colder all of the sudden. There appeared to be a cloud in the way of the sun. Duke lost all sense of the joy he had moments ago. He grabbed both the girls arms and began dragging them to a nearby tunnel blast-door.

“Damn! Damn! Damn! I knew this was going to happen.”

A concerned Sammie responds “ What? Whats going on?”

“Drones.”

a true feeling of terror enters Sammie.

“But the radiation would turn them into space junk in a second.”

“You ever wonder what they do with the steam ships they capture. Blanch has enough man power and brains to make clockwork warriors. It was just a matter of time. We stand a better chance in the tunnels. We need to make it to the ship.”

Just as the door began opening the cloud hit the ground. Screams of agony came from a few hundred feet away. The drones began moving closer to the slowly opening door. The terrifying clockwork creature resembled a a dragonfly with razor teeth. They spat steam from their back, suggesting a piece of the SSP technology. Duke not waiting for them to advance further pulled out the shotgun he had slung behind him. He took careful aim at the man sized creatures and unleashed a flurry of bullets at the nearest ones. Their delicate wings tore to pieces and a myriad of gears would spill from them as they hit solid ground. Despite his best efforts more closed the distance and one was within twenty feet, quickly moving closer.

“Get inside!” Duke shouted.

The door was half open at this point. Bomb shelter doors didn't exactly open quickly. Sammie saw the nearest creature set its sights on her.

“Go Duke!”

Without hesitation he listened to her. You don't doubt the words of that women. She stood her ground and at the last possible moment darted to the side. The creature smashed into the wall. Still operating it began to fly towards Sammie. She pulled a rather unnecessarily long knife from her belt. She lunged towards it as it flew at her. The knife stuck into the creature's head splitting it down its carapace like exterior. She twisted the knife with all her might and the creature responded with a satisfyingly loud grinding death.

Duke didn't bother waiting to begin closing the door. Sammie leaped Indiana Jones style towards the closing door. As she slid a few of the dragonfly clockwork beasts cut into her leg leaving a gash. The heavy door slammed loudly smashing a few of the machines in the process. The tunnels were filled with the sounds of the vicious scratching on the door.

“Those things mean business. We need to head to the hanger. Their has to be an operational ship available. Can you walk Sammie? You alright Jamie?”

Both answer, “Yes.”

As they moved through the complex tunnel system the sound of scratching became drowned out by the sound of rushing steam. The entire complex ran off of the unique solar steam process. Since nothing electrical works all the manufacturing equipment ran off steam. All communication on Kristan X was either paper or word of mouth. As they moved towards the central complex they ran in to admiral Greensboro.

The admiral spoke in his deep and commanding voice, “Duke we are fucked! Those things are all over us. EMP is not doing anything to these guys. They run off the same tech as us. What are we gonna do?”

Damn brass. A bunch of spineless pencil pushers in Duke's mind.

“Listen closely Admiral. Your going to tell me where I can find a retro fitted ship and then I am going to stick my boot up the ol docs ass.”

Feverishly he responded to the fearsome tone Duke took. “Pressure Cooker is in pieces. We were repairing her for battle. These things came too fast.

“What!? Your telling me I finally bring you fucks the tech we need to win and your tearing my ship apart. Admiral I 'm gonna kill you.”

“Wait! Bay twelve has a mark two we were working on. This baby has some serious clockwork tech on her. We managed to get contained cold fusion operating manually. No electronics. That cold fusion core means you have unbelievable thrust, and no need for our old steam system. The steam generates right off of the hydrogen fusion process.”

Sammie's limping self joined the conversation “Don't give him they keys to the Steam Cleaner. He's irresponsible. Just look what he did the the Pressure Cooker. I worked way to hard on ...”

Duke interrupted confidently “ Sammie I need that ship. Its the only one fitted with an EMP. We only need one ship to win this. We kill the doc, we end the war.”

Sammie budges visibly. “Fine. But I am coming with. Also your bringing Jamie. She knows this EMP system better than anyone. I am the only one who can operate the cold fusion. Deal?”

A wicked grin cracks through Duke's face. “Deal.”

Jamie attempts to get a word in with a her soft voice. “Did anyone consider whether or not I wanted to go?”

Her words were largely Ignored.

As the admiral parted ways the three began making their way to bay twelve. The tunnel became silent. Suddenly the loud scream of what could be mistaken for a school girl rang through the caverns. The admiral had fallen to the automatons.

The pace of the three rapidly quickened. Duke had picked up a laser lance while in the vast network of tunnels, Jamie picked up a small hand gun, and Sammie found a rather large caliber machine gun. Without a moments notice a wave of the terrible beasts came pouring in through the end of the corridor they had just exited. Duke threw a frag grenade at the hoard and quickly went around the corner. The blast disassembled dozens of them violently. A gear stuck in the wall a few inches from Jamie's head. Sammie moved as quickly as she could with her injured leg. The machines were closing distance.

Duke, in a fit of his genius ideas, decided to pick Sammie up and carried her over his shoulder.

“What are you doing you fool? I'm fine damn it!”

The machines rounded the corner.

“Just shoot damn you!”

Hundred of shots rang out in a small period of time. The bodies of the machines began piling up at that same corner. The eerie sound of gnashing machine components pulsed through the narrow corridor.

“Bay twelve is that way.” Sammie screamed while pointing down a fork in the tunnel.

“What?”

“That way!”

“I think your firing right next to my ear has damaged my hearing.”

She grabs his head and turns it towards the correct direction.

“Oh! I see!”

As they move into the last corridor Duke turns around and brings his massive weapon to bear. The laser lance can turn entire pieces of a ship to a pile of slag in a second. It should have no trouble laying waste to the machines. He lined up his shot.

(Click.....)

(Click Click)

Sammie yells. “I think Its out of ammo. You didn't check it?”

“Heavy piece of shit. I think its out of ammo. Probably could have checked that.” Duke screams.

As Duke throws his useless gun to the ground Jamie takes careful aim with her pistol. She rapidly fired at a pipe above the door to the hanger they just entered. Steam poured from the holes her shots made. The door quickly closed and temporarily kept the machines at bay.

With a moment of time the three took in the sight of the Steam Cleaner. She was much larger than the Pressure Cooker. Meant for a crew of twenty she was almost ten fold longer. It maintained the sleek shape and had a non-reflective black exterior. However, someone did manage to paint an extravagant portrait of a rather scantily clad women ridding a steam cleaner. The only articles of clothing she wore were a cowboy hat and a pair of daisy dukes. Not wanting to die a painful death Duke stopped appreciating the artwork and made a quick entrance into the ship.

He quickly sat at the vaguely familiar controls. Sammie had activated the cold fusion reactor and steam began building. Jamie made sure the EMP equipment functioned properly. With all systems a go they blasted their way through the hanger doors using the much more powerful cannons of the Steam Cleaner. Hundreds of the machines attempted to follow, but were easily out paced by the incredibly fast ship. Some other SSP had made it to their ships and wordlessly followed the impressive ship. The SSP was on the move.



“No its bloody this star.” Duke yelled.

“I will make sure to fold that in with my two more years of navigating with these telescopes. Oh. Also I designed part of the damn ship.” Sammie retorted.

“Fine.”

As Sammie begins the warp navigation process Duke retired to the main deck of the ship. Jamie was their making modifications to the EMP system.

“So you are sure this thing will fire?”

“Uh it has a really good...”

Duke's face began to take a more aggressive look.

Jamie promptly responded, “I mean yes. Yes it will fire.... Whats the plan?”

“We EMP his defenses and shoot the place up. He will most likely think nothing of our force and hold his position.”

Jamie takes a more sincere tone “Duke I am worried that they will have my family.”

“We have the upper hand, and he doesn't know you're even here. What are the chances he holds your family hostage when I'm the one knocking on his door... And he's couldn't hold anything hostage I give a damn about. He thinks he's is indestructible.”

Silence fills the ship for a few moments. Jamie breaks it with her soft voice, “I heard about your sister. I just want you to know I would have done the same. Save you I mean.” Her voice gets more aggressive. “You shouldn't hate everyone on Seolo because of one power hungry man! They are good people. May be when they see a rebellion beginning the people will...”

“May be when I have Blanche's head on a fucking plate they will realize they will die if they don't give in.... I never said I hated Seolo. I just kill those who are prepared to kill me back. Its fair that way.”

Sammie walked in and shouts “We are locked in and ready to warp. I used Morse code light messages to tell the other ship where we are going to hit em. Next stop the Seolo capital.”

Duke grabs a hold of the warp lever. “Punch it!”

Within a few moments the ship lurched towards the tachyon net of the ship. The collected particles warped space-time to shorten the distances between the ship and Seolo to a manageable amount. The warp caused an eerie creak throughout the ship and in an instant the they were orbiting a different planet.

The Steam Cleaner and five dozen other SSP ships began their decent towards the capital. The reentry ran smoothly on the prototype ship. In only a few moments she arrived to the lower atmosphere to the greeting party of several hundred heavily armed warships.

“Jamie! Fire!”

The EMP beam began firing an invisible wave of high energy. The hairs on the crew's shoulders stood straight up and the air smelled of ozone. One by one the scrambled ships began falling to the ground, . Some fired back only to realize the futility and ran. Some attempted to abandon their warships. It was too late for all and the mighty fleet began to crumble, just as Duke and Sammie's had.

Duke smiled with joy for a moment, but suddenly his eyes became weak. “Cease fire! Damn it! That fucking monster! Now I'm just like him. These people are helpless. Cease fire!”

The beam turning off allowed some ships to perform an emergency landing, but some had already hit the ground and began burning. The carnage was far less than it could have been.

Duke cursed at himself and regained his composure. “Head for the palace. Land right on his damn doorstep!”

The ship found no resistance as most of the ships were all but disabled. The Steam Cleaner landed while the other SSP ships hit remaining turret banks. Duke jumped from the ship with a now fully loaded laser lance. He began running towards the center of the complex. Sammie trailed behind due to her injury. Jamie remained on the ship.

A malevolent voice rang out from a massive TV screen outside a thick door. “Duke Hassen. We finally meet. You know it was destiny that brought us...”

“Shut your motherfucking mouth Blanch. You behind this door?”

“Yes. You will find it quite difficult to breach.”

(Whurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!)

The laser lance screamed to life, blasting the door with a beam of ultraviolet energy. The door visibly shook with each passing second. Gargantuan sections of the door flew off and the video feed showed a blinding stream of sparks. It took ten seconds of this torrent to make the door vanish.

“Knock knock ass-bite!”

“Wonderful. Just wonderful. A mind that almost matches my own.”

“Almost matches. As soon as this door cools down I am going to show you how almost that statement is. This thing still has plenty of charge.”

“Oh yes! I cannot wait to meet you eye to eye my friend.”

Despite a still open flame, Duke rushed into the large atrium. Through the fire and the smoke he saw something that literally left him awestruck. His eyes became empty. Without even producing a rational thought he cried “Amanda? You're dead.”

“Here are my conditions. You drop that weapon and you halt your attempts to kill me. In return I only kill you. Deal?”

“Let me hear her. How do I know it's not some clever disguise?”

Blanche's gloved hands uncovered her mouth. The other hand had a pistol trained on her head.

“Duke. Just fucking do it! I don't give a ...”

Duke cracks a wicked smile. “Yup! That's her.”

As Blanch began to cover her mouth Duke aimed his weapon at Blanche's large head. His eyes met Blanche's and for a moment Duke could feel the souls of those who died scream at him for blood. He fired a beam and immediately vaporized Blanche's head. His body engulfed in flames from the intense heat. Amanda began to have a similar fate. The beam stopped and as it hits the floor Duke had already halved the distance to Amanda. His heart slowed time to a crawl and what seemed like an eternity passed before he finally made it to her. The fire stopped burning to reveal a singed haired woman with modest second degree burns. Duke carried her from the flame engulfed palace.

An exhausted Sammie sits at the ship. “Where's his head?”

“Not bothering anyone any more.”

Jamie joyously cries “Their alive! My brothers. I just got a communication from off-world. Who is that Duke? “

“My sister. She's gonna be pissed she didn't get to pull the trigger.”

“But how?”

“I have no idea. It's not like a Hassen to just quit. I'm surprised she didn't kill him before I did. God she's gonna hate me.”

It began to rain on the them. The rain seemed to wash away the blood and helped to clear up the burn marks on Amanda. Jamie just stood with her arms outstretched towards the sky. She had a perfect smile on her face. Amanda gained consciousness.

(cough!)

“Ass.”

“Hey now we are even right?”

“Not even close. Next life or death situation you sacrifice yourself for me. Got it?”

All Duke could do was embrace her. Even the most hardened SSP managed to produce a few tears.

WC 4889