Mr Rocket Nuts 4-6

Part Four: Happy Nuts Pilgrim.

We begin in the lair of DoomWeiner, DoomWeiner is concocting a most vile concoction, one that will forever (pause for effect) dun dun DUUH, rid the world of NUTS!!!
And nut based products.
Meanwhile, Mr Rocket Nuts is happily choking a hobo, when suddenly, his NutsDar goes crazy, literely destroing his ability to control his basic motor skills for several hours.
Once he regained control of his appedages, he found his zen spot and began to decipher the puzzling message his NutsDar had sent him "DoomWeiner is gonna destroy nuts, world over."
After much contemplation, he went to Jared, and bought a gorgous bracelet.
After urinating on the front door of Jared's, Mr Rocket Nuts suddenly realized he was having massive heart failure, so he went to the hospital.
But he accidently typed "DoomWeiner's Lair" in Google Maps instead of "Hospital", because he has diabeaties.
When Mr Rocket Nuts arrived at the Lair, he saw DoomWeiner holding a vile filled with what is clearly Nuts Destroing Serum.
Seeing this prompts Mr Rocket Nuts to say "You make these water speacials, why? To break mes love to nuts and nuts more! You shamed are if not?! Now be die."
With this work of epic poetry Mr Rocket Nuts lunges at DoomWeiner with an Atomic Chin Drop, which sends DoomWeiner flying out the window and around the world eight times before landing back at the exact spot he was when he was struck.
Making the previous sentence a waste of time.
After shaking off the intense pain, DoomWeiner did say "If all your are my fight, foregone be tidings! All gone nuts will dead forever. Little one?"
With this totally making sense statement, the two men began to fight, and fight they did, for upwards of two minutes.
Then, they stopped fighting and decided to be friends.
Mr Rocket Nuts then pulled out his trusty "Sickle Of Nuts" and cut DoomWeiner in half from his anus to his forehead.
Slowly.
Like turtle slow, not cow slow.
Mr Rocket Nuts then returned home and proceeded to smack his wife around.

Part Five: I'll Have What Nuts Having.

Mr Rocket Nuts is sitting in his favorite lawn chair, enjoying some very refreshing scrambled eggs. When suddenly, he sees a russianicorn. ( A half Russian half Unicorn being.)
So, Mr Rocket Nuts sneeks up from behind it, and quickly decapitates it with a garden hose, he did this of course because Russianicorn blood is a slightly lighter shade of red than human blood, so its cool to look at.
A loud nosie suddenly rang out over the country side, literely scaring the actual poop out of Mr Rocket Nuts.
Angered by his now soiled trousers, Mr Rocket Nuts sets out to find the source of the nosie.
After almost a minute of searching, he finds that it came from "TunaHoles House of Corns?", the best eatary this side of the streetside, owned by the infamously charming Keith Pile.
Mr Rocket Nuts enters TunaHoles only to find that Keith Pile is fighting off at least two but not more than five penguins armed with turkey basters.
This sight both astonished and exieted Rocket Nuts, so he began to help Keith Pile fight the penguins, they started by punching, then they started kicking, then they punched the penguins again, then they stopped, because all the pengiuns were dead and sexy.
After wiping the sweat from there brows, Keith Pile turns to Mr Rocket Nuts and says " Welcomes to penguin attack evermore." and to this Mr Rocket Nuts replies " A kettle in a dog is more worth going than a snake's forth! help ones morning dirt?"
So, after shaking hands for almost three hours, Mr Rocket Nuts departed, he then returned with a beltsander, which he used to completly and wholely destroy Keith Pile, starting with his feat and just working his way up from there.
He then went to Subway with a baggie filled with Keith Pile's blood and little bits of his skin and bones, He ordered a Footlong onion sandwhich which he fed to the baggie of Keith Pile.
When he was done, Mr Rocket Nuts pooped on his table.

Part Six: You'd Better Nuts What You're Doing.
"Look at doing!"
"I hit golfs redo a fourth job?"
Mr Rocket Nuts and Nuts Lad were attempting to play water polo on a golf course.
It was not going quite as well as they had planned.
"Whack housing before not!" Screamed Mr Rocket Nuts at Nuts Lad for dropping the football.
"If jest be reagained, then I halt forest creame!" Replied Nuts Lad hautily. But as Mr Rocket Nuts was about to strike Nuts Lad with the bowling pin, a group of Amish clowns attacked for apperent reasons.
"Redemption in going Mr Rocket Nuts! Belch nine demands looming!" Exclaimed Nuts Lad as the Amish clowns formed a circle around are main character and his boy-servent/butler/boy-servent-butler.
"Giving young syrup the house, but hope fort nigh." Said Mr Rocket Nuts as he assumed the Fighting Klondike karate postion, and in the meantime, Nuts Lad wet himself and began vomiting feces.
For several days they stood like this, Amish clowns circled around our main characters, until, the Amish clowns left to churn butter or something else Amishy.
This was a huge relief for our two people, because nethier one of them really knew how to fight Amish clowns, or really anything for that matter, so now with the threat averted, Mr Rocket Nuts said "Times a went go for any stuffings this semester?" Nuts Lad replied "Plausable jerk station." And with that, they left for TacoBell.
When thay got to Wal-Mart, they instantly threw up on the greeter and defecated on the produce, then, began shopping.
After many hours of perusing the isles of products, snaging coupons from the little wierd coupon dispencing macines, and offering legal assistance to the stockboys, they left satisfied with there shopping experience.
Then, they went and destroyed some hobos under the overpass.
Slowly.