teacher, you can't be yourself

September 22, 2009

Dr. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
OIC College President


Dear Sir;

Good day!

This letter serves as my response to the memorandum that I received last September 18, 2009 at around 4:30 in the afternoon. The memo directed us to explain in writing within 72 hours upon its receipt, but I couldn’t possibly be able to produce the said request for the following days were Saturday and Sunday, and the following Monday (September 21) was declared as a holiday. Thus, it is only today that I will be able to give this letter. My sincere apologies for that matter.

Thursday, September 17, 2009, I arrived at the campus at exactly 7:05 AM for my first period class. I was the third in the list of teachers who arrived in school. I really try my best to arrive before 7:00 AM, but due to the distance I have to travel from my home to the school and also the repair and road constructions in Puerto, it is quite difficult to do so.  After signing on the logbook, I proceeded to the library to prepare my things for class. As I was still at the library, some of my colleagues also arrived for their first period classes. And while being there at the library, I looked my classroom and noticed that only a few students were there. So at 7:15 AM, I and the other teachers staying at the library went to our classes. I did not go directly to my class for I know that there will still be a lot of my students who will be late for my class. Furthermore, it is provided in the handbook that the students as well as the teachers are given a grace period of 15 minutes before they could be considered late. As a teacher, I personally want my students to be majority in number before I start my class so I wouldn’t be repeating my discussion only for the sake of those who were late. I also want the majority of the students to be present in my class so that majority of them will be able to understand the lessons with the hope that they will all pass my subject.

Rest assured Sir, that my 15 minutes tardiness in reporting to my class was not intentionally done to break the rules that the school has established, nor was it a direct disobedience to my superiors.

Although I have explained my side Sir, I would like to say a few words through this letter, because I want to express myself and I want to be an honest employee rather than say things behind other people’s backs. But this does not mean that I am angered nor do I want offend you Sir.

The memorandum indicated that I was 30 minutes late, which is contradictory to the fact that I arrived in school at 7:05 and I went to my class at 7:15 AM based on the clock at the library. I was not alone when I left the library at 7:15 AM Sir, there were three other teachers with me who also had 7:00 AM classes but also went to their classrooms at 7:15, but they were not listed in the memorandum. Their classrooms were on the opposite building with reference to my classroom. We met at the corridor on my way to my class; you told me that I was 30 minutes late. I greeted and smiled at you Sir. I was the first teacher to get inside the classroom on that wing. No other teachers were there, for as I was inside my room already, when other teachers arrived in their respective rooms.

Correct me if I am mistaken Sir, but we met first at the corridor before you saw Ms. Dizon arrive in the campus. But in the memorandum that we received, Ms. Dizon, accordingly, concurred only 20 minutes of tardiness.

The memorandum also said that Ms. Riza Mae Canete was tardy for 30 minutes. I was already in the classroom discussing when I saw Ms. Canete pass by my class on the way to the Biology Laboratory to prepare her things for her class at Room 15. My classroom at that time was at Room 15. Thus, I could not understand why both Ms. Canete and I, according to the memorandum, arrived thirty minutes late for our classes.

I am not rebellious of the fact that I was given a memorandum Sir, in fact I am happy that your administration is initiating several thrusts to improve the faculty and quality of education in this institution, but it is my plea that everybody who committed the mistake will be reprimanded, and this acts of reprimand will be consistent all throughout the school year.

It is not my intention to offend you Sir, but, as I have said, I’d rather say what I feel to the person concerned rather than talk behind other people’s backs. This is to ensure that no grudges or any form of enmity may evolve.

Again, my sincere apologies for the mistake I have committed, and I thank you for the chance that you have given us to explain our side.

May God bless us all!



Respectfully yours,

MS. MILGER A. BAANG
________________________________________

         This was the letter that I sent as my response to our OIC-President when I received a memorandum on the twenty-first of September of this year. The moment I received the memo, my tear ducts began to fill with salty tears; but I tried my best not to let them fall, I didn’t want to show the others that I was affected be a mere memorandum. I even joked about the memorandum that I received just to cover up my humiliation. I was humiliated because the memorandum was not directly given to me, it was given to somebody else, and that somebody happened to read the memo. And so it was sort of announced to everybody that I received a memorandum because of my “tardiness”.

This is what’s so difficult with the teaching workplace; the so-called academe—you have to be tough; you can’t be a mallow, or else you wouldn’t survive. It was through teaching that I discovered I should have a mask, and that no matter what happens, I can’t take off my mask when I’m still in a place where teachers and students abound.

         I was quite nervous when I handed my written explanation to the secretary of the OIC-President, because as what my friend had commented, my letter was too defensive and quite accusing. But I didn’t mind my friend’s comment, that’s why the following day, I was called to report to the office of the OIC-President. 

         It’s very difficult to be honest around here. This place is my jungle. But I guess I’m learning to play ‘the most dangerous game’.

And so, I was called and asked to explain what I have written in my letter (it was such a waste of time for me, what was the purpose of me writing that letter?). But anyway, when I explained my side I wasn’t TOO honest, and the result was, the OIC President accepted my explanation.

Honesty isn’t the best policy anymore around here. If you want to survive in the academe (as what I have learned), you have to bow down to the wishes of the ‘authorities’, and never question them unless you are sure that you will be able to find another job with just a flick of a hand. You have to always use sugar-coated words whenever you are in the presence of these “heavenly bodies”, as what I fondly call them. When I began to teach, I also began to live a life of lies and deception…

When you are a teacher, you can’t be yourself.