Beat down a drum

My wife and I met Jacob when he was around 6 years old in the summer of 1986.

His recently divorced mom and sister, Sara moved into a home nearby from Wisconsin to start a new life. We got to know them pretty well and she eventually married a high school friend of ours. We all became best of friends.

We attended his band recitals, went boating and camping, had BBQs together and we shared holidays like Thanksgiving and Easter with their families.

He loved to house sit for us and watch our 3 big golden retrievers every time we went on vacation. Our trust in him was immeasurable. He was like a son to us.

At 27, he took a direction I never imagined possible. That was four years ago,....today.


I am because of you, Jacob Stigler


Shy only brave, and quietly loud
the sound of a drum, and gather a crowd

Music released, a need to scream out
seed in a hand, and away not a doubt

deserving attention, yet starved for affection
to beat down a drum, that showed no direction

smiling away pain without any gain
no sign to be seen, no need to sustain

day after day the drum beat away
till one day it stopped on that warm summer day

why couldn't they see, he just needed love
a soul full of sorrow, on wings of a dove


Jacob, dear Jacob...I miss you.