Freedom in a Knifes Edge

‘Does everything in life have to be evil?’
Ironically it’s a question I often ask myself, whilst sitting here in my own personal version of hell. I still remember the days where I thought being put in a prison cell would kill me, being claustrophobic and all. I also believed I would never murder anyone. I guess I was wrong on both accounts.
This is my story, although you must be warned, it’s not a pretty one, it doesn’t have a fairytale ending, nor is it a love story. It’s my story. I’d love to say I turn into a vampire or some other wonderful mythical creature. But that would be a lie.


'No' I whispered under my breath, whilst you started beating me down like you always do. The rage was building up, the will to escape, ‘No’ I whispered again, but you didn’t hear... I couldn’t stand it anymore; I couldn't bare this constant torture. I wanted to kill you, with that butchers knife, you know the one, remember you threatened me with it, cut my upper arm with it, branded me, ring any bells?

'NO!' I roared 'YOU WILL NOT OWN ME!' I was my own person; I had the right to be, didn't I? I just wanted to be free, to be happy, to go and see the world, to make my mark. I wanted you to love me, maybe you did, but with you constantly leaving your marks on my body, with every pound of your fist against my rigid frame, it became harder for me to believe that.
I used to be strong willed, dominating even. But you, you turned me into some little frail mouse, no voice, and no opinion, subjective only to you. And I just couldn’t conform any more, my old self wanted to burst out and hack at your limbs, and who was I to stop it? I had endured your anger for a year and eight months, surely it was my turn… right?

It was my turn to make you so scared you pissed your pants, my turn to make you feel helpless, and my turn to show you where you stand, where you belong. I would get my own back… But not today, first I had to make you crumble; make you feel worthless, just like you did to me. Make you hate yourself, make you feel like there was no way out. Basically I was here to make your life hell. You just didn’t know it yet.

You could not believe your ears, the look of astonishment on your face, at first I thought you might just leave me be, might just go to the pub and get pissed. But then, that smile broke out on your face, for the first time in my life I thought I might die. That smile I could swear was the devils smile… But this time it was worse. 


Note to reader: Obviously this isn't finished, I'm just curious about your views, personally I like it, so it probably won't change, but I'm hoping to progress it into something to be proud of. And I thats something I could use your opinions for, to help me create something that not only brushes on the trials and tribulations of somepeoples lives, but explors a world that happens too often in reality, for better and for worse. Thanks for reading!