Reviewing Items You Don't Like

Imagine the situation: You are a Reviewer, and you have an important job, and that’s reviewing this guy’s items. You’ve read and reviewed a few of this guy’s items, a couple of poems dedicated to a friend, or the military, and they are all touching. You’ve also read some of his stories, a short movie spoof, and a crime comedy, and these made you laugh. However, this next item stops you from laughing. The item is about a lesbian werewolf, and she has chosen her partner, and a certain scene shows up. You want to stop, but you are glued to the whole thing. Finally, the end comes. Now, you have a job to do: give that review.

Now, you have a few options. One is to hit the Back button and find a different item to review. You could do that, they might have items you can read more comfortably. The second thing you could do is say, “This is a piece of Crap! How could you write This? I expected Better!” and you give the item a one star. That boosts your assertiveness, and makes you feel better about the need to squirt liquid soap into your ear and scrub out your brain.

However, both of those options can have serious consequences. In the first, you might be part of some group that forces you to review only that item, or they don’t have another item in their gallery. As for the second one, your Reviewing Reputation could be severely tarnished, as the guy could go around telling people about your cruddy review and show them it, and next thing you know, your email is flooded with “How could you?”s and many others have Blocked you from seeing their items.

I guess that leaves you with option number three, which is to try and give the item an honest review. That might be tricky, as you might still feel the need to squirt liquid soap into your ear and scrub out your brain. However, it can be done.

Here is but one simple method: Look at everything but the one scene.

Is the Spelling and Grammar correct, with no major flub-ups?
Yes.
Give them a point.

Are the Characters well described?
Well, the one could use a bit of description.
Give them half a point.

Is the plot original?
Yes, the plot is very original.
Give them a point.

Can you visualize the scene?
Yes, I can most certainly visualize the place.
Give them a point.

How does it make you feel?
…………..Um………..
Okay, let’s give them half a point for unsettling you.

There you have it, the item is worthy of four stars. Your reputation is intact, and you can tell the person that the piece is good without revealing your dislike, and maybe in the future you’ll find something better in their gallery. Besides, perhaps this is your first step into an area you might want to try writing about in the future.

Take care and keep on writing.