Brother Forever

                    A Brother Forever

         For the longest time, I wanted to be a firefighter. I wanted to run into a burning building, do battle with the dragon, and carry out a life from its jaws. Those days are gone, now I’m too old, and in the hospital. When the Doctor told me that the carcinoma in my right lung was inoperable, giving me only 6 months to live my life. I began to dream and think as the doctor gave me more pain medication, back to the day that I can never forget.

         When I was 18 years old I joined the fire department of New York, - FDNY- the greatest fire department in the world. The city was amazing; the people were of a different world, and I enjoyed every single moment of it. Nothing could beat it, the roar of the siren winding up, the cars all moving to the side as you scream past them through red lights, it’s an adrenalin rush like no other. I love the sense of pride when I’m  wearing my station’s shirt, the feeling of joy when I help some one, a complete stranger and they say “thank you”; all this was about to change.

         They teach you in academy that your partner is your friend, he/she is your lifeline, your way out of the fire, they teach you to never lose them and that they are yours to watch out for just like they are going to do for you. I have never had to break that rule. My partner Chris and I have been on the engine together since academy, and joined the same station, station 343. We have seen our fair shares of fires and close calls, but nothing beats this one. It’s funny even at my old age of 78,  I can think back to that fateful day, and even to this day I wonder if I made the right decision. 

         As the gong rings, Chris wakes me “McCoy lets go, smoke condition in that old apartment complex.” “I call nozzle!” I screamed at him as he slid down the fire pole. Chris’s reply was “first one on the engine.” I knew then he would get it because Chris is the champion in the station at the two minute drill. I wasn’t that good at that drill, I could never fully get all my gear on in two minutes, but I could out run Chris. “You’re on,” I said as I took my turn down the pole. When I landed, Chris was already on the truck with a big smile saying “looks like I get to use the nozzle.” “Yea, yea, whatever give me a hand up,” I said as I threw my coat up in to the cab of our engine. Over the radio we heard “Station 343, confirmed structure fire, multiple floors, people entrapped.” With that, it was time for work.

         As we pulled up, Chief Morris radioed “Dispatch general alarm,” thinking to myself with a smile, “some dispatcher gets to lift up the plastic ‘Do not Open’ box that covers the ‘O shit tone’ more commonly called general alarm, and press it.” All stations and all squads in the area are responding to what will be the biggest fight, and most costly battle any of us could have predicted. Hood on, packed up, I grabbed Chris and the hose and we headed into do battle with the red dragon.

         We made entry through the front door, as we walked in all I could see was the beam of light from my flash light cutting in to the heavy smoke on the floor. “Fire fighters, anyone hurt!?” I yelled, with no response, Chris tapped me and said “fire is on the second floor”, so we began our crawl like we were trained to do. We crawled on our hands and knees so if a flash over was to happen it would go over us. We dragged our hose behind us as we started up the stairs to the second floor, and over the radio we heard, “Search team 1 to command, the upper floors are completely engulfed, all victims evacuated” said Chaz, member of search team 1. A glow of red and orange dimly began to come into view; I knew we have made it to the dragons lair. “Hose team 1 to command, were on station second floor, visible flames, charge the line” I radioed. As soon as I finished water came flowing up to Chris and I, and we began our epic battle against the red dragon. Inch by inch we moved forward, and even with the water, flames still were shooting over our heads, we had it cornered, the fire on our floor was almost out, but it would not go with out a fight. We began to hear a weird noise; it meant time to get out of there. “GO, GO, GO the floors giving!” Chris yelled as he pushed me back and disappeared into the smoke and rubble. “Chris, Chris, come in,” I franticly said “Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, fire fighter McCoy to command, fire fighter down! Chris is down!” I started to panic, my partner was gone, and now he’s alone and so am I. “Command to RIT team 1, make entry and begin search of fire fighter Warring” Chief Morris radioed. I knew our air was low, and that Chris needed help, so I began to crawl out, following the hose line that is now out of control. I knew that every cup link was 25 feet of hose, and I just passed my third link. “Will” Chris said while coughing, “Will I’m on the first floor, I can’t move, I’m 5 minutes away from bingo air.” “Chris I’m on my way” I said, then I heard, “RIT team 1 to command, we can not go any farther, all ways are blocked and the fire is too hot.” Chaz said. By this time I have started down the stairs. “Fire fighter McCoy, from Command, flames are through the building is collapsing, we have to pull out the team.” Chief Morris radioed. The 5 minute vibrating alarm on my SCOTT pack began to go off; I am ten minutes into the structure.

“Fire fighter Warring to Command, pull them out, it’s my call.” The roof began to cave in, the heat was unbearable, “Chris, I’m on the first floor, were…” I was cut off. “Command to all units, evacuate the building.” Chief Morris radioed with a sorrowful tone. Sirens began to wail from out side, the signal to evacuate form the structure. “Fire fighter Warring, God speed,” continued Morris, as I rounded the corner to head down the hall were I though Chris was, I ran into the RIT team. All my air was gone, I had no mask on, I could barely breathe, but I didn’t care, my friend was hurt in there. Chaz and the other two fire fighters began to drag me out. “Will we have to get out of here” they said.  I was pulled out by the RIT team, yelling and crying “Chris is in there! I can’t leave him!” Just as they dragged me to the engine and I started to run back to the building; it collapsed.

         It hurt, I just lost my friend, my brother, my partner, and I couldn’t help him. I let him down, as I kneel here, the sounds of the engines running, water flowing  the smell of smoke, the taste of sweat and tears on my tongue, the building in a rubble pile, Chris was gone. The next day we recovered his charred, smoking helmet; the only thing remaining. Chief Morris knew we were close and said, “You gotta get through this Will, the company is behind you. You have to get back on the engine.” “Yes Sir, do you want me to tell Chris’s mom Chief,” I asked? “No it’s my job I’ll do it, go get some rest.”

         The next two days were the hardest of my life, I wept like a small child would if they lost a pet, only I lost my best friend, and it was hard. I walked into our room Chris and mine’s, it was hard, I had to put all his belongings in a box so we could give them to his mother. I picked up the picture of us after graduation on the academy and began to cry. Chaz found me on the floor in tears holding the picture, I couldn’t let go. I didn’t want to. Three days after Chris died we held the parade. The sirens wailed, the whistles blew, the alarms rang, and the band played, a hero Chris has become. Chris gave it all for nothing in return, he saved my life and that’s a debt I can never repay. We marched down the streets, the flag draped coffin with a charred helmet in the back of the engine, the color guard leading the way the cemetery. When we arrived a sea of blue, fire fighters from the whole area came, and stood in rank to honor Chris. Tears began to roll down my face, I couldn’t hold them in anymore, Chris’s mother was here and she stood strong, stronger then me. Chief Morris addressed the crowd of fire fighters, of brothers, “ Fire fighter Christopher Warring has heard the call. May he rest in peace and watch over us. We must take his courage and get back on the truck, the engine, whatever the call is, Chris would want us to continue on. Chris go in peace,” Chief Morris finished his speech with a salute, presentation of the flag, and Chris’s helmet to his teary eye mother. “Battalion, hand salute” the trumpeter began to play taps, more and more tears began to flow, every fire fighter snapped into a hand salute, the sound of their crisp clean uniforms made a uniformed sound as Chris was lowered into the earth. Chief Morris, in tears, gave the final order, “order arms.”

         As I was walking back to the engine, I stopped by Mrs. Warring, Chris’s mother, tears in both of our eyes, nothing could be said. A hug was all I could think of, she was in formed of how Chris died, and she knew how I felt. I wanted to tell her everything, how much Chris meant to me, how much I loved being his partner and friend, but I couldn’t. I began to walk away, I didn’t care were I was going, Mrs. Warring said to me, “McCoy stop, I want you to take Chris’s helmet, he would have wanted it to go to you, a fire fighter, his partner, his friend.” Speechless, more tears, I nodded and took the helmet. I knew then everything will be ok, I knew with the smile from Mrs. Warring that all will be ok. “From this day on”, I said to Mrs. Warring, “I will ride the engine, and will always think of Chris.” 

         “Dad, Dad? Can you hear me?” Still groggy from the medication, I began to come too, and over me was my son. “Chris?” I said. “Yea Dad its me, its Chris.”

         

When I'm called to duty god

wherever flames may rage

give me strength to save a life

whatever be its age

Help me to embrace a little child

before it is too late

or save an older person from

the horror of that fate

Enable me to be alert

to hear the weakest shout

and quickly and efficiently

to put the fire out

I want to fill my calling and

to give the best in me

to guard my neighbor and

protect his property

And if according to your will

I have to lose my life

bless with your protecting hand

my children and my wife 

                                  Fire Fighters Creed