Dead Red Roses

My life has become a brittle bouquet
Of dead red roses in rapid decay
And all that I thought one day I could be
Is now but a part of lost history.

I look to the East and yearn for the West,
Confusion conceals the best of my quest.
Lost to the ages and rages of time,
Dreams of destruction destroy my sublime.

Life's haunting refrain just leaves me with pain,
I see only loss while looking for gain.
Shattered and battered from reckless crusades,
While searching for truth but truth always fades.

Bitter and broken my life out of hand,
Darkness descending as I make a stand.
I once was an eagle, flying up high,
But I lost my wings and then lost the sky.

Born with great gifts to both give and receive,
And when I was young, my youth did believe,
But then I became a pawn in the game
Of pleasure and pain, both buried in shame.

Disease of the mind I carried at birth,
A bipolar life would measure my worth.
Paternal genetics, a father's first gift;
Our two brains afflicted predicted the rift.

A childhood erratic emphatic with fears
Where highs and lows would flow with salted tears.
All chance of normal family stripped bare;
No blood on blood can love or dare to share.

Illusion with confusion then to war
As wasted-worn tore through my inner core.
With hope I leave those years of fear behind
For now the time has come to heal the mind

So it can make each day forever free,
Immersed in verse with life's sweet poetry;
This man who loves his sacred family
Is part of the bark that beautifies the tree.