Untittled

It is I who am ruled by my heart,
And as I do what feels good and love who loves back..
I have doubts about my sainity when its good its euphoric and when its bad its hell.

I dont want to live my life so afraid of what hurts me that I dont move,
I can't grow.. I'm unchanged.. just the same ha no pain no fear just regret..
In an instant I could lose it all and damn when I fall, I fall hard asunder and I cant be that girl again..victum, weak, worthless..

Love me exactly how I am not who I could or should be..
All I ever wanted was someone to look past my mistakes I"m so flawed,
Accpetance, love, sencerity, trust, and honesty like fary tales I've waining belief

So I wont fly, instead I'll hide..
Allowing fear to overcome and ruin,
Or I could crawl from those dark faint places

Take a serious look in the mirror,
And the bad with the great with the sad..
How can I know the real thing without knowing the wrong?

It is I who am ruled by my heart and blind to my mind.
Making the same mistakes and never understanding the lesson,
Holding on for all the wrong reasons and pushing away anyone who could love me..

All I ever wanted was escape.. from the pain and the past with it's tourments
To know a genuine heart and an open mind who could find time and the will to love me
Because I'm crazy, I know what I want but I run from it rather than love and have lost I hide from it.. rather than admit I am wrong I leave my pride in it..

Eyes closed,
And the reality has set in..
Nothing but darkness and peace surround me,
I am not who I appear to be and I can't let go of who I used to be..