Find me

She was sitting in the back of the class alone. She is always there. No one really knows her. People are too scared to get close. "Look at her." a girl in her class whispers. "Shes a FREAK." the other girls around laugh. "SHHH! Don't be to loud or Kayy will cry like the emo bitch she is." they all continued to laugh. Kayy heard everything they said just like she hears everything everyone says about her. She just learned to ignore it. Kayy had long brown hair that was always straight. She wore eyeliner that covered the top of her eye and black eye shadow. She was always in skinny jeans and some Vans. Kayy absolutely hated her life. She wanted to die everyday. She was waiting for the fateful day her cuts will grow deep enough. Deep enough to let her blood flow and her tears to stop forever. For her pain to be lifted and her life to be over. She was always alone. No one ever came up to her. They were too scared. She wasn't sure what they were scared of exactly though. She never hurt anyone. At least she never tried to. She always just sat in the back of the class. Quiet. Never said a word. Her head down looking at her wrists. all the scares. All the words. HATE. LOVE. PAIN. In her arm she read thoose words every day. She was never close to anyone. Everyone just ran away from her. Never talked to her. Only looked at her when they were making fun of her. Life sucked for her. School was bad but home was worse. The fighting never seemed to end. The yelling. The screaming. The crying. She often locked herself in her room and cried herself to sleep. Never did anyone care about her. She hated school but she hated her house more. Sometimes she would go sleep at the park a couple streets down from her house. It was peaceful there. Quiet. In class when she wasnt just stareing at her wrists she wrote poems. Not the sappy love peoms that rymed. The kind of poems that expressed feelings. She would keep all of her poems in an orange folder in her backpack. She never showed anyone her stories. Then again no one asked. Her life was sad and lonely. No one really cared for her. She was alone in this great big world. As she sits on her bus she looks out the window in silence. Wishing some one,anyone, would come up to her and talk but of course no one did. She is tired. Tired of her self. Of her life. She is tired of being lonely. Alone. All alone. She pulls out some paper and a pencil and writes. 'Life never revives me. Death is all that can do that. Forever in lonesome. Forever in depth of depression. Forever swallowed by pain. Life is lonely.' She puts that poem in her notebook and quietly waits for her stop.

Every morning she wakes up she feels a sense of disapointment. She has to continue on with her life today. She wishes she could've died at nght. She gets ready and starts walking to school. Its cold. She sees her icy breath as she breaths in and out. She walks silently and alone. She lives pretty far away from her school and thats why she left before the morning sun rose. She can see the sun coming up the horizon. It dosent help her iced body. She dosent mind the cold though. She likes the feeling of being chilled. She hates the heat. When its hot outside she stays home all day. Lucky its not really all that warm where she lives. She continues to walk. When she is about half way there the sun is in full veiw. Its only about 6:30. She turns onto the street without a name. She calls it that because the street name sign is spray painted black and its been that way for as long as she can remember. Still no one is around but that dosent surprise her. Everyone rides the bus now because since its the middle of winter they think its too cold to walk. She never feels that cold. In fact she is barely chilled right now. She is turning again on to a really long street. This street is called Cloudfront Dr. She continues to walk. It was two or three minutes of walking on that street when she thinks she hears footsteps behind her. She dosent turn to look. But when she hears her name being called her curiosity gets the better of her. "Kayy! Kayy!" She turns around to see a person running at her. Waving his hands he catches up. Kayy looks at him confused. This boy looks familiar. "I thought i'd never catch up to you." he says breathing heavily. "Excuse me. I don't mean to be rude but who are you?" Kayy asks. The boy smiles. "I'm Jake." he says, "We have Science and Math together." Kayy finnally remembers. "Oh, yeah." Kayy smiles she finnally has someone to talk to. "Your new right?" Kayy says to Jake. He looks down at his feet. "Yeah. Been getting a bad wrap as the new kid. You know?" She puts her arm on his back and says, "Its ok. Trust me I probly have the worst wrap of the both of us." He looks up at her. "Yeah I know. I heard what thoose girls were saying in Science yesturday." Kayy felt embaressed and looked at her own feet. "You dont look like an emo bitch to me." he lifts her head up to where she is looking at him. He smiles. She does too. "So, why do they call you emo?" "Probly because of theese." Kayy pulls up her sleeve as she says that. Exposeing her collection of scares and her words. HATE. LOVE. PAIN. To her surprise he pulls up his own sleeve and shows her his own collection of scares. "Wow. You don't look like you'd do something like that." Kayy says. "Lets just say I have problems at home." he says back with a smile. "You too?" she replies. He looked at her with sad eyes. "Yea. I'm sorry i know how hard it can be." "It's ok." Kayy gently shrugged off the subject. "Hey, you know what?" Jake says when they get close to the school. "What?" Kayy asks, "You should sit with me today." Kayy smiles "Ok." They walk in silence for awhile. "Where you from?" Kayy asked. "Minnesota." "You came from far away." she said sypathetically "Yea, I guess." he seems to be hidning something, but Kayy didn't dig deeper she just met this guy. Jake had long black hair that was cutting off just after his eyes. His bangs were pushed off to the side of his face. His face was a light tone and he had rosy cheeks probly because of the cold. He was wearing black skinny jeans and some black converse. His dark blue jacket was zipped only half way. His red shirt just barely visable. They were about halfway down the last rode to their school when they started to see people. "Oh great." he says. Kayy just stays silent. A strong icy gust of wind blew by. Kayy felt the icy air chill her bones. She started to shiver when she realized she wasn't wearing a jacket. "Shit." she whispered. Jake noticed her being cold and took his jacket off and wrapped it around her. "You aren't cold?" she asks. "No. The weather is much worse in Minnesota." she looked at him with a grateful smile. He returned the smile. When they finnally got to class she tried to take his jacket off but he said, "No. Don't." She looked at him confused. "I don't want you to be cold." he said. "Just keep it. I have others." he looked at her and smiled his gorgeous smile. She couldn't help but smile back. "I'll see you in math." he said as she walked into her class. "Ok." she replied with a smile. Could she actually be fallling for this guy? No way it isn't possible. Or is it?

Lanugage. Oh how Kayy hated Language. You write what your told to and you get judged on your own creativity. In Language no one should be wroung. It's practically your own perspective. The only thing is usually the teacher gives you a topic and you write. Thats the only input the teacher should have. For Kayy her language teache was Mrs. Barham. She was ok but still Kayy thinks she judged a little too much on thier own writing. For most of Language class Kayy was thinking about Jake just something about him made her smile. Was it his charming smile? Was it his gourgeous face? Or was it the fact that he is the only person that has come up to her and acttually talked to her. Kayy pulls out some more paper and a pencil. She writes. 'What is it about you? What is it that makes me smile? What do you do? All i can do is sit here and let you take over my mind perfectly.' She puts that poem in her orange folder and continues to think about Jake. His jacket wraped around her. The smell of his collogne lingers but Kayy dosen't mind. She loves the smell it reminds her of him. After Language Kayy has Home Ec. She hates this class too. Just a bunch of nerds and people who think their too good for anybody. She felt very out of place here. The teacher makes many efforts to reach out at Kayy but they never work. "Kayy." Ms. Salas would say " What did you get for question 7?" Kayy always got everything right in that class but she never felt like talking so she just shook her head to signal 'I don't know.' Home Ec. is usually short class so after that class she heads down the hallway ,alone of course. As she is turning to get out the door she hears a familiar voice call her name. "Kayy!" jake calls from behind her. "Kayy! Wait up." Kayy stops and leans against the wall waiting for him. When he catches up he smiles and says, "Hi." Kayy smiles back and says, "Hi." back. "We have math next right?" he asked "Yeah." she replied. "Cool. Not to sound weird or nothing but i've been looking forward to this class all day." "Me too." Kayy had butterflies in her stomach. She never gets theese anymore. This new guy is really screwing with her. But she liked it. When they got to Math Kayy sat next to Jake. "Are you any good at Math?" Jake asked. "Yeah im actually really good." it was true Kayy had an eighth grade average this year. She is in 7th grade. "Ok. Good i just can't stand the girls that are pretty but as dumb as a doornail. But i guess you have the best of both worlds." He smiled. Kayy couldn't belive he just called her pretty. "Haha. Sure i am." She giggled at him. "It's true." he said with a straight face. He must really think im pretty. Kayy thought. But all that Kayy could choke out was, "And pigs can fly." he surprised her when he laughed and said, "Then i guess they can." Before Kayy could reply Mr.Sanches walked in. Math was easy like it usually is. Too soon the class was over. They got up to leave and when Kayy walked out the door she felt a hang grab hers. She turned to see Jake. He smiled. She smiled back they walked down the hall hand in hand. She wasn't sure where they were going. She really didn't care ethier. She finnally realized her true feelings for this guy. She really liked him. When they got to the bathrooms he stoped looked around and said, "Wanna ditch this period?" "Sure." she replied she ditched several times a day. He smiled and pulled her away they ran outside. When the got outside of the gates she turned around to check if anyone has seen. No one has. They walk for awhile. Her hand in his. "Your hands are really cold." he said. "They always are." he squeesed her hand tight and she returned the squeese. They walked for awhile when he stoped for no reason and turned to look at Kayy. His face was calm. She looked into his baby blue eyes. Then what happened next no one expected. He leaned in and kissed her. Kayy felt the whole world stop. Time froze. He pulled away and Kayy kissed him back. He smiled and she did to. They continued to walk. "I have to know something." Jake said. "What is it?" Kayy replied. "Do you like me?" "Like what kind of like?" Kayy asked a little confused. "Do you like me more than a friend." he said with a serious face looking at her. Kayy was hesitant but finnally she replied, "Yes." They walked in silence for a little while. "I like you too." Jake replied. He looked at her and his eyes sparkled. He looked at his watch. "We should start heading back." Kayy shook her head yes, and they turned around. When they got back to the school it was lunch. Before they went back on school grounds he kissed her one more time. They smiled and Kayy still was smililing when she walked to class after lunch. She was alone again but she didnt care. She was in Love with Jake. No doubt.

Kayy's day went by fast. Untill it got to 6th period. Science class. She walked into Science and saw no sign of Jake so she sat in the back of the class were she usually sits. She pulls out her orange notebook and some paper and a pencil. She wrote. 'Love. Such a silly word. Thrown around so much theese days. How do you know when what you feel is real? You look into thier eyes and they sparkle. When they hug you everything in the world is ok. When they kiss you, your on top of the world. Love is strong and powerful. Love is.............' "What are you writing?" Jake asks. "Huh?" Kayy looks up surprised that he is there. "What is in that folder?" he asked focused on the folder. "The stuff i write." she relpied. "Can i read it?" he asks. "Sure." she says with a smile. He looks through the note book and reads alot of them. "Wow, your really good." he says. "Thanks." she replies. Jake seems distracted. "Jake." she says. "Hmm?" "Whats on your mind? You seem distracted." "I'm just thinking." he says. "What about?" she asks. "Nothing. I mean I'll tell you later." he seems troubled. "Ok." After class Kayy grabs her things headed tward her RTI class when again someone has grabbed her hand. It was Jake. "Can I ask you something?" he says. "Yea. What is it?" she replies. "Do you think we should be togeather?" she is surprised. He wants to be with her? Why her? Kayy finnally finds her voice. "If you want to." he smiles and replies. "I do and thats why i am asking you to be my girlfriend." she can't help but smile. "Of course I will be your girlfriend." he smiles and hugs her tight. Once he lets go of her hug he kisses her. The kiss was strong but sweet and it made Kayy's knees feel weak. Luckly Jake's strong arms were there to hold her up. Eventually he pulled out. "Wow." Kayy whispers. He smiles and walks her to class. She is in her class alone. She has thoughts of him the entier time. RTI seems to zoom by. As soon as class is out she grabbs her stuff and walks out to be surprised by Jake standing there. "Hi." she says. Jake looks up and smiles. "Hi." he grabs her hand. They walk out togeather. He asks if she rides a bus and she says "Yes, 45 but only in the afternoons." he walks her to her bus and slips a peice of paper into her backpack. He holds her untill the busses engines start. He gives her a kiss. Slipping his tounge in and out. She follows. After about a minuite he pulls out and says, "You got a bus to catch." he smiles and gives her one last kiss. "See you tomorow." Kayy nods her head as he walks backwards away. She turns and runs to her bus, just in time.

When Kayy gets home she pulls out her paper that Jake had slipped into her backpack. It was a number that had 'Jake's Cell' written next to it. She ran into her room and pulled out her old beat up cell phone. She dials the number and waits for his answer. "Hello?" Jake on the other side says. "Hi. It's Kayy." "Oh, hey." "Whats up?" she says "Nothing. Just can i call you later. I'm um a little busy." she was a little surprised. "Yea sure." she says "Ok bye." before she could say bye back he hung up. Whats happening? She was a little worried. But after awhile she just decided that she will ask about it tomorow morning. She layed down in her bed and before she knew it she was alseep. She had a weird dream. She was on the road with no name. She sees Jake in a fog about half way down the street. Kayy calls to him, "Jake! Jake!" she calls but no answer. She runs twoards him. The fog gets thicker. It's hard to breath. She gets to Jake. She screams at what she sees. Then she is being shaken awake by her mom. "You were screaming in your sleep!" Her mom snapps at her. "You woke up the entire house!" her mom continues to yell. "Get your ass out of bed and go to school now!" Kayy gets up and gets ready for school shaking the entire time. She was still scared from her dream. by the time she got out the door her mom was already screaming at her siblings. The sun was still down. The icy air auttomatically hits her. She is still wearing Jakes jaket. Fearing for him she walks to the street with no name. She is walking down the street when she sees Jake at the same spot as her dream. This makes her shake with fear. Untill she hears his voice. "Kayy!" He's running towards her. At least her dream didn't come true she says in her head allowing herself to relax a bit. He catches up. "I was waiting for you." he says with his same sweet smile. "You didn't have to." she says still a little up tight. "I wanted to." he says grabs her hand and starts walking. They were walking in silence untill they turn onto Cloudfront Dr. when Jake finn-ally speaks. "Ok. What's up with you today? You seem a little out of it." Kayy thinks about his suspicious behavior then the disturbing dream she had. "Nothing just a wierd dream last night." she finnally answered. "What was the dream about?" he asked she hesitated and finnally told him, "Well i was walking when i got to that street back there. When i saw you at the same spot you were this morning. It was pretty foggy. I was calling your name and running to you. You never answered. When i finnally got to you........" Kayy stoped talking. "What? What did you see?" he asked with a sound of curiosity in his voice. The tears were swelling in Kayy's eyes when she told him. "You were hanging from that willow tree back there." she swallowed her tears. "Dead." silence. "Are you ok?" he asked. Kayy finnally snapped out of her hase and realized that tears were falling down her face and hitting the pavement. Jake stops walking and hugs her as tight as possible. "Whats wroung?" he whispers in her ear. "I was scared. Your the best thing in my life and just the thought of losing you it unimaginable." the tears are flowing steadily now but she makes no noise. He is still hugging her when he says, "I'll never leave you. I'm yours forever." Kayy stops crying. He still has his arms around her when he stops hugging her. Kayy wipes her tears with the sleeve of his jacket. He staers deep into her eyes. They just sit there for a couple minutes when he leans in and kisses her. Their tounges sliding in and out. Kayy's eyes are closed and she sees images of him the entire time. They stay in this position for at least 3 minuites. When they finnally pull out Kayy feels like she is on top of the world. He smiles and kisses her again. This time it was just a two second kiss, but still amazing. He grabs her hand looks at her squeeses it and she returns the squeese. Then they continue walking to school. Hand in hand. Togeather. As one.

Kayy has feelings. Most people think she dosen't exept Jake of course. But everyone else just thinks she is some emo freak in the back of the class room. She has feelings though. Sometimes shes sad. Sometimes shes angry. And sometimes, like now, shes in love. She loves Jake. What if he dosent love her back? What would he do? Should she tell him? She is confused but right now she is glad he is hers and she is his. She is just glad they are together. That kiss this morning. The long one. There was something there. Something special. But that dream. That dream it meant something she just knows it did. What did it mean? Was she really going to loose him? Or is something going to happen to her to sepreate them? What if they just get seperated? Or what if...."RRRIIINNNGGG!" the bell rings signaling that it is time for 2nd period. Kayy is the last to leave her class. Once she is out she is surprised to see Jake standing against the wall. He looked up and smiled at the sight of her. "Hey baby." he said. "Hi." she says a little taken by the fact he called her baby. She liked it though. It gave her butterflies. They walk hand in hand halfway to class. When they reached halfway he stoped walking. "Kayy i need to tell you something." Kayy looks up at him, "What is it?" she says. "Kayy, i know its soon but i think i umm, i think i love you." Kayy hugs him as tight as possible. At first Jake was taken off guard but soon hugged her back. "Jake, I love you too." he smiles and says, "Really?" she giggles and says, "Yes." He smiles and kisses her. He kisses her with a strong but sweet feeling. At that moment she felt safer than ever. She felt as if no one could touch them. When they finnally let go of their kiss they were both smiling. He walks her the rest of the way to class. "I'll be right here after class ok?" he said. Kayy shook her head yes. "Ok bye." he said, "Bye" she replied. Home Ec. class was boring as usual and lasted longerthan normal. Probly because she was counting down the minutes untill she would see Jake again. When class finnally got out she was once agian the last person out of her class. When she got out of the classroom Jake was right where he said he would be. Smiling already. "There you are." he said "Your always last huh?" she smiled and said, "Of course just to irratate you." they both laughed. "You know what?" she said. "What?" He replied. "I absolutely love your smile." she says. He laughs and kisses her. Just a quick kiss but one that almost knocks her off her feet. "And i love your kisses." she says with a half drunken smile. "Well i love you." he pokes her on the nose as he says that. She giggles and walks with him. They leave the electives building and just before they get in the ain 7th grade building he stops her agian. "Babe, you're so perfect. You just make my world bright. I can't belive i'm lucky enough to call you mine." she is speechless. All she can think about doing is kissing him this time. She kisses him but he quickly takes over. She dosent mind she loves that. She feels like he would do anyhting to keep her safe. Once they let out of the kiss they head straight to class.They get into math class and sit at a table in the back. His hand is in hers the entire class. When ever their hands are conjoined Kayy just feels like her heart is skipping a beat and butterflies are in her stomach. She really did love this boy. She was looking at their hands when she saw the red stain on his light blue jacket's sleeve.

The stain looks familiar. Its the stain of blood Kayy so often use to have. She rolled up his sleeve. The wound was deep. Very deep. It was about two inches down from the top of his wrist. And it was bleeding, bad. "What did you do?" she asked in a hushed tone. Jake took a second to analyze what was happening. "Put it down!" he said pulling down his sleeve. "What happened?" she asked practically in tears. "Its nothing really." he answered kind of frantic. "Nothing?" she asked him. "You probly cut a vein!" she said in a harsh whisper. "Would you calm down?" he asked angry. "Jake this is serious. We need to get you to the nurse." she said looking into his eyes. He could see her fear for him. "After class ok?" he said not wanting to scare her. "Ok." Kayy continued to hold his hand throughout class. She was truely frightened. As they sat through class Kayy thought of a story they could use to make sure she didnt think it was him doing it himself. The pole she thought. Perfect. There is a metal pole that is sticking out through the gate at their school. He could say he tripped and tried to grab it as he was falling and cut his wrist. He could also say he didn't know where the nurses was and was too embarresed to ask so he just suffered through it untill she showed him where the nurse is. Perfect idea. The bell rang. This time it was her who grabbed his hang and pulled him out of class. She walked him out of their core class building and twoards the office where the nurses office was located. She pulled him in there explained to her what happened. She said "Ok." and took him to clean him up. Once his arm was badaged up and fine she gave them both passes to class. They didn't use them. She asked if he wanted to ditch. He said "Yea. Sure." they walked out of the nurses office and towards the gate. Once off of school grounds they walked hand in hand. But there was something off about the atmosphere. It wasn't the happy loving feeling she got before. It was more like a awkward, sad situation. "Why?" she finnally said. "Why what?" Kayy pointed to his bandaged arm. "Oh. This." he shook his arm around. "I just was bored." Kayy stoped. "Bored? You were bored so you cut your wrist? That could've been a death blow man!" she was tearing up. "Don't cry please." He said hugging her tightly. "I'm sorry i'll never do it agian. If thats what you want." Kayy shook her head yes. He smiled and said, "You really care about me don't you?" Kayy answered, "Of course and i can't imagine life with out you." he looked at her with sweet curious eyes. "Kayy, I'd never leave you alone. I'll always be right here with you." he hugged her agian. He just sat there with her in his arms. They sat there, for a minute maybe two when he pulled back but his arms where still wrapped around her. He leaned in and kisses her. Their tounges wrestling but not roughly. Just sweet and perfect. It felt like an eternity untill they pulled out. When they did so Kayy smiled and then blushed. Jake put his hand on her face. "Your so beautiful when you blush." she giggled and hugged him tight. Then they continued to walk. They walked for awhile untill the got to the road with out a name. He continued to walk she let him lead. They walked untill they got to a house just off of the street with no name. "This is my house." he says blankly. "My parents aren't home so we can hang out here untill we have to go." Kayy just followed him. They walked inside.

It was very tidy. Everything was clean. They sat down on a couch. He wrapped his strong arms around her. He kissed her again. Tounges sliding in and out just like before. She loved him so much. Before she knew it they were laying on his bed kissing. He smiled when they stoped kissing finnally. "I love you Kayy." he said looking at her. "I love you too." she said. they both smiled. He grabbed her hand other hand on her leg. This made her whole body tingle. He suddenly moved his hand up like two inches. "Are you nervous?" he laughed. Kayy did too. "No." they continued to laugh. He moved his hand up about two more inches and agian said "Are you nervous?" "Nope." she replied with a bored face expression. He moved his hand up four more inches. It now rested just below her hip. "Now?" he asked. "Nuh uh." she said. his hand jumped up a foot and now was on her stomach. "How bout now?" he said. "No." she said. Then his hand landed on her chest just above her boobs. He looked at her with an expression that just read "Now?" she shook her head. He dragged his fingertips down her back. He stoped just aove her bra strap in the back. He again looked at her with the same expression. And again she shook her head. This time he got to he back bra strap and undid it. He looked at her with that same expression and again she shook her head. This time he monuevered it to where her bra was completely off. Now she was just in a tank top and jeans. No bra and her jacket came off somewhere in the kissing. He looked at her agian and said "Now?" she anwsered, "No. Your gonna have to try harder." "Fine." he said. He smiled and undid her pants button. Again he looked at her and again she shook her head. So he unzipped her pants. Again she shook her head. He pulled off her pants. Again she shook her head. He crwaled on top of her in a push up position over her body. And he whispered. "Now?" she whispered right back "No." he smiled and kissed her tounges in and out wrestleing with each other when he pulls off his shirt. She kicks off her shoes. He does the same. Soon his pants were off too. Their tounges still entangleing themselves. Him no shirt and boxers. Her just a shirt and underwear. Not long after her undies were off. Then came her shirt. Still kissing he didn't even look at her exposed breasts. His boxers were the last of their clothes to come off. Soon they were both tottally naked kissing and holding eachother. He pulled his tounge out and pulled his head out. "Do you want to?" he asked. "Yes." she replied. He smiled. He kissed her just two or three more times when he started going down.

The next thing she remembered they were walking to school the next day together. She had slept at his house. His parents didn't come home. "Where is your parents?" she asked eventually. "I don't know. Sometimes she dosen't come home." Kayy looked at her feet feeling bad for asking. "Good thing though." he said with his smile, "She wouldv'e caught us." He winked. Kayy giggled. He kissed her forehead. When they got to school they were early. So they sat on the benches out side. No one else was outside of course. Too cold. She was wearing his jacket. The dark blue one he had given her before. It smelled like his colonge. He had his arm around her. Holding her tight. She felt like the safest thing ever. His warmth touched her deeply. He looked at her and smiled. "What?" she said with a giggle. "I love your eyes." he said staring at her deeply. "I love you." she said with a smile. He gently lifted her chin and pulled her in for a kiss, just the way she liked it. The kiss was sweet and long. She could feel his love pouring into her. She loved him so much! It was crazy. She never felt this with anyone before. When she finnally got to class she pulled out her orange folder. She wrote, 'So kiss me like you did, my heart stopped beating. So love me like you did, the memories are fleeting. So hold me like you did, I promise not to go. So have me like you did digging deep below.' She smiled satisfyed with it. Put it in the orange folder and day dreamed the entire period. When she got out of class there he was waiting for her ike always. He smiled and hugged her. They walked to class. Just outside the door to her class he stopped. He looked at her seriously. "I need to talk to you." she got worried. "What is it?" he looked around troubled "Not now." Just before he left he said "4th period. Ditch?" she shook her head yes and walked in as he walked away. She worried through out the entire class. When it was Math finnally. He wasn't there. She was really worried. When Math was out she saw him at the corner of the hall. She ran to him. Hugged him. And they left. When they were a good distance from the school he said, "I gotta show you something." he diddnt look at her. She just followed. When they got back to his house he just went through the door. When they got into his room he dug around in the sheets on the floor. When he was done he pulled out something wrapped. He hannded it to her. It was a wrapped condom. "What does this have to do with anything?'' she asked, "It was the one i was supposed to use yesturday." she stood there in silence, staring at the condom. "You mean you didn't use one?" he looked at her with sorry eyes. "Im sorry i just forgot." she had so many thoughts going through her mind. "Am I pregnant?" she asked. "I don't know." he answered. "My mom keeps tests under her sink." he said. "Just in case you wanted to know for sure." Kayy went to the bathroom. Under the sink were the tests. She pulled one out and shut the door. When she came out she sighed with relief. "It's negitive!" he hugged her and lifted her and spun her around. "Next time condom?" she said jokingly. "Definately." he said kissing her and hugging her tight. She left his house relived. She would'nt know what she would've done if she was pregnant. When they got back to school they headed straight to class. Not a word about the pregnancy scare.

Three weeks later. Kayy and Jake have never been closer. Untill, she realizes that her period is late. Not by much just like two or three days but she was getting worried. By the end of the week her period was almost a week late. She got to worried to stand it. She went to the nurse. "Excuse me?'' she said. "Yes ma'am?" the nurse replied. Kayy got closer. She whispered something. The nurse turned around and pulled out something and wrapped it in some tissues to hide it. Kayy found a bathroom and took a deep breath as she walked through the door. Next thing she knew she was running away from Jake. He was chasing her down Cloudfront Dr. She has tears falling down her face. She holds the test in her hand. She runs towards the willow tree from her dream. She sits under it and cries. She just cries untill Jake finnally catches up. Out of breath he sits next to her and holds her untill she stopps crying. Kayy is lost. She dosent know what to do. As she cries Jake whispers in her ear, "It's ok. I'll always be here for you. Stop crying just calm down." he said this over and over. Untill she finnally stopped crying. Once she calmed down enough he walked her to his house. He sat her down on the couch. He sat next to her. They were both lost. Scared. Confused. Lost. They had somethings to figure out but they were still kids. How were they supposed to take care of a baby? They sit there and they both fall fast asleep.

When Jake wakes up Kayy is still asleep her head on his arm. He gently moves her, careful not to wake her. When her head was resting safely on a pillow, he walks towards the bathroom. He turns on the cold water from the sink and splashes it on his face. When he looks up into the mirror all he sees is Kayy. He loved her. He loved her with all of his heart. He felt like a monster for doing this to her. "You ruined her life." he said stareing into the mirror. "I RUINED HER LIFE!" He shouted. He got so angry with himself he used his already clenched fists and punded them into his reflection. Glass shattered all around him, he used his hands to sheild his face. When he looked at his hands he saw the blood driping from his left palm. He ran to the toilet paper roll and rapped layers of it around his palm. Once the toilet paper began soaking up the blood he looked around the bathroom and started to realize the damage. He looked at the shattered mirror and the blood on the floor. He finnally broke down and started to cry. He pilled his face into his palm not noticing the blood. he sobbed for a couple minuites when he heard shuffling in the glass. He didnt look up just continued to cry. Soon the shuffing stopped and he felt someone hug him and say its ok. He looked up to see that person was Kayy. Well who else would it be? I mean his mom gone forever and his dead long dead, Kayy was the only possible person that could be there. But for some reason it startled him. Kayy just looked into his eyes. Her deep blue eyes seemed to shine. She wiped the tears off his face and kissed him. When she pulled out she just said, "I'm scared too, but were gonna have to conconqure this fear togeather." He smiled and suddenly felt as if he had never loved her more.

Kayy and Jake decide it's best they dont go to school any more. "What about your parents?" Kayy asked. "Well there's something i got to tell you Kayy." He answered with a painful smile. Kayy instantly got worried. "Well what is it?" Jake hesitated for a moment, then finnally spoke up. "My mom left. She left like last month." Kayy was speechless. What was she supposed to say? "Wow, I'm so sorry . I-I didn't know." Jake continued. "My dad died when I was little." Kayy felt bad. He is all alone. On his own. She couldn't even imagine it. "Babe, I'm so sorry." was all Kayy could manage to choke out. Jake shrugged and said, "Well all I can do is move on right?" "Right." Kayy answered. But kayy can see the sadness behind his eyes. She pretended she didn't notice. That day while Kayy's parents were at work she packed up her stuff and left. She only left a picture of her and her mom when she was little. She left it on her bed. Kayy also went into the garage and took a bin of all of the kids old baby stuff. Plus her mom's credit card and $100 in cash her mom hid in the tin can on the top shelf in her closet. And then she was gone. Leaving and never planning on comeing back. "Goodbye shity memories." Kayy said and closed the door behind her for the last time.

The next months were crazy. Kayy got bigger. Got more scared. They never went to a doctor. 1 month. 2 months. 3 months. They passed by so quickly. 6 months. 7 months. 8 months. Too soon it was almost a full 9 months. Any day could be the day. Untill one night she woke up with the worse stomach pain shes ever felt. She screamed. Jake woke up. He saw her and realized they needed to go, something was wrong. He helped her to the car and drove away. He just turned 14. He knew how to drive though. He drove her to the Emergency Room. Soon they wheeled her away. He had to wait in the waiting room. Every second was torture. After what felt like an eternity a nurse called for him. She led him down a long hallway that looked as plain as the expression on her face. She stopped infront of a door that said 152 on it. She opened it and motioned for him to go inside. When he did she closed the door and he assumed she left. There was a curtian covering half of the room. When the door shut a doctor poked his head around the corner. "Are you Jake?" he asked with a serious expression. "Yes sir." he answered. "Hello Jake,I'm Dr. Martinez." he reached out with his hand. Jake shook it. "Hello Doctor." he said. "Jake i need to talk to you out in the hallway please." Jake felt like he was back in school. But all he said was "Ok." and he went out in the hall. When the door was closed behind Dr. Martinez he spoke,"Jake I'm really sorry. This is probobly the worst part of being a doctor. But I'm afraid she had a miscariage." Jake looked confused. "It's when the baby was born well, dead." Jakes heart broke. He wasn't exactly sure why. "Can i see Kayy?" he asked "Yes of course." the doctor answered. "Does she know?" Jake asked before he went in. "No." he answered. Great he thought. Now i have to tell my grlfriend our baby is dead. His eyes swelled with tears when he pushed through the door.

Kayy was still in a haze from the medicine they gave her when Jake walked in. She smiled but she could see tears spilling over his cheeks. "Jake, whats wroung?" "Kayy i need to talk to you about our baby." Kayy auttomatically thought the worse. "No. No. Don't tell me." "Kayy, I'm sorry." Kayy felt the tears spilling over her cheeks too. Jake sat next to her and held her tight. "Kayy, it's ok. It's ok." he told her over and over. Why was she so sad? Kayy couldn't figure it out. She cried when she found out she was carrying this child. And shes crying now that this child is gone forever. She never got a chance to hold it. To tell it she loved it. She never even saw it. Hell she didn't even know if it was a girl or a boy. She saw the doctor and she just had to ask. "Doctor, What was it?" he understood and said, "A girl" Wich made her cry a little more. They had decided what they were going to name it if it was a girl or boy. "Little Justine." she said. "Poor little Justine. Never had a chance to live." jake stepped in, "Little justine is an angel now. She has a halo and wings and i bet shes smiling saying she'll always love you even if she never knew you." That made Kayy smile through the tears that continued to fall. Like a never ending rain. Pouring from her broken heart.

Sometimes broken hearts will never mend. Sometimes it only takes a week, a month, maybe sometimes a year. But also sometimes it'll never end. Kayy's heart is broken and broken good. She is dismissed from the hospital. on her way out they give her a small pot, probobly no bigger than her forearm. It was white with little bunnies painted on it, they were running through a feild of grass. When she turned it over in her hands she saw a little gold plaque. It's ingraving read, " Little Justine got her wings. Flew up to heaven a little to early. Even though we never knew you we will always love you. Justine Beth 2008." Tears began to swell in her eyes as she realized that she was holding her baby's ashes. She got out of the wheel chair and hugged the nurse and said thank you. She climbed in the truck. As she watched the hospital grow farther and farther away she held the tiny pot close to her heart.

Days pass. Months. Her heart never healed. She stopped eating. She woke up in the middle of the night screaming from nightmares. Jake got worried. She grew thin and weak. Days without food. Sleep duprived. He had slowly lost her. Jake couldn't trust her. He left once for about half an hour. When he was back he found her in the kichen with the biggest knife they had placed tightly against her neck. She had more and more scares on her wrist. She was slowly loseing her mind. Deep depression took over the girl he once knew. She was no longer Kayy she was a zombie moving slowly from day to day. But he was happy when she said she wanted to get out of the house. "I'm gonna go for a short walk." she said while he was in the shower. He shouldn't have let her go. Not alone. He shouldv'e goe with her. But he cant change that now.

Jake waited for her to come back. He waited 10 minuites, 20, 30, 40, It grew dark. That was it he was gonna go look for her. He didn't have to go too far. By the time he reached the old willow at the end of the road he had found her. Hanging by the neck of that old willow tree. He grabbed his poket knife and cut her down. He caught her as she fell. "Kayy!! Kayy!! Kayy!!" he screamed. Tears were falling like a waterfall down his cheeks. Lifeless she lay in his arms. Next to the tree he saw a small back pack. He carried her over there and set her dow as he looked through it. First he pulled out at least 15 photos. All of them had her and him in it. Hugging. Holding hands. Kissing. He cried as he continued. Next he pulled out little Justine. Taped to the side was a letter. It read, "Justine i never held you but I love you. Mommy has been thinking about you since you first appeared in my stomach. When you left I died a little on the inside. I love you Justine and momie will be there soon. Love Mom." Then he cried some more and held her somemore. When he noticed a note crumppled in her hand. He got it out , it said, "Jake, I love you. I will always but i need to be with my daughter." "No no no no." he cried. "Kayy! I love you don't go!" He ran back to the house. When he got back to Kayy he said "I'll be there soon Kayy. You me and Justine togeather." He picked up the knife he had gotten and shoved it deep into his cheast. Puncturing his heart but he pulled it rite back out and cut his throught and wrists. "Be there soon." thoose were his last words.

Now down by the old willow there sit three crosses. One marked Kayy Justice. One marked Jake Folley. And the third marked Jusine Beth. Love is eternall. She was found and lost but she is now where she belongs. With her daughter and her love.

The End :)