The Short Story of Sam Reeder

There was once a young child named Sam. Sam was a strange little boy and no one really understood him. One day, he went for a walk, and misplaced his baby. This terrified him as it meant he had failed as a parent.

He spent many years searching for young Snapplewock, but he never found him. He returned home and turned on the television. And who did he see on the screen? Why, none other than Jesus Christ. Finally, there was hope.

He ran to Jesus and begged for his son's return. Then Jesus spoke some words that Sam would never forget:

"Curtains and yellow,
Seats are red,
You have been faithful,
But your son is dead."

Sam burst into tears, and held a memorial service for young Snapplewock. It was one hell of a party! There was punch AND Chinese food! After this amazing party, Sam got over the loss of his son ( who was, frankly, a bit of a twit), and went into civil partnership with Jesus.