Little Chay Chay

Little Chay Chay was scolded rotten from the cold air whipping at his face.

“I wonder where this wicked wind comes from?” He asked Toothy.

“I’d reckon it be from a million different places, Chay Chay” Answered Toothy

“I can always rely on your cryptic responses to give me no satisfaction. Not only do I not receive no satisfaction, I am actually offended by their insincerity.”

“Little Chay Chay, I am dragged out of my slumber to help you search for a penny you lost on a pointless walk through a boggy field, and you insult my integrity, shame on you.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it a boggy field, it was more of a marsh, and those shoes your wearing don’t seem quite suitable for tour task at hand.” Little Chay Chay began laughing. “And what is this nonsense I hear of integrity, you lye lower than a snake for the whole year round.”

“I suppose it’s my fault that I happened upon a crippling heroin addiction and was rendered malignant by society.” Pouted Toothy.

“Yes, it is your fault. You are weak.” Shot Little Chay Chay.

“I WILL TURN RIGHT AROUND AND PUT AN END TO THIS FRUITLESS ENDEAVOUR.” Cried toothy

“You may very well turn around, toothy, but you shall receive none of the high grade heroin I’ve been keeping under my mattress for a special occasion.”

“What?” Toothy’s hollow eyes grew envious.

Little Chay Chay began to smirk.

“That’s right, I’ve got some heroin, and I’m going to give it all to you, only if you find this penny for me.”

“I didn’t mean to shout before, I’ll help you, Chay Chay, I always help you.”

“That’s what I thought.”

It was sad really, to see toothy fall for the same trick over and over again, Chay Chay didn't have any heroin stashed away, and if he did, he certainly wouldn’t have given it to Toothy. Chay Chay was the puppet master and toothy the blind subordinate. What made it especially unpleasant was the fact that toothy wasn’t actually addicted to heroin, Little Chay Chay had just made him think that he was as a control mechanism.

“So where is the boggy marsh?”

“I’m taking you there in a minute, but first we have to go and sell some things to Old Joe Blisset.”


“Old Joe Blisset, I can’t go to old Joe Blisset’s place, he’s still mad at me for stealing those beer keg’s from the basement.”
“It’s ok, I’ve fixed it with him, Old Joe Blisset ain’t got no gripe with you anymore, Toothy.”

“Why are you laughing, Chay Chay?”

“I just thought of something funny, that’s all.”

As little Chay Chay pushed open the rusty gate at the entrance to old Joe Blisset’s yard, the pair walked on through to the brewing house at the back. Upon entering, Old Joe Blisset looked up from his work and walked towards his guests, he met little Chay Chay with a firm handshake, then he planted a vicious head-butt straight on the bridge of toothy’s nose.

“I thought you had fixed things Chay Chay.” said Toothy, blood streaming from his nose as he lay on the floor.

“I did, I fixed it for Old Joe to get his own back, it had to happen.”

“Damn straight!” Said Old Joe Blisset

“Curse you, Chay Chay, you lead me to my own demise, what type of friend is it that would partake in such betrayal?” Moaned Toothy.

“The only friend your ever likely to get.” Chay Chay and Old Joe laughed together.
“Anyway, you stole from the man, you deserved it.”

“I only stole the kegs because you told me too.” protested Toothy.

“That was a test, and your bloody nose is testament to the fact that you’ve failed it miserably.”

“Enough fun and games, you two can both leave now, I’m busy with my latest batch.” Old Joe Blisset informed them.

“I have something for sale, I thought you might be interested.” Said Little Chay Chay.
“Do tell.”

Little Chay Chay turned to his bloodied companion and shot him a look of pure malice.

“Take them shoes off right now, toothy.”

“But these are my new shoes Chay Chay.”

“Off!” demanded Little Chay Chay.

A whimpering toothy removed his brand new shoes, and with shaking arms, handed them to little Chay Chay.

“Here, Joe. what would you say is a suitable price for these finely crated foot protection garments?” Asked Chay Chay.

“I’ll give you three pigs livers and a broken hammer from the shed.”

“Can we make it four pigs livers.”

“You drive a hard bargain Chay Chay.”

The pair shook on it as a bewildered and shoeless Toothy, looked on in despair.
After collecting the livers, Little Chay Chay and Toothy walked out from Old joe Blisset’s brewing house and on down the cold country lane.

“You don’t even like pigs liver, Chay Chay. Why would you trade my shoes for such a blatant undesirable?”

“I was bored, I suppose.”

“Well, fool on you little Chay Chay, because I’m not going to be able to help you find your penny without any shoes.”

“There was no penny, Toothy. There was no penny.”

D.A.Cook