Musings of a wallflower

As I sit here veiled in darkness, I wonder if she would ever notice me. I have spent a lifetime portrayed as a wall flower and happy that I could go through this life un-noticed. Finally, I see the world as it should be and she is the center. But alas, I am as a fading shadow in the setting sun. Nothing more than a passing breeze brushing gently across her face. I conceal my heart from her as though a duck gliding upon a pond. Smooth and graceful floating along the still mirrored waters, but underneath my feet are treading as if churning through muddiest of waters.



Wondering if she will ever know how she reminded me that all God's creatures are blessed with wings of angels. Leaving her with my sheepish smile...never wanting to hold her attention for too long in fear that she will see what her mere presence does to my soul. How I've spent a lifetime becoming the rock that all who see me for, comes crumbling down by the mere mention of her name. That her presence can make my palms sweat and my heart can race and skip a beat at virtually the same time. Does she know that all I see is the best in her...I see beyond the human scars brought on by those who do not deserve to utter her name. That the very mention of her name from my lips is like the sweetest fragrance from the most beautiful of flowers.



What a world that we live in that we have to hide behind masks in order to save our own soul from the pain that comes with having a heart. Caring for someone that much, means praying to God for her happiness even at the cost of your own heart. Those who choose to live a life the way God created us means giving up yourself at all costs at times. That believing in the greatness of someone else could mean being left behind. I can only hope that there are those in this world who can live by these principals. That the greatest gift of man is in giving of one’s self for those who he loves and believes in. I can only hope and pray for such a destiny! If that Unicorn does exist for me...I know that God will put that person in my life when the time is right. For to see the world through my eyes is to look in the mirror and see nothing but the beautiful creature that God created in you...no scars...no pain...no mistakes...no regrets. God does not make junk! For the greatest of scars is that of a broken heart....left to fly without wings....left to wander in the darkness. For to reach the top of the mountain, you have to leave the valley and believe you can climb it.