Why We're Naked, Getting Covered In Sawd

In order to really say "I like you,"
I thought of awkward ways to let you know.
Like driving to your house around two
in the morning to watch you gag and throw
up some undercooked pastrami while I
played my grandfather's old harmonica.
Or like the time I rubbed glue on your thigh -
I know you yelled a lot, but it's a
way of saying I'm stuck on you, which
is why I thought I'd handcuff us to each
other, then to my bed. I really did
not foresee the key being out of reach
when the fire alarm went off, but I'm sure
this fireman's seen it plenty of times before.