Big Huge Question Mark ch. 1

Imagine standing at the edge of a cliff, looking out onto the world of endless possibilities, where everything that you could ever want; love, friendship, happiness, was all so close you can almost taste it, you reach out to touch it but all you end up doing is falling off that damn cliff and you’re falling down, down, down.

Welcome to my life, except instead of a cliff, I’m hanging onto a rope in my gym class, terrified that I will actually fall. I hold on as tight as I can, keeping my eyes shut tight so if I do fall I can’t see the humiliation on my face reflected in the eyes of my laughing classmates. I let go of the rope with one hand to try to dry my overly sweaty palm but big mistake, I reach back to the rope and can’t find it again so I open my reluctant eyes and grab the death string. Who ever thought rope climbing was a good idea for gym obviously never had a problem with heights. I can hear snickers coming from below and look down to see my gym teacher practically glaring at me—I have been up here for like ten minutes.

“Come on Freddie just ring the stupid bell!” shouts my best friend, Alice trying to be supportive.

I give it one more try. I reach as far as I can to touch the bell but like the cliff, I fall. Right on my ass. I lay back hoping this is one of those dreams where I walk into school in my underwear and I’ll wake up feeling stupid that I bought into my nightmare. I open my eyes and nope, still in gym and still a loser. People start to crowd around me, making sure I’m okay. Coach looks like she’s about to call for an ambulance so I immediately sit up with my arms in the air and announce, “I’m okay!” Completely embarrassed but what else is new? I look around to see the relief on Alice’s face and a smirk on the faces of everyone else—they’re used to me injuring myself. The coach helps me up and sends some kid to the office to get a packet of ice. Alice and I walk over to the benches while Charlie Patterson takes a whack at climbing the rope. By this point in time Alice is trying to conceal a laugh.

I raise an eyebrow and look at her. “It’s not that funny, you know.” With that she bursts into uncontrollable laughter.

“Yes, it is.” And I begin to laugh, not because I think it’s really that funny but if I can’t laugh at my unavoidable clumsiness, who can? The kid comes back with my bag of ice; he hands it to me and rejoins the group. Mental Note: next time I climb the rope I think I should wear a helmet and pads. Thankfully that will be for another day, the bell rings and Alice and I walk to the locker room to change out of our uniforms. Then Tracey McDurbin cuts me off.

“Hi, Freddie!” He always looks so nervous when he talks to me.

“Hi, Tracey.” I try to be nice to him, he doesn’t have many friends and it never hurts to be nice. Well not all the time. A football came hurling in our direction and hitting me right in the head. I whirled around to see who had hit me. Walking over with his tail between his legs was Noah Rickson.

“Sorry, Freddie. I was aiming for McDurbin here.” He said nudging Tracey in the arm. He then placed his hands on my head as though pretending to be a doctor, examining my bump.
“I saw you fall, are you okay?” Of course he saw me fall, everyone saw me fall.

“I’d be more concerned on whether you’re football hurt me, rather than the fall off that damn rope.” I said pulling my head out of his reach, to see his face.

“I said I was sorry, what more do you want?” he joshed with a smirk.

“Well, I don’t know… maybe for you to stop doing that!” My annoyance with Noah was easily triggered. He was just so irritating, hitting me in the head over and over and over again.

He was still smirking at me. “Hey, it’s not my fault that your head is like a magnet for my ball.” He placed his hands back on my head. I stepped back again, this time tripping over Alice and while falling taking her with me. We started laughing as we normally do when I end up falling.

“You know I think that really is your hidden talent!” He chuckled helping me up, then Alice.

“Not so hidden.” Alice said still laughing.

“Freddie, are you okay?” I’d forgotten Tracey was even standing there.

“Yeah, Tracey, I’m fine. When I spill blood then we have a problem. And look dry as a bone.” I wince, remembering the last time I had an injury. I had slipped in the cafeteria and hit a tray slicing my head open. It took four stitches to make it right. And two bottles of bleach to get rid of the stain.

“Well, I’ll see you later Freddie.” And Tracey walked away from us towards the boy’s locker room. Noah watched Tracey walk away and coughed something that sounded like loser. He turned to me resting his elbow on my shoulder.

“Why do you bother being so nice to him?” he looked at me, his face oddly curious.

“Why do you bother being so mean?” I retorted. It always bugged me, how mean people had to be towards each other. I mean the world is screwed up enough without sweet kids like Tracey constantly being picked on.

“No, seriously why are you so nice to him?” He looked down at me trying to—I could only assume—read my mind.

“Why does it matter?” I asked. Seriously, why did he care if I was nice to someone or not.

“Why do you keep answering my question with an other question?” he requested now just being ridiculous. Again, my irritation towards Noah was boiling over, for being so hot, why oh why did he have to get on my nerves.

“When Tracey decides that he is going to rule the world, I know I will be safe from harm because I was I nice to him, unlike jerks like you, who will be the first to go.”

“Oh come on, Freddie, you can’t think that I’m that big a jerk, after all you still talk to me.” He smiled at me knowingly.

“Well, enough chit-chat I have a class to get to.” I walked into the girl’s locker room with Alice close behind me heels. By the time we were done changing, Alice and I were seriously late for art class. We practically ran across campus. When we walked in Noah, however, was already in his seat, ready to learn. How did he always beat us here? Luckily, we had it in with the Art teacher, so when we were late he gave us an easy time about it.

“Alice, Freddie thank you for joining us.” I sat down in my seat next to Noah and Alice next to me. I placed my backpack under my chair and flipped my hair so it wasn’t stuck under my shirt.

“Sorry, Dad.” I said when he noticed us come in. That’s right my dad is the art teacher. Most of that time that would totally suck, but my dad is pretty cool in the way that he only tells embarrassing stories about when I was a baby like twice a week. Oddly enough though, he is one of my best friends. Since mom left for her “finding herself trip” he’s all I really have. Not that I don’t talk to my mom. I get a call from her once a month telling me she’s in Egypt discovering a long lost tomb, or in Nigeria learning a new tribal dance. As much as I miss her I’m glad she’s doing something for her. The divorce was hard on my parents and they both handled it differently. Both, however, fulfilling their lifelong dreams; Mom moved to Africa and Dad became an Art teacher. In the end, it was great for me, dad is really easy to live with, he doesn’t harass me every time I go out and he doesn’t hover like most parents. He has the same sense of humor I have, so it’s never the case of ‘“dad I was joking.” “No you weren’t.”’ (Well, unless we’re kidding around.)

Today was one of those days in art class were you knew you were going to leave with paint in your hair. We learned the beauty of Splatter Painting and that always gets out of hand.

Dad started walking around to make sure we were all doing it right.

“Now, you all remembered to wear clothes you don’t care about, right?” The class all murmured yeses. In my house there were never any clothes you could possible get too attached to, we were always working on projects in the Brooks household. I even went to prom last year with a paint stained dress. But when he brought up the subject to wearing unimportant clothes it was a bad sign. My dad walked by Noah, Alice and me. I could see the smirk appearing on my dad’s face that was an even worse sign. I, of course, knew what it meant, so I turned to Alice and took my paintbrush painting one big streak down the side of her face.

“So then you don’t care if you get paint on your outfit?” I asked. Alice turned to me with a wicked smile on her face and that was the end of the lesson. Paint started flying everywhere. My dad didn’t bother containing the paint fight after all if it wasn’t for me, he would have been the one to start it. He felt art was more than just painting it was having fun. I turned to Noah to get my earlier aggression out on him. I started flicking my fully loaded brush at him and then he grabbed my arm and with his brush painted a smiley face on my forearm. It was a good thing that art was my last class of the day, it would totally suck to be in another period after this. Not to mention if it wasn’t last period my dad would have never allowed this kind of behavior. The bell rang but the war still continued on. It wasn’t until ten minutes after the bell that people even realized class was over. The fights were fun but I was the one who got suck cleaning up with mess. Thankfully for me Alice always stayed behind to help. So after everyone left, Alice and I got to work. She turned on the tunes and I got the sponges.

“Do you guys want some help?” Noah was leaning against the counter with the sink. Alice and I looked at each other for a second.

“Umm… sure.” I said while grabbing an extra sponge. This was not a normal day for me, first the fact that I only had two clumsy moments in one day (a miracle) and Noah was willing to help clean most of the time he hung out while Alice and I did the real work. My friendship with Noah was a weird one, I’d leaved next to the dude for the first fifteen years of my life and it wasn’t until my dad and I moved into our loft two blocks away that Noah even started talking to me. Sure the guy irritates me to no end but I guess you could say he is one of my best friends. I mean we’ve hang out everyday for the last three years, I’d count that as being at least very close friends if not best. But of course when people ask him, he says we aren’t even friends I’m just his entertainment. Seriously, it’s like if I rolled my eyes anymore they’d be in the back of my head.

After cleaning the uncleanable mess. We headed to Noah’s pride and joy. His four-wheel drive, The Jeep! Wow, so exciting, a car. I just don’t get it. As always Alice and I fight for the front seat. Noah has this stupid rule where you actually have to be the first to touch the car to get shotgun, so of course Alice always gets to sit in the front. But thankfully to school Noah picks me up first, so I get it when the heater is really necessary, early in the morning.

We drive to our normal hang out, the loft. I open the door and we head straight to the kitchen, I grab some sodas while Alice and Noah take their customary seats around the table. I sit down and place the drinks in the middle of the table. They grab their soda of choice and I grab mine. I look to my right to see Alice and look to my left to see Noah. I look back and forth for about two seconds when we all decide to get up and walk upstairs to my “suite” as we call it. Alice immediately heads to my bathroom. I’m sure to get the paint out. She hates having paint in her hair for too long. Noah goes straight for the Xbox and sits down on a beanbag chair. I go for my walk in closet to change out of my clothes. I open the door that is connected to my bathroom.

“Hey, it’s just me.” I call to Alice who is as I predicted in my shower. I walk over to my cabinet and pull out a hairtye; I pull my long dark-brown paint streaked hair into a ponytail and walk back into the closet. I change into jeans and a t-shirt and walk back to see Noah zoning out on a videogame. Again, I just don’t get it. The only reason I have it, is because he gave it to me for Christmas last year. I think he got it just so he could play it when he was over, because honestly he’s over here more than he is at his own house. He has four other siblings and he tends to get lost in the crowd sometimes. His parents are stinking rich though, so he gets a car and an Xbox and a nice big trust fund with he turns twenty-one, but sometimes I can tell that he wants more from them then just money. I wouldn’t really know about having to share my parents I’m an only child and with the divorce and neither of them dating I think it’s going to stay that way.

Noah pauses the game to look up at me. He smiles and I remember why I tolerate him. Sometimes I feel so lucky I have such a good-looking guy friend. Those dimples could make any girl swoon. With his perfectly messy brown hair and dreamy gray/blue eyes, I wonder sometimes why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Than I talk to him and I remember. Instead of going to sit next to him in the beanbag chairs, I turn left and sit down at my editing desk. I pop in a tape labeled Freddie’s second birthday. I’m determined to transfer all of our home movies into DVD format. I’m just about halfway done. Through out my childhood my parents recorded every waking moment of my life. That is until I decided to be behind the camera instead of in front of it.

Alice finally reappears ten minutes later looking fabulous. Wearing of course my clothes. She’s a little shorter than me so she had to roll up my khaki pants. She was wearing a shirt that now that I think about it might be hers after all. She never wore make-up and always manages to look like a supermodel and sometimes I hated her for. It’s not fair that she can look like that in my clothes when I can’t. With her deep chocolate brown eyes and her short black hair not a strained out of place. She sits down next to Noah and starts messing with my guitar. I went through a phase where I thought I was going to be a famous Rockstar. It wasn’t until after my dad bought the guitar and four lessons later that I realized it was a hopeless dream. Alice however picked up on playing all by herself. She even won the battle of the bands last year. She would make a great musician if it weren’t for the fact that her dream was to be a hairstylist. So of course after looking me over for about two seconds, she walked over and started “fixing” my hair. Personally I saw nothing wrong with the simple ponytail but Alice always made sure my hair was a flawless as hers. After she was done French braiding my hair she went back to playing my guitar. Though Alice and I are totally different we are still best friends and have been for who knows how long. I think it started out in the first grade when we all first started to learn about my lack of balance. I tripped and she laughed, then I laughed and POOF, instant friends. Alice was here more then Noah. Not that I mind having her here at all, it’s nice. Like getting to choose a sister that you actually like. I can understand why she likes being at my house; her house isn’t some place she really likes to be at. I mean if I had parents like hers I’d be at a friends house all the time too. Her dad is having an affair with his secretary and her mom drinks a lot. Yet she is one of the happiest people I know.

“Knock, knock,” my dad enters the room, trying to give the appearance of privacy since I had no door.

“Hey, dad.” I turn to see him walking up the stair to the third level, also known as his studio.

“Hey, Mr. Brooks.” Noah says, while still not taking his eyes off the T.V.

“So, kids have you worked on the Wall of Words today?” My dad asks though he already knows the answer. We always wait to do the wall of words with him. We follow him up the stairs into his studio and I turn to my left towards the Wall of Words. Okay so when we first moved into the loft my dad had no idea what he wanted to do for his studio, so he came up with the idea to write on the wall; whether it’s about our day, something random, a favorite quote or just a word to describe how we’re feeling. So there for the Wall of Words. At the end of every month we write something new on the wall. It was really cool of him to let Noah and Alice do it too.

This time is especially cool because it is the first writing of the school year. Dad says at the end of this school year it should be done. Seeing as it’s our senior year I can see why it’s ending here.

I grab my paintbrush and my paint and I walk up to the wall and I put the word Irritated. I look over to see my dad writing down a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson “Love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art.” No need to wonder why he that wrote down. Emerson is his favorite philosopher and when he talks about art, of course my dad is going to want to remember that. My dad then walked downs stairs.

I look over to see Alice is already done. She wrote the word Laughter in bright yellow paint. Well, given all the laughing we’d done today I shouldn’t be surprised.

Now, with Noah I’m expecting something nerdy from him. Last month he put Cars are life, so it’s only a wonder to what he’s writing this time. He’s lying on his stomach on the floor writing as low to the ground as he possible can. Finally he gets up and Alice and I walk over to see what he’s written. I look at the word; it’s so tiny I can barely see it. But finally I can make out the word Curious, now that I was not prepared for.

“What are you Curious about?” Alice asked before I got the chance. We were both eyeing him suspiciously.

He held back a smile. “Well, I’m curious about many things.”

“What are you curious about in particular?” I asked curious about his curiosity.

He paused for a moment, watching me, then replied with “Well, for one when and what is dinner? I’m starving.”

Oh cue his stomach made a gurgling noise. Alice and I giggled at his obvious answer.

“See,” He said pointing to his stomach, “Me, need food, now.”

“Come on Tarzan last go ask the king of the jungle when he’s ordering the pizza.” I turned around and started to follow Noah down the stair, when I had the sudden urge to get a piggyback ride. I jumped on Noah’s back without a word taking him by surprise.

“God, Freddie have you put on some weight, you’re heavy!” He said over doing it on the dramatics. Alice rolled her eyes.

“Am I really? Do you want me to get off?” I asked truly worried I was going to squash him. I started to get off, when he grabbed my legs to stay on.

“No, Freddie. You’re fine. Actually you’re a bit too light. We need to get you a sandwich and fast.” With that he practically ran down the stairs into the kitchen. “Hey, Mr. Brooks when is the pizza getting here?”

“Soon. Noah. Soon.” He said, than he turned around to see I was on Noah’s back and raised an eyebrow. I got off with a laugh. “Aren’t you a little old for piggyback rides?”

“Dad, you’re never too old for that.” I sat down at the table.

“Along with trick or treating.” Alice added and she leaned in to give me a high-five. I went to five her and of course—being me—I missed. Noah started laughing and soda went everywhere.

“Dude, say it don’t spray it.” Alice said while wiping her face with a napkin.

“Sorry.” Noah bent across the table and started whipping Alice’s face for her. “Is that better?”

“Yeah, great Noah.” Alice said sarcastically now cleaning the table.

“Man, Noah, no wonder you don’t have a date to homecoming what girl would go out with you?” I said giving him a hard time. He gave one loud laugh without humor and started cleaning his side of the table.

“I’m not even going.” He said looking down at the table.

“Do you girls have dates, yet?” My dad asked now sitting down at the large square table.

“Alice does.” I crossed my arms across my chest. Note of resentment held in my voice. “She’s going with Charlie Patterson.”

“And I know someone who wants to ask Freddie.” Alice said with a grin. I eyed at her. Really? Who?

“No, there isn’t? Is there? Who?” I looked at my best friend and then at Noah. He was looking at Alice in a I’m going to kill you look. I then looked back at Alice, what did they know that I didn’t?

Alice laughed. “Tracey McDurbin.” I threw my face down onto the table. The guy needed to get a girlfriend that wasn’t me. I mean he’s nice and all but there is no way I’d date him. I peek up to my left to see Noah’s face relaxed with the usual smirk that was reserved for me.

“Ah! No, I don’t even think I’m going to go. I mean no one would seriously be desperate enough to ask Klutzilla. Besides someone needs to keep Noah company.” I said nudging Noah in the arm. The prefect excuse to stay away from the dangers of a high school dance. His smirk changed to a smile.

“Yeah, we can hang out and watch Monty Python reruns.” He already looked excited. Mental Note: Record Monty Python off the BBC channel.

“Sweet than Saturday night you, me and Monty Python.” I tried to high-five him but like before I completely missed his hand. Instead of laughing this time Noah grabbed my wrist and showed me how to properly high-five.

The pizza finally showed up and was devoured in less then a minute. After dinner Noah and Alice left and I was able to start on my homework. I worked on it for about ten minutes and got bored deciding a shower was a good idea. I took my time, letting my mind wander. Imagining being on a movie set and working with my favorite actors. Getting out of the shower I ran to get my towel and wrap it around myself. It was too cold for being the last day of September.