His Last Days

        Age was strongly having its affects on Lloyd Garber.  Arthritis had shown up in his knees five years ago, and now was also beginning to show up in his hands and elbows.  As a result, he was not as mobile as he once was.  His joints were much weaker.  He was less mobile.  Pills were becoming a bigger part of his life, too.  At first, he only had to take one everyday, then two, three, and now four.  He had one for arthritis, one for an enlarged prostrate and two for high blood pressure.  His hearing was only a fraction of what it was, even ten or fifteen years.  He was frustrated by all this.  He was a victim of age, he felt.  At seventy-two, Lloyd felt his life was headed downhill.
         He had been out of work for six years now.  For the last twenty-seven years of his working career, he had been an airport technician.  He started off with grunt, manual work, with tedious hours many days a week, inspecting planes before take-off and the conditions of the runways.  Eventually, he worked his way up to a supervisor position.  The job became much more interesting and his long hours spent became much more worthwhile.  Diligently and happily he worked at this position until, during his sixteenth year, he became promoted to chief technician.  The previous one had retired.  Lloyd loved this job so much.  He felt like he had gotten somewhere in life, finally.  He missed all the excitement from those days.
         Currently, Lloyd found himself residing in his daughter and step son’s house.  He wasn’t there because of financial reasons.  The airport was still sending him checks for half his pay and social security was contributing $430 a month.  The truth was, Lloyd was lonely on his own.  His wife, Martha, had passed away from breast cancer seven years earlier.  The death left Lloyd broken.  He had no one to keep him company. 
         He stayed that way for four years, until he couldn’t take it anymore.  He finally accepted his daughter Susan’s offer to move in.  He put his house on sale and received an offer three weeks later.  Lloyd would now have a new home-a new less lonely home.
         
         Daniel was Lloyd’s grandson.  At sixteen years, he was a junior in high school.  His interests included track and field and playing the guitar.  He had slightly above-average grades, but only sort of cared about school.
         It was Tuesday, March 23.  It was a nice day outside, one of those days with a nice breeze so that it was not overwhelmingly hot.  Daniel went to his friend’s house after school to shoot some hoops.  He came at 5:30, ready to relax and in about an hour have dinner.  He came home and his parents gave him a hug.
         “Hey,” he said.
         “How was school today?” asked his mother.  She always asked this; it was just a way to have a casual conversation, in her mind.
         “Same as usual,” he replied.  Danny was annoyed with the redundancy of this question.  What did his mother think?  That school was going to be some amazing joyride. 
         “I had a test in history today.  Did alright.  Nothing else special.”
         “That’s good.”
         Danny was getting annoyed.  He didn’t want to continue with this useless gibber-jabber too much longer.  If she had something to say, fine.  Otherwise, he wanted to be left alone.  Besides, he was feeling out of it and wanted to go to his room to im some friends.  Maybe even take a nap.  Whatever, it didn’t really matter.  All he needed to do was get his head back in gear.
         “I’m going to head up to my room.  I’m feeling kind of out of it.”
         “Okay…wait a minute.  Are you…high?”  Her eyes glowered.
         “No,” he said with a feigned look of surprise.  He was, but he didn’t want her inquiring about it.  She didn’t expect him to talk to her about it, did she?  He wasn’t going to tell her, “Yea mom I’m really high right now.”
         “I told you.  I’m going to my room.”  The quicker he got to his room, the better. 
         He turned to walk toward his room, but his mother grabbed his shoulder. 
         “Don’t walk away from me like that,” she told him, in a voice that showed Dan she was upset.
         “I know you’re lying to me.”
         Dan tried to show her his innocence face, but to no avail.
         “I know.  This came out in almost a whisper.  “Jim! Come down here quick.  We need to have a talk with our son.”
         Susan informed Jim on the situation.  They lectured him for five minutes.
         “I can’t believe you’d do something like this Dan my boy,” said Jim in a surprisingly calm tone.  “I know you probably don’t want to talk now, but we’ll definitely discuss this sometime later.  Go to your room and stay there.”  This he said sternly.  “Your mother and I need to talk.”
         As Dan turned around, about to ascend the stairs, his mother called him, “Wait! Come back down here.”
         “Empty your pockets.”  Dan was silent.  His face looked expressionless.
         Sensing her son’s reluctance she asked him again, this time slightly louder.
         He emptied his pockets, which contained his cell phone, wallet, and a dime bag of marijuana.
         “Go to your room.  NOW!”
         As Dan exited the room, Lloyd appeared, wondering what all the fuss was about.
         “What’s going on in here?”
         “Your grandson’s been smoking this shit.”  She shows him the bag.
         “We need to get rid of it,” says Jim.
         “I’ll get rid of it,” says Lloyd, somewhat eagerly.
         “Are you sure?”
         “Yes, I’ll handle it.  I promise you.”

         The weather was horrible.  Rain, mixed with some thunder and lightning.
         Dan arrived home earlier than usual.  Upon entering, he was caught by surprise, and this greatly angered him.
         “What the fuck is going on here?”  he muttered to himself.  “They tell me ‘no Danny no, you shouldn’t do that.’  And now this.  I can’t believe it.”
         Ascending the stairs, he becomes more enraged.  His face contorts in anger.
         The hypocrites.  The fucking hypocrites.  They think they can yell at me-
         He slowly creaks open the bathroom door.
         Inconceivably stunned at what he is witnessing, he cries out, “Grandpa.  My grandpa smokes weed.  What the hell?”
         “Hahahahaha.”  Lloyd is overcome by laughter.
         “Gggrandpa.”  His mouth is agape, still completely shocked by the outrageousness of the situation.
         “Hahahahaha.”  His laughter still made him incapable of speaking.
         What’s wrong with my grandpa?
         Danny turns to leave.  Just as Danny opens the door, Lloyd finally breaks from his spell and speaks, “It’s okay Dan.”
         “But bbut why?”
         “I used to do it a lot when I was your age.  Almost everyday.  The school day would end and some friends of mine would all sit together and smoke a joint.  Just like you I-he paused-worked hard to hide it from my parents. One day senior year, I came home just like you and was caught by my parents.  I knew I couldn’t smoke again while I was under their roof.  I didn’t smoke for two years, until I moved out on my own and got a job as a waiter.  I um…wait, what were we talking about?”
         “You’re telling me about how-”
         “Oh yes, that’s right.  So, I started smoking again.  Somehow I maintained the job, even though I would show up to work stoned on occasion.  I continued smoking for a while, until I met Martha.  Eventually, I knew I would marry her.”  He lost his train of thought for a moment, regained it, and continued with his story.  “She caught me one day while I was smoking.  She told me either to stop or she would leave me.  She meant that much to me that I quit.  I hadn’t smoked for almost fifty years, until today.”
         “I still don’t understand.  What made you try it again?”
         It took Lloyd fifteen seconds before he answered.  Everything around him seemed slow and brilliant like he was drifting off into a cloud.
         “I don’t know how much longer I’m going to live, so to hell with it.” 
         “Oh!”  He looked around the room with a stupor.  His eyes were wide open, absorbing the marvelousness of world around him.  He took another hit from the cheap joint he had made.  He passed it to Dan, and he took a hit as well.  They both sat there smoking, until the joint was finished.  They were high, and they were enjoying it.

         When Danny and Susan came home, they were ready to throw a fit. They couldn’t believe their son would rebel against them in such a way.  He didn’t take any effort to hide what he was doing.  The smell of weed filled the household.  Susan could feel her teeth clenching and her fists getting tighter.  Danny was going to pay for this one.  She didn’t know how exactly she would punish him, but she would make sure it was a cruel and devastating punishment.  Together, she and Jim walked up the stairs, livid to the core.
         They opened the door and got quite a shock.  There Danny was, but Lloyd was there also.  What in God’s name is going on here? Susan thought.
         “Danny go to room!  Immediately,” she shouted.
         He left abruptly. 
         Jim was going to stand there quietly.  This was between Susan and her father.  He didn’t want to interfere.
         “What are you doing?  Are you okay?  Do you need help?”
         Lloyd raised his hand in a motion to try and calm her down.  “No.  I’ve been bored with the usual routine of my life.  I wanted to do something different, something that’ll make my last days worth it.”
         “Don’t go saying that.”  Tears began to glimmer in her eyes.  “You’ve still have a few years left.  You’re not-”
         “No.  I don’t know how long I’m going to last.  I’m sorry if this will make it worse, but I’m going to be leaving tomorrow.  I-”
         “No!”  Tears began pouring down her cheeks.  She went to hug him.
         He embraced her, and then continued with what he had to say.  “I’m want to go travel the world for a while, before I go.”
         The tears continued to flow.  “If that’s what you want.”
         “It is.”          
         “Then there’s nothing I can do to stop you.”
         She hugged him again, then went to her husband Jim and hugged him too.  She cried for a few moments more. 

         Lloyd was out on the road, putting Chicago far behind him.  His destination, Las Vegas. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, he thought
         All his life, Lloyd had never once traveled to Las Vegas.  He had thought about going when he was much younger, before he met his wife, Martha.  Now, he was finally going to be there.  It would elude him no more.  Look out Vegas, here Lloyd comes.  A smile formed on his face at this thought.
         The trip was long and tedious.  Miles upon miles of road were stretched before him, surrounded by barren deserts.  No sign of life around for miles, except for the few cars that passed on the other side of the road.  The heat was rigid; you could even see the waves of heat on the horizon.  Luckily, Lloyd was sitting comfortably in his car with air-conditioning and some bottles of water to quench his thirst. 
         By nightfall, Lloyd was able to find a hotel, though it was no easy task.  His eyes were sinking.  His body ached beckoning for sleep.  He paid the $89 fee for the night and parked right outside his room.  The bed was ready-made and the sheets were tucked.  Eagerly, he climbed on the bed, pulled the blankets, over him, and awaited a well-needed sleep.  He stretched and yawned, then found a comfortable position to rest him.  Sleep came over him within minutes.  Dreams occupied his mind for the next eight and half hours, until he awoke the next morning. 
         Of course, Lloyd was not going to drive all the way there without taking in some of the sights.  The splendor and beauty of the world around him could not go unnoticed. 
         The Arizona skyline conveyed a radiant beauty in the sunset.  Hours upon hours, Lloyd had spent behind the wheel.  At least he had this, one of nature’s marvels, to keep him going through his long trip.  He pulled to the side of the road and immersed himself into all of the vibrant colors above.  The pinks, the oranges, the grays, the yellows.  All of them were a spectacle to his eyes.  He sat for an hour, truly consumed by this extraordinary sight.  As sunset was starting to fade, and nighttime began to approach, he felt it was time to continue his journey.  He was completely refreshed, like he had awaken from the most peaceful of sleeps. 
         Somehow, Lloyd lasted until 3 in the morning, much later than his usual bedtime.  He didn’t even bother looking for a hotel; he knew sleep would befall him, even here in his car.  He dream of his destination, the destination he hoped to reach before the day’s end.
         
         The lights shined radiantly into the sky, all night long.  He was here.  He had made it.  At 8:49 p.m., March 27, he was finally in Las Vegas. 
         A few days before, he was able to make a hotel reservation for the MGM Grand Hotel.  He had booked a premiere suite, at $289.99.  It was one of the more expensive rooms, but Lloyd wanted to make sure it was the best Vegas experience he could get.  He brought his baggage into the room, observing all the fancy furnishings surrounding him.  He quickly jumped into his bed, taking a well-deserved nap.  He would need all his energy for the night-life. 
         At 10:07, Lloyd woke, with a new abundance of energy.  That was the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in. 
         He took the elevator down to the ground floor.  The air smelled of food, alcohol, and tobacco.  Casinos filled the ground floor; you could fit whole houses in the casino areas.  The eloquent design made it a hearty staple for tourists and locals alike, as they did not want to leave the marvelously adorned quarters.  There were hundreds of slot-machines and poker tables.  You could find any poker game, blackjack, texas-hold-em, Chicago, seven-card stud, baseball…anything you could name.  Lloyd took a seat at one of the blackjack tables, a massive grin on his face.  He had just made a withdrawal from a nearby ATM machine.  $10,000, a good portion of his savings. 
         Lloyd sat there at that table with an uncanny determination.  He was going to win big.  He knew it.  The first hand was dealt and Lloyd looked at his cards, a jack and an ace.  A winner already…
         The crowd changed many times over as Lloyd gambled away the night.  He could feel the stiffness in his leg and rear, but would not let that distract him.  I’m going to win big! he repeated over and over in his head.  And in fact, he was doing just that.  Confidence stayed with him the entire night.  He ordered his second vodka martini shaken not stirred, just like James Bond always had…
         By 3:37 Lloyd decided to call it quits.  His total in chips was slightly over $100,000, over ten times what he had started out with.  He told the dealer he was going to call it a night, and the dealer showed him where he could cash his chips.  After Lloyd cash his chips, and had the money deposited in his banking he let out a big yawn.  Even though he was tired, Lloyd had no desire for sleep.  The night was still young…
         The lights of Las Vegas shined bright, even at almost four o’clock in the morning.  It gave the tourist the illusion that it was never truly nighttime.  Lloyd wanted some fresh air, so he walked around the block.  Along the way, he ran into a stranger, dressed in a blue suit, with hair down to his shoulders.  The man approached Lloyd and spoke.
         “You looking for a good time, old man?”
         Lloyd didn’t answer.  Obviously, he realized this man was a pimp.  He started to walk away, when the pimp questioned him again.
         “Are you sure you don‘t want a good time, old man?”
         To his surprise, Lloyd actually stopped.  He was actually considering taking the man’s offer.  He mulled it over in his brain for fifteen seconds.  He was going to do it.
         “Give me the best girl you have.”
         “Alright, the old man’s a player.  That’ll cost you $275 for the whole night.  You could do whatever you want to her.  I’ll need a $100 upfront.”
         Lloyd paid the man and told him his hotel and room number when the man asked.  “She’ll come knockin’ in twenty minutes.  Get ready,” the pimp said. 
         On his way back to hotel, a police car passed.  However, he wasn’t going to let that change his mind.  It would be his first time in over seven years.

         “I’m sorry, if I’m too old for you?”  Lloyd said as he opened the door to his room.
         “No, it’s okay.  I’ve fucked an old buck like yourself before.”
         She was quite a sight.  Her body was amazing.  She looked absolutely gorgeous, standing there in his room in only her bra and panties.  And Lloyd was going to have her.
         I know I should feel like a hypocrite-I’ve always thought prostitution was wrong and immoral-but I don‘t.  I guess it’s because I want to make something of my life before I die.  I want it to be all that it can be, all I could have ever imagine.  I want to go out sayin’ I’ve lived.  Shoot, does that make me a bad person?  I hope it doesn’t.  Does that make me a bad person sayin’ that I want to have lived, truly lived before I die?  I think it shouldn’t.
         She entered the bed, Lloyd awaiting eagerly, waiting to give her body to him.  They began with some foreplay (Lloyd had taken some Viagra before she came in.  Luckily, he had thought to pack that), and eventually they were both completely nude.  The rest of the night was an experience Lloyd was never going to forget.     

         Lloyd had finally had his night in Vegas, and boy was it sure remarkable.  He hadn’t woken up this late since he was a teenager.  It was 2:30 in the afternoon and his he was just beginning to wake up.  As Lloyd was taking a shower, he thought about the next part of his journey.
         I need to go to someplace beautiful, like Italy or France, where there any many magnificent structures and museums and churches, filled with incredible beauty.  Someplace that will make me open my mouth and stare in amazement.  I’ll go to the airport today and buy a ticket.
         Since Lloyd had been working most of his life, he had only twice seen what the world was like outside of this country.  He had been to Germany, to visit some relatives who were still there, and he went to New Zealand for his honeymoon.  Other than that, he had spent his whole life contained in the United States of America.  The time was now, to venture out once again.
         He drove eagerly to the airport.  However, this did not last.  On his drive to the airport, he began to feel a pain in his side.  He didn’t know how much longer his joyride was going to last.  He could feel the pangs of death creeping closer.  Still, he would keep to the promise to himself.  He wouldn’t let a little pain stop him from having fun. 
         The drive to airport was much harder than he thought it would be, with the newfound ailment; his arthritis was beginning to act up more so than it ever had before.  His knees ached worse.  But still, he would make it to the airport, and then to wherever he was headed, wherever that may be.
         The arrival did much to change Lloyd’s mood.  He felt more upbeat, more ready for the task of flying.  He walked up to the help desk, hoping desperately he would be able to be boarding a plane soon.
         “Sorry sir there’s no planes leaving for Italy until tomorrow,” she told him with a blank expression. 
         “Can you try France for me?”
         Her face showed surprise as he suddenly changed his destination.  The sound of the keys clanged under her fast fingers.
         “Nothing there until tomorrow either.”
         “Well-” Lloyd began and then broke off.  Not another pain.  The pain in his side began to irritate him and he slowly moved his fingers to his side. 
         “Thank you for your help,” he said as he started to walk away.
         “Are you okay?” she called in concerned.
         “Yes I’ll be fine.
         He turned around and let out a sigh.  A bench in the corner beckoned him.  He needed some rest.
         As he sat there, he closed his eyes for a short moment.  However, he faded into an unconscious state.  Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
         “Are you alright?” the security guard asked.
         “Yes.  I’m fine.  I can’t believe I fell asleep there.”
         “It’s fine.  Just  wanted to make sure you were okay.
         “Thanks.”
         “Sure thing, sir.”
         He stood up and began to walk to his car.  A thought had occurred to him while he lied napping.  It was something he had wanted to do for a long time.  He remembered watching his father do it when he was only eight years old.  It never ceased to amaze him, how free his father was.  He wanted to have that feeling too.  As fast as his worn legs would allow him, he strode towards his car.  He was so glad he had thought of it.

         “Are you sure you want to-”          
         “Yes, I’m sure.”
         “And there’s no convincing you otherwise?”
         “No.”
         “All right,” said the man with medium sized brown hair, whose name Lloyd thought was Jim, but he couldn’t recall now.
         Lloyd had ended up at a boat rental shop-it had taken him hours to drive here from the airport-exhausted but excited.  He had asked the man if he could rent a water skis and have someone drive the boat while he was gliding across the ocean.  Of course, the man looked him like he was crazy.  It was a hell of a surprise to see and old fellow asking for something like that.  He had never seen something like this before.  Well, if the old man wants to do it, he figured, what could he do to stop him.
         Lloyd was at the ready.  A soft wind collided with his, making him feel slightly more awake and more calm.  Still, his heart was pumping fast, but it would only get faster when he was actually out there with the waves, he mused.  His pangs in his knees and his side fluttered away, if only for the moment.  He gave the thumbs up to the man from the boathouse rentals (he was nice enough to drive Lloyd himself), and off they went. 
         Lloyd could see the clear mystic blue beneath his feet.  Its beauty tremendous and far-reaching, causing him to gaze at it wonder.  He looked behind and could see small waves coming from the back of the skis.  He knew he was traveling fast, but it didn’t seem that way at all.  He was so at peace, that it took over every fiber of his being.  Even when he became airborne for a few seconds after colliding with an incoming wave, he remained calm.  Now he knew what his father had felt, those long years ago.  He was free from the pressures of life, everyday stresses, routine and monotony.  Just free.  All that existed were him and the water.
         After half an hour, the boat returned back to shore.  Lloyd was alive inside.  He hadn’t felt this happy since his wife had.  He felt like he was a kid again, like age was not a tediously tolling away at his life.  He paid the man gratefully and began to leave, when all of a sudden, he fell over and collapsed onto the floor.
         
         His eyes began to slowly open.  He could see mostly white of the walls.  He could see people dressed in blue with white cups covering their mouths.  Wait… It now dawned upon him that he was in a hospital.  He felt weak, very weak.  Too weak to really move.  Too weak to say anything.  His eyes closed again.  He wanted to smile, oh how he desperately wanted to smile.  These last few days had been amazing.  They had been simply spectacular.  They reminded why life was worth living.  He could feel his body slowly making way for death.  He accepted it.  His body fell back into unconsciousness, though he was not dead yet.
         
         Susan picked up the phone and took in the tragic news.  Her eyes began to water.  “Jim! Dan!” she uttered as loud as she could.  Tears were now flowing down her cheeks.  Jim was at her side, shortly followed by Dan. 
         “What’s wrong?” Jim asked, truly concerned.
         “It’s my father.  He’s…in the hospital.  He’s had…”  This part was very hard for her to say.  “a heart attack.  He’s still alive, but the doctors don’t know how long he’s going to make it.”
         Jim and Dan both embraced.  They held her in their arms for a few minutes, until the tears started to slightly fade.
         “We have to go,” she ordered.  “We have to go now.”
         They all left the house hurriedly.  No one talked on the drive for the airport.  There was nothing they could say.  Susan hoped that she could get there before he died, just so she could look into his eyes one last time. 
         The plane arrived in San Diego Airport a few hours later.  They rushed frantically to hail a cab to the hospital. 
         When they got there, Lloyd was lying on his bed with his eyes closed.  They had feared the worst, but the doctors said he was still alive, but only by a thread.  Susan ran up to him and grabbed his hand kissing it.  “I love you,” she said.  Her husband and son both joined her.  They stood there for a while they weren’t sure how long it was.  Lloyd never once opened his eyes, but eventually he became flat-lined and was pronounced dead.  Susan, Dan and Jim all cried together.  They had lost a truly great man in their life.