Mankind

         Its eerie, in the most beautiful kind of way.  How the ocean and night sky meld.  How the nautical horizon fades as two black entities meet.  This darkness in front of me only reminds me of the glow from the buildings to my back. Standing on the shore, this shore, between the darkness and light strikes the thought of life.  I stand in this grey area, looking towards the sea, curious what lies in the darkness just beyond the breaking waves.  Is all as it seems?  Is the darkness bad? Is the glow behind me good? Where does this leave me standing?
         I ponder these questions as I am brushed by air and earth.  A wind parallel to the shore blows from my left, carrying with it intertwining streams of sand like veins down an arm. With every grain of sand that passes so does a second of life. The wind and life, both force of nature in which no one has control over.  These grains, these memories, flow past me.  Blown from the past, these memories push towards me, towards the future.  These memories and experiences are of great importance but staring into the wind only fills my face with sand and clouds my mind, blinding me.  It is only when facing forward that these grains of experience at my back can push you ahead, with dark and light at either side. I know this, now. Yet I stand facing the dark sea.          
         I am stuck in a moment, or what I perceive as a moment, as life whips past me with the sand.  I am stuck now, but as always  will break free again. Until then  I stare into the waters, waiting for them to speak. “How can I know what’s out there?” I inquire. As if breaking waves were lips and tongue, I am answered and realize that I won’t. I won’t know what’s beyond those waves, not fully at least. I may sail into these waters for short durations, but all vessels must come back ashore.  I am one with these sands and forever will be. I may live in the glow of buildings and swim in the shallow waters of the sea but I will forever walk these sands of grey, as it is human nature.  To dwell in one and venture into another is my way. Never truly able to understand either but always curious for more, for what will never be known due to flaw.
         I am flawed, therefore I am human.  Mistakes are made, regretted and cherished.  Life for me is impossible without the presence of mistakes.  The decisions, good and bad, pull me between the light and dark and keep me in the grey where life resides.  A machine with no flaws, no hesitations and no mistakes is just that. A vessel of efficiency that flows ahead of the sands, knowing what is behind but never really remembering. This I am not and should never strive to be.  It is this that makes me alive, what makes me flawed and driving for perfection.
          I live in cities under the glow of street lamps and the light of buildings. It is the light which is the true evil.  The illuminated concrete structures that give the ability for me to shine. To, if I choose, show me for what I am capable of.  This is why I stare into the sea. The darkness is but a goal, a faceless perfection that cant be achieved but that shall always be strived for.  It is the dark that keeps me moving ahead, that keeps me in grey sands.