Please, Keep me Calm....

Everyday is the same.
Raging words of hate and anger.
When will this circle of hurt end?

Sitting there, he is just staring at me
breathing heavy as shit,
screaming and yelling.

He isn’t stopping this time.
The closer he comes to me,
the more I begin to tremble.

Sitting here writing
is pissing him off even more.
But, If I stop, its over…

.I will hit him and he will kill me.
Danger is in the future
and I am scared to let go.

What do I do when I know
that the part of him is fear is back.
The part where I know
that if the Red is visible,
there will be no stopping him.

Never has he physically hurt me,
but verbal abuse,
is just as hurtful
and sometimes worse.

To see the look in his eyes
when he has something in his mind
scares me to death.
It is a look of pure wild,
uncontrollable Evil.

What do I do?
I have no idea where to go from here.
Do I just let go of the past and step forward ,
into the uncertain future that awaits me?

If I stay will I end up dead,
for pushing him to the limit.
Is that a gamble I am willing to take?
I do not know.

Change doesn’t happen over night.
Pushing and pushing me to the limit,
my end is near.

Help me understand ,
what I am to do in this situation.
Both sides believe that theirs is right.

Both sides are the easy way
and the way I supposedly will be happy.
Well, both paths don’t seem too welcoming to me.

What the hell is going on these days,
to let me get to this state.
How do I escape these feeling I have.

I might as well jump off the cliff
and let the fall take control.
I am so ready to let go.
Just go, run away. Far ,far away.
So help me please.

Help me get this done.
Help me find my way
and let me go on with my life.
Whatever that may be.

How many times must I do the same thing,
over and over again.
How many times will it take,
before I can see what’s right in front of me.

Help me to determine
when enough is enough.
And when I will be safe from him
and myself…..

Because at this point,
I feel like just going.
Kill me is my only thought.
Fuming and raging,
he wont stop this time.

I am scared and what do I do?
Countless times we have been
to this broken place
of shattered tears and agony.
When will it end?

It takes a huge leap to stay and stick it out.
But, it takes an even bigger leap,
to be the one to leave.


Please help me take this leap
and get away before it is too late.
Death is not an option,
That I am willing to take.

Save me from this place
and I will be forever in your debt.
Give me strength…..
Here I go, please keep me calm….