What is This?

Lajgyytym

         If a major family emergency had you in the thick of it, what exactly would you do?

         That's a question I've been asking myself a lot over the past couple of days. Over the course of less than 24 hours, my sister had inexplicably gone into cardiac arrest (despite having no history of heart problems in this family), rushed to the critical care ward, and somehow my mom goes and blames me for it. Sure, I don't exactly like her all too well (and vice versa), but that doesn't mean I don't care for her. Well, given the circumstances and what she's done for me over the years (not jack squat)... nah, I don't really care for her. Pretty sure that she doesn't care for me, too. Ah, well, I don't really care about her at the moment; I'm actually scared out of my wits for the sake of my sister, and my other one is as well. Okay, for the sake of simplicity, I'll clarify: the one who was thisclose to dying is Holly, and the one who's sleeping on my shoulder in Holly's new, regular care room is Janice. I don't feel like telling you my name right now; I think that telling you guys their names would help out a lot. It does in most circumstances.

         I can feel Janice moving her head, even though I'm almost dealing with my subconscious by now. Speaking of which... ah, crap. Here we go again...



Problems: You Have Them, Subconscious

         "Hehe, he has no penis!"

         Luckily, the child who said that runs off quickly, before I register and feel compelled to drop-kick him for a field goal. Or "it"; I really can't tell who is who right now. I've just entered the dream. My blurry vision slowly dissipates, and I can make out objects in the room now. I look at my hands; problem is, they aren't my hands. They feel as if they're a puppet's, and they're a dark burnt orange. Also, they're rather stubby, and there are only four fingers on each hands. I get up, and when I look in the mirror, I ironically continue on; I'm not myself anymore. In this dream, I will be taking the role of Ernie, of Sesame Street fame. Which makes no sense. I don't think America's liberal enough to have kids discussing penises openly on television... or the lack thereof. Then again, this is my subconscious we're talking about. It has problems.

         And so, I/Ernie enter the main room of the house (it doesn't even LOOK like the way it does in the show), where Bert is sitting at a coffee table, eating a donut and firing a pistol at the flat-screen TV. The weird thing about that (you thought it was ALL weird, didn't you?) is, the bullets, rather than breaking the TV, ricochet off of the screen and manage to kill the dog. Fine by me. I don't really like dogs.

         Of course, this is where Bert randomly transforms into a penguin that explodes into a bunch of tiny bits. He ruined Ernie's shirt; now it's all covered in... yellow blood. Yes. You heard me. Yellow. Then, Ernie comes out of the freaking kitchen. Wait, wasn't he just blown to bits after randomly turning into a penguin? And there's the kid, right behind him. I/Ernie didn't even know I/he had a gun, and yet, here he is, whipping it out of his shorts and blowing the kid's head off. No, not clean off. It turns into a face of Jesus. It then asks me a question very important to my exploits: "Hey, man. Wanna smoke weed?"

         It's official. I'm now an emotionally scarred person. (As if I wasn't before...)

         Bert then shoots a random bird. I don't know what's going on, but suddenly Jesus pulls out some myrrh and turns it into a banana, which he eats. He/the child explodes, leaving nothing but bits on the ground. Well, a bit. It seems the rest vanished into thin air.

         That, my friend, is when the psychotic, apple-looking... thing comes out of the ground. Its distorted, literally upside-down face with a separate mouth brings us in, as if we were metal and it was a magnet. It eventually shows that it possesses extremely sharp teeth in it's hole of a mouth. And we just sit there, smiling as it begins the process of mechanical digestion...



An Inquiry



         I awake from my surreal nightmare-ish event, only to find Janice sobbing right beside me. Only now just waking up, I have to ask.

         "Janice? What happened?", I query, hoping that she didn't have the same dream as I did for a second time. She just continues sobbing. I welcome her into my arms, and she doesn't hesitate for the opportunity. I practically coo her back to sleep. After a while, the sobbing slowly stops, and she begins falling back asleep. I do as well. Before I do, however, I have to ask: what the hell was that all about?