Not Sure Why

Not Sure Why
Written by S. E. Hicks

“There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why, I dream of things that  never were, and ask why not.” Robert Kennedy said these eloquent words.  It is a worthy creed. I have a different take on the ubiquitous question of why….. I’m not sure why. There are a lot of certainties in life, death, taxes and the like. I’m not sure why… about a whole lot of things.

For example:

I’m not sure why I don’t catch fish when I know they are biting because everyone else in the boat is catching them.

I’m not sure why I thought I could in the first place.

I’m not sure why I did.

I’m not sure, why did I?

I’m not sure why, I’m sure I did .

I’m not sure why I didn’t.

I’m not sure why I’m sure I didn’t.

I’m not sure why some one else said I did when actually,  I didn’t.

I’m not sure why if I did why it is any business of yours.

I’m not sure why but I think they should consider the possibility that they are not sure, did didn’t do it.

I’m not sure why every time I look into my wife’s eyes it is better than the first time but every time something goes wrong in our lives it is my fault and I feel like I‘ve been poked in the eye.

I’m not sure why when you go about looking for something you have lost, you can’t find it but when your not looking for it, there it is right where you left it and it is now…. in…. the…. way.

I’m not sure why if God created man in his image,  why we are all so different and mostly ugly.

I’m not sure why I have so many flat tires.

I’m not sure why cheap tires are so expensive.

I’m not sure why no mater how much money I bring home somebody complains about it.

I’m not sure why when I try to answer a question my wife has put forth to me, why another question is ask before I can answer  and when I do answer the first question, why she didn’t hear nor understand my  answer to her question nor remember her question but still wants an answer to the second question… and on and on ….and on it goes.

I not sure why I I I I I I I  stutter so much.

I’m not sure why there are so many living things that bite.

I’m not sure why I always get bit and the other guy doesn’t.

I’m not sure why I ask my wife, how her day was? When she tells me, I realize I didn’t really want to know… all that. Every time, every day for the past thirty years!

I’m not sure why I just got slapped.

I’m not sure why the car fails to start when I am dressed in a tux or a dress suit on the way to a wedding or  some important meeting. It just started a few minutes ago!

I’m not sure why women pee so much.

I’m not sure why the pie is in my lap.

I’m not sure why but it is not for me to question nor attempt to answer.

I’m not sure why thou shall not kill, yet thou shall take an eye for and eye. Thank God there is a church.

I’m not sure why they say turn the other cheek. Which cheek are they talking about anyway?

I’m not sure why they are who they is.

I’m not sure why they is who they are.

I’m not sure why they is.

I’m not sure, why are they?

I’m not sure why, any who.

I’m not sure why but they better not read this. They might take it wrong.

I’m not sure why little smart people call big dumb people stupid.

I’m not sure why people say “Hello” when they are really thinking, hell no!”

I’m not sure why when I wake up I’m tried, when I go bed I’m not, when I am tired and go to bed I can’t sleep and why I wake up early when I can sleep in.

I’m not sure why I take sleeping pills and drink coffee.

I’m not sure why every time I shoot and field dress a deer, I puke and gag. Every time for the last twenty five deer.

I’m not sure why my wife throws a fit when I clog the toilet……She fed me….. I use the plunger. She’s mad none the less.

I’m not sure why I didn’t get any dinner tonight.

I’m not sure why people rake leaves on a windy day.

I’m not sure why deaf people go to rock concerts in the rain.

I’m not sure why you have to jack up your wife’s car to change a tire but you better not jack with her car!

I’m not sure why women wear such revealing outfits then complain because we men gawk at them.

I’m not sure why but I would have been better off  having not written that.

I’m not sure why I  mentioned it in the first place.

I’m not sure why, should I have not written that?

I’m not sure why I should not write why not instead.

I’m not sure why but why not.

I’m not sure why.

I’m not sure why she just hit me.

I’m not sure why, but…. it is becoming more clear to me.

I’m not sure why but I’m quite sure I better start running.

I’m not sure why some women can’t smell their own farts nor hear them and men are admittedly quite proud to claim theirs.

I’m not sure why but I should have run faster

I’m not sure why but I think I know why.

I’m not sure why people wash their car before it rains.

I’m not sure why people can’t see past their nose.

I’m not sure why people don’t talk to each other in the elevator and when the one rare person does break the ice they won’t shut up.

I’m not sure why people wash their car when the streets are still wet.

I’m not sure why people can’t wait for the light of day.

I’m not sure why,  because.

I’m not sure why but I should  probably leave because alone.

I’m not sure why but if I do leave because alone you might some how feel cheated,  some how.

I’m not sure why, because it is just better that we don’t go into it.

I’m not sure why. Because you brought it up! There’s that word again.

I’m not sure why but because might be another book.

I’m not sure why self esteem isn’t the goal for all teachers and coaches of youth.

I’m not sure why there are 2600 Christian denominations all claiming the “Truth “ is only found though their better way of prayer.

I’m not sure why but I doubt He intended it to be thus.

I’m not sure why people with poor skills and high blood pressure play golf and poker.

I’m not sure why any body thinks OJ didn’t do it.

I’m not sure why Tiger Woods is not secretly worshiped by every single man on the planet, because  married guys certainly can’t.

I’m not sure why when my left foot stinks,  my right foot doesn’t, and why my right pit stinks before my left pit does.

I’m not sure why I thought that would throw her off the previous subject.

I’m not sure why the chicken crossed the road. After all those jokes I still don’t know.

I’m not sure why doctors schedule appointments. They never keep them. In a relative sense, my time is much more important than theirs. Dog gone it man, I’m the freaking customer!

I’m not sure why there is an it.

I’m not sure why we are so concerned  about it.

I’m not sure why it is worth arguing about.

I’m not sure why it is not.

I’m not sure why arguing about it is worth it……not.

I’m not sure why it is worth it.

I’m not sure why I ever got started with it. The arguing about it that is.

I’m not sure why I don’t  just let it, be.

I’m not sure why but I better not be concerned about be.

I’m not sure why but I guess I better not be.

I’m not sure why if man has walked on the earth for 100,000 years, why only now do we have a world economy based on oil. And it is so bad in every way!

I’m not sure why if man has walked on the earth for 5,000 years, why only now do we have a world economy based on oil. And it is so bad in every way!

I’m not sure why we continue to ruin our soil, our water, and our air. No body likes it, why do we still do it?

I’m not sure why  but we are all just really so stupid. About that.

I’m not sure why Christendom is so fragmented.

I’m not sure why we continue to elect double talking liars to run the country.

I’m not sure why politicians think they need to lie in order to be elected.

I’m not sure why they think,  who they think they are.

I’m not sure why who they think they are, are.

I’m not sure why who they think they are, bother to think.

I’m not sure why I bother to think about who they are.

I’m not sure why who they think they are say,  who do they think they are.

I’m not sure why dogs smell each other’s butt.

I’m not sure why African American men look so much better in a hat than a white dude does. Same for women.

I’m not sure why one fingernail grows faster than all the rest. And  yet it is never the same one but there is always one.

I’m not sure why at one time I wore bellbottom jeans  and soon after  purchased  a leisure suit.

I’m not sure why I have a three inch hair that grows out the top of my left ear.

I’m not sure why when you go to the trouble of wiping yourself clean you still have skids marks.

I’m not sure why colored underwear didn’t come around before Michael Jordon.

I’m not sure why or if Native Americans did or didn’t have skid marks on their loin cloths.

I’m not sure why some one didn’t check.

I “m not sure why they would have.

I’m not sure why our government makes poor people pay  tax.

I’m not sure why but our government has skid marks.

I’m not sure why or what happened to the great American western  television show. Where is Matt Dillon of yester year.

I’m not sure why I care but what happened to Mork?

I’m not sure why Waldo is and I certainly don’t care where he is.

I’m not sure why we straightened out all the rivers and streams.

I’m not sure why the haves are fat and eat all they want, want more than they need and the have not are skinny and eat less than they need and want very little.

I’m not sure why the have not suffer the haves.

I’m not sure why Hunger!

I’m not sure why we fish out our resources.

I’m not sure why most people who don’t eat fish care so little about fish.

I’m not sure why people who do eat fish don’t care enough about fish. In general.

I’m not sure why poachers don’t get the death penalty, thrown to the loins so to speak. That would stop it.

I’m not sure why if you are just going to release it why catch it just to look at.

I’m not sure why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west and not rise in the north and set in the south. Wouldn’t that be weird, given how the earth rotates …the  time considerations?

I’m not sure why but wouldn’t that really mess up, your day?

I’m not sure why but thinking about stuff  like that maybe why my sleep is ………………all ………….messed up.

I’m not sure why we spend all that money on space travel when we can’t go fast enough or live long enough
to get anywhere really interesting.

I’m not sure why some boogers are wet and others dry.

I’m not sure why right is right and left is left. It could be the other way around.

I’m not sure why we are fertilizing the oceans.

I’m not sure why I couldn’t hit a curve ball.

I’m not sure why there is not a standard  methodology for giving directions.

I’m not sure why I have been referred to as “The Little Prince.”

I’m not sure why they called a pass play when a running play would have worked better.

I’m not sure why it is difficult to determine the relative merit of the two alternative perspectives.

I’m not sure why if opposing geometric energies are suspended in a vacuum, trapped in a quadrilateral dimension of time the resulting forces…. do what to my wife‘s menstrual cycle?

I’m not sure why my wife is suddenly thumbing thru the A section of the yellow pages.

I’m not sure why people have to sit at a red light burning gas and time, when there is no traffic in sight.

I’m not sure why or what made bottled water more expensive than gasoline.

I’m not sure why but I think it was a who.

I’m not sure why  it is oil and lithium and not terrorism.

I’m not sure why but again I think it was a who.

I’m not sure why I didn’t let the dog out.

I’m not sure why they called him out when he was….OBVIOUSLY SAFE!

I’m not sure why but I’m not going to eat any more ball park hotdogs or buy eight dollar bottles of beer.

I’m not sure why, next year I’ll change my season tickets to the upper deck.

I’m not sure why I thought I had season tickets.

I’m not sure why who ever let the cat out of the bag, did.

I’m not sure why or who put the cat in the bag in the first place.  How did they do it?

I’m not sure why we don’t build all homes from dirt and leave the trees alone.

I’m not sure why when your done peeing and you shake it dry you still dribble in your shorts.

I’m not sure why all the cows must be milked before work begins and why after the work is done the cows still have to be milked.

I’m not sure why you pay a lawyer $500 in order to avoid paying  the court  a $500 fine that you end up paying anyway.

I’m not sure why but there are a lot of good lawyer jokes.

I’m not sure why or what happened to my tools once the kids came.

I’m not sure why my wife puts things down the disposal that breaks and clogs the thing time and time again, when there’s a trash barrel at her feet!

I’m not sure why I wrote that. There’s going to be trouble, there goes two of my favorite cd‘s.

I’m not sure why I wrote this.

I’m not sure why I wrote that.

I’m not sure why I wrote any of this or that, especially this.

I’m not sure why this got ………….all mixed up with that.

I’m not sure why I ever thought I could possibly be remotely sure of this or that.

I’m not sure why I’m sure when I’m quite sure that I’m not .

I’m not sure why but I better stop this.

I’m not sure why but I can’t.

I am sure, that the one thing I’m sure of is that I’m not sure of why I‘m not sure.