An end-rhyme written for and about my dear late uncle and the Native American Church. |
Bring us together Keep me from falling apart “Put your belief in that fireplace, Lay all your sins at the Heart” I sit a part of that circle, Feeling all eyes crushing on me The heat is unbearable and I vomit, cry, convulse, and shiver My handprints in the mud for everyone to see Sweep it up, get it out “Don’t hold anything back,” he says My chest is being pried apart by strange, gentle hands My heart throbs, and all I can do is listen I’m still scared to admit Why I’m so scared all the time My gut twists, my head spins Each time I stare into that fire, I’m blind I miss being able to remember What it felt like to give and receive These tokens of love and faith are a dime a dozen I miss wanting to believe Please take this dark away Or clue me in to what light feels like Without an example, I can be no lead Without peace, I cannot know how to fight How can I dig, when I don’t know what to look for? How can I forgive, when I so easily forget? What I’m searching for seems lost Nothing was ever my fault, but all I feel is regret This family is there to help, This altar of flames is my consolation and solace Even as this woman of mixed hearts kneels, confused The songs and drums never leave me hopeless This faith is my gift, this water is my gift Better women than I have thrived This world, which needs tears to make it turn Will recognize my desire to survive Sweaty hands claw through the dirt Touch the red ember to my brow By sunrise no suffering goes in vain Their spirits’ support fill that void now |