When I entered the hospital for my mastectomy surgery. I was filled with mixed emotions such as sadness, anxiety and anticipation rolled into one. Sadness because after the surgery there will only be one breast left, anxiety because I do not know what will happen to me on the operating table and anticipation because I would like to know what should or must I feel after the surgery. The surgical procedure lasted for three hours and I did not know that I had an asthma attack on the operating table. In my room, I was wheezing, coughing and gasping for breath. I did not even notice that my right breast was gone and instead a long excised wound took place. I was so busy catching my breath and trying to control the pain; the physical one even though my IV was controlled by pain relievers, antibiotics and asthma medications. What I am concerned about is to be able to breathe normally again. There was the sudden acceptance that having only one breast left and that my sugar level suddenly surged upward. All I can think about is to go on breathing normally and not gasping for breath. God is so good to me that He gave me a reason why I should accept reality as it is. For now, I am recuperating and trying to remember that experience my asthma now more controlled and thank God for that.
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