Chance Encouter

The sweat was dripping underneath the folds of her breast and yet at the same time a chill was sweeping over her. She was engulfed in noise, vulgar smells and long lines of people impatiently talking on their cell phones while complaining to one another about this or that. However, none of those distractions seemed to catch her attention like the drops of sticky sweat cascading down her rib cage.

She shifted….first from one foot to the other, impatience stirring her body to respond. She looked past the tall man in front of her and surveyed the scene ahead. She was at least forty people back from the first inspection point and then it would be another ten minutes before she would stand before the scanners and shrew like inspectors.

Desperately she tried to retain a calm exterior for all who would observe, but within her, hopelessness was screaming out from the corners of her brain, dogging her every thought and begging her to flee. Freedom from her insanity would come soon. She did not doubt that fact. But, the question that kept bubbling up from the well within her--- would freedom be worth the price?

“Damn TSA.”The tall man in front of her turned around and looked her squarely in the eyes. She stared back as intently as he. But if the tall man had truly observed her, he would have seen the blank expression that emanated from her eyes.

She forced a smile.  Her white teeth contrasted against her raven hair.

“Yes. Damn this entire process. It is ridiculous.”

“Absolutely.” He smiled back, surveying her stature. She was a beautiful woman ……that was for sure. But there was something alarming about her presence.

“Where are you heading on this fortuitous evening?  He asked coyly. His heart still racing, his nerves finding courage. If only he could engage her in conversation then maybe he could persuade her to have a drink with him in the lounge.

She did not answer at first. He took her contemplation of his question was a good sign. At least she had not brushed him off.

“To LaGuardia.” Her voice was musical, yet the tone dissonant.

“Me, too.” Now he was truly excited.

She stared past him as they edged up in the line. He felt another chill wash over him and realized that his excitement would most probably turn into disappointment.

“Just a day trip?” He asked, as she only carried a small purse.

“Yes.” Her voice was becoming increasingly icier. He smiled and turned back around.

She felt her breath quicken. As soon as she realized its shallowness, she purposely held her breath to slow down her erratic heartbeat. As her shoulders tensed, she shifted her body around and looked at the line behind her.

All were preoccupied with their daily insanities. She did not feel sorry for them. They did not know better. Each of them were centered upon their own tiny universe, oblivious to their surroundings and trusting in the relics of their past. She would not feel guilty for her transgressions. She would not even think on them again. They reminded her of young bulls being prodded up a ramp to be castrated. If only they knew how detached they had become from civility. Then…. maybe there could be redemption. In her heart she understood they would never see what she saw, nor feel what she felt. They would never walk in her shoes, nor cry the tears she had cried. They were nothing to her.  They were nothing.

The tall man turned around and she cringed. “Would you like to get a drink before our flight? We have at least another two hours before the plane boards?” He had gathered his courage.

“Yes. That would be nice.” She lied, but she was a really good liar and felt no remorse. The line moved closer and she realized she might have use for the tall man after all.

“Good.” He fidgeted. “As soon as we get through this god forsaken line.”  His voice became louder and as he spoke the man in front of him chimed in.

“Bloody hell this is.” He was a short man in a suit that did not fit. “This is the most degrading….ridiculous…process.” He shook his head and as he did his comb over exposed his bald misshapen head. 

The tall man turned back around to her grinning and the spectacle in front of him, but she did not flinch. Her eyes were searching the line in front of her, calculating the steps to infinity.

When she was only five people away from showing her ticket and drivers license she opened her purse. As she pulled out her wallet she unexpectedly gazed at a photograph that was carefully tucked behind her license. She audibly moaned, and quickly caught her exhalations. No one had noticed, not even the tall man. She relaxed and allowed herself one more moment of reminiscence.

The photograph was tattered on the edges and stained with tears, but underneath the superimposed sadness were the faces of three blissfully happy people. She put her finger on the photo and traced the outlines of their bodies. They were laughing and hugging one another as the snow flakes swirled down upon them. She remembered that moment with the utmost clarity and for a brief time she escaped her self- imposed prison and remembered what life had once been.

It was in that moment that everything changed. After all the preparations, all the research, all the endless nights plotting revenge on an broken system…..she stood transfixed and frozen in contemplation.

Suddenly she found herself tapping the tall man on the back. He turned to her, expectant.

“I will not be going to LaGuardia after all.” She smiled. “But I can never thank you enough for the offer.”

She reached up and touched his cheek. She then turned and walked out of the dark stagnant air of hopelessness and back into the arms of life.