The Gatekeeper--Chapter Two

Sleep didn’t come easily that night.  The aching pressure in my chest lightened only slightly after all the crying.  I kept thinking about my father and Nellie and wondering how they could have deceived me for all those years.  They both knew my mother was alive and never told me.  It was the worst kind of deceit and I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.  I tossed around for an hour or so.  Once, I thought I heard Dr. Fleming’s familiar voice in the hall but I didn’t want to leave my room and have everyone see the condition I was in.

When my alarm went off at six, the sun was still two hours from coming up and I’d probably only logged about two hours of sleep.  But I had to check on Alex, get the coffee started and head up to the large guest cabin to get it ready for a family group coming in the afternoon.  I wanted to avoid Nellie if possible.  Knowing the truth, I didn’t see how I could face her. 

I checked my cell phone and found a text message from my sister.

Dr. Fleming was here yesterday.  What the hell is going on?  Call me ASAP.

What could he have told her?  I dialed her number.

“You must have got my text.”  She answered groggily, obviously not through her first cup of coffee yet.

“Yeah.  How’re your classes going?”  I tried to sound nonchalant but knew it wasn’t going to work.  Katie knew me better than anybody.  Even though she’d been taking classes at Purdue University for two years, we still kept in daily contact by text, phone, e-mail or all three.

“Screw my classes!  What the hell is going on?  Dr. Fleming came all the way out here yesterday and said that Dad left you a journal.”  Her impatience was volatile and I could hear the frustration in her every word.

“Yes.  Did he say anything else?”

“Only that there were things that you and I needed to talk about and it had to do with our mother.”

“Shit.”  This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have over the phone with her.  I didn’t want to say anything until I’d looked through the journal but opening it scared the hell out of me.  It was sitting on my nightstand as I talked to Katie and I wasn’t about to get into it with her on the phone.

“Listen, I have one early class I can’t miss on Friday.  I’m driving down there right after that, okay?”

“That would probably be a good idea but I don’t want to mess up any plans you might have.”

She hesitated for a minute then continued in a softer voice, “This is serious, isn’t it?  Are you okay, Sarah?”

I felt a sob trying to make its way through my voice.  I tried like hell to get it under control.

“We’ll talk when you get here.  I love you.”

“Love you, too.”



After a quick shower, I braided my hair, pulled on a pair of faded Levi’s and a hoodie and went down the hall to check on Alex.  When I knocked lightly, there was no answer at first.  Then the door opened and I saw that Alex was not just up, but dressed as well.  There was a small bandage at his temple, covering the cut that Nellie and I had seen last night, but other than that he looked fine.  Better than fine, actually.

He had put on an old pair of my Dad’s jeans and a dark gray sweater that my Aunt Lillian had knitted for my Dad years ago that he’d never actually worn.  His blond hair was still damp from his shower and it fell over his brow in golden waves.  I could sense his relief that I’d caught him fully dressed this time and he grinned at me sheepishly, showing an adorable dimple in one cheek. 

“Thanks for your help last night.”

“You’re welcome.”  I went to the bed and began taking the sheets off of it, trying not to feel his gaze on me.  There were so many questions I wanted to ask him about himself but I couldn’t seem to find the nerve to get that personal with him.  It didn’t seem like a good idea at all.

“Do I make you nervous or something?”  His question sounded sincere instead of teasing.

“A little, I guess.”  I folded up the blanket and duvet and put them on the padded bench at the end of the bed, “How did you end up out here?  We’re not exactly close to town or anything.”

His green eyes grew serious suddenly and I felt my heartbeat speed up.

“I’m here because of you, Sarah.”

I suddenly went very still.  Inside, my mind began buzzing with a million little frightning thoughts.  He was crazy.  He was a stalker.  He was going to kill me.  I covered my face with my hands, trying to slow down the insistent warnings screaming at me. 

“What are you talking about?”  I murmured shakily.

He sat on the bare mattress, regarding me with eyes full of apology and concern, “This is going to be hard for you to hear.  But your mother sent me here.”

No.  No.  This last thing was too much.  I wanted to be far away from him at that moment.  I wanted everything around me to just disappear because even the word “mother” sent shivers of agony down my spine.  Tears began to blur my vision but I managed to angrily wipe away the moisture before it went rolling down my cheeks.

“I don’t know my mother.” I choked out, “And I want you to leave here.  Now.”

I left the bedroom, slamming the door behind me with a bang and not looking back.  That didn’t just happen, I told myself.  It was all a huge mistake and he is talking to the wrong person.  He didn’t know what he was talking about.  He didn’t know anything about my family.  He certainly couldn’t know my mother.  There was no way.

I bumped into Nellie, who was carrying a pile of towels towards the huge linen closet near the top of the stairs. 

“Sorry, Nellie.”  I didn’t bother to help her pick anything up.  I had to get out of there.

I left the main guest house, walked around to the side of the property and headed down the wooded lane towards the meadow.  By then, the tears were streaming down my cheeks and leaving wet cold trails of moisture across my face as I navigated my way down the grassy lane.  The tall grass on either side of the lane sparkled with morning dew.  I heard the robins in the oaks along the lane waking and chirping in their typically optimistic tones. 

I stopped when I came to the horse pasture.  Lenny, the huge chestnut carriage horse was snapping at the yellowing grasses with his big teeth and taking small amounts into his mouth, his jaw working to chew while his lips and nose searched for more.  Occasionally, his long tail would snap this way and that, batting at a fly on his hindquarters.  He paid me no attention.

But his pasture mate, the smaller black mare called Messenger had noticed my arrival and stared at me as I stood there near the fence.  She glanced half-heartedly over at Lenny and then slowly began to walk over to me, her beautiful black hide gleaming in the early morning sun and her velvety soft ears pricked curiously in my direction.

As usual, she stopped about five feet from the fence and just looked at me.

There was some kind of connection between Messenger and I.  She had arrived three months ago after my father had seen her at a horse auction in Greenville and insisted on buying her.  For the most part, she’d spent all her time with us grazing and bullying Lenny in the pasture, although her previous owner had claimed she had been very well trained and an excellent mount for a young lady.

But the connection we had wasn’t about how well she moved under saddle.  I’d never actually ridden her.  There had been lots of times in the past when I’d pulled myself up onto Lenny’s back and ridden him around the pasture or even went trail riding with friends from high school.  I knew horses.  I was comfortable working around them. 

But one afternoon during my first (and last semester) of business college, I tried to ride Lenny and found that I couldn’t do it.  I was petrified.  The fear had very little to do with him.  He was a big baby who wouldn’t throw anyone.  But the idea of being up on his huge back and me possibly falling scared the hell out of me.  After walking around on him for just a minute or so, I realized I didn’t have the guts to push him into a faster gait.

When I slid down off his back that afternoon, I realized that something inside me had changed.  The carefree girl that I had been was gone.  Maybe forever.  And instead of fighting it, getting back up on that old draft horse and making him gallop faster than ever before, I pulled the bride and saddle off him and trudged back up to the barn with a different attitude.

Responsibility had reared its ugly head and I began to throw myself into the routine workings of the Inn.  At least I had the guts to handle that.  Cleaning toilets, doing laundry, changing sheets, dusting, taking reservations over the phone, greeting guests, pouring coffee.  That became my lot in life.  I never tried to ride Lenny again.

When Messenger first arrived, my Dad encouraged me over and over again to take her for a ride and enjoy myself.  She was mine, he’d insisted.  My own horse.  I did love her.  After I’d finished my work for the day, I would bring her into the old red barn and brush her.  I’d run the brush over her sloped shoulders and along her spine, watching the dust and dander dance in the light of the late afternoon sunshine.  I would talk to her for hours.  About everything I couldn’t tell anyone else.  I brought her chopped up carrots and apples and celery and would come back in the back door of the house later with horse slobber all over my hands and a big smile on my face.

But I never did try to ride her.

Deliberately trying to pull myself back to the present, I grasped the top board of the sun-faded fence and took a couple of deep breaths.  I was going to be okay.  Everything would be just fine.  My Dad would have wanted me to be strong.  Strong enough to move forward, keep the Inn operating and maybe even growing.  He’d counted on me to be strong.

A plaintive whine and a paw on my leg drew my attention down to my side.  Sadie, our eight-year-old Golden Retriever met my gaze with soulful brown eyes and a slow wag of her wavy tail.  She was worried.  Although she was primarily an outside dog, Sadie would occasionally be invited inside the house if all guests were dog-friendly and had no allergies.  She was my rock. 

I stroked her head and leaned down to give her a hug, “I’ll be okay, girl.  Things are just a little weird right now.”

“She’s concerned about you.”

I looked up and found Alex leaning against the fence a few feet down.  I jumped back a bit in surprise.  Sadie turned towards the stranger and paused, tilting her head slightly.  I watched her, wondering what she would make of this new face in our quiet little world.

Alex kneeled down to her level and smiled, “Hey beautiful.”

That was it for Sadie.  Her tail whipped back and forth and she hurtled herself towards Alex with her tongue hanging out and a huge dog grin on her face.  She knocked him to the ground, covered his clean shirt with dirty paw prints and his face with slobbery dog kisses.  He took all this canine attention gracefully—as gracefully as one can while on the ground—and laughed lowly.

“Sadie, enough.”  I told her sternly.  All I wanted was for this guy to disappear.  The fact that my dog was crazy about him didn’t change my opinion.  I turned away from them both and headed back towards the main guesthouse.  I could try to bond with Messenger later.  Getting away from Alex was my top priority at the moment. 

“Hey, wait up.”  I heard Alex jogging up behind me and Sadie’s happy panting following closely behind.

“You need to leave.  This isn’t a halfway house.”  I told him without hesitation. 

The main house loomed ahead of me, looking serene and peaceful in the morning light.  The wide front porch, dotted here and there with potted plants and rocking chairs was empty.  The shortly-cut lawn and half circle driveway was still wet with morning dew.  I realized that it would only be a few shorts weeks before the leaves began to change and eventually fall, covering everything in brilliant gold, red and brown leaves.  The smell of wood smoke would be in the air.  Families would gather around the fire pit in the back garden, roasting marshmallows and hot dogs.

I paused for a moment, thinking of all the preparation needed for the busy fall season ahead.  But I couldn’t concentrate on it at all.  I felt like I was standing on the edge of some gigantic crevice, staring down into a darkness full of unknown terrors.  Fear made me freeze where I was.  I wondered vaguely if I was having some kind of a panic attack.

“Sarah?”  Alex stood next to me on the wet grass, his amazing eyes fixed on my face.

I couldn’t look away from him.  He held some secret knowledge that was about to change my life forever, but I was pretty sure I didn’t want to hear any of it.  Escape seemed completely impossible.  This was my fate, staring me in the face with earnest apology. 

“Your mother sent me.”  He searched my face for some sign of acceptance, “I met her in California and she sent me here to help you.”

To help me?  I shook my head.  No way.  She wanted to help me now?  Denial was burning a path through my veins, churning and melting me inside.  I clenched my fists at my sides and then folded my arms over my middle.

“There’s a lot more you need to know, Sarah.”  Alex’s voice felt warm to my ears but the rest of me felt cold.  I wanted to curl up somewhere and just forget everything that had happened over the past month.  My Dad passing away, the doctor’s heart-wrenching news about my mother, the journal.  I desperately wanted to go back in time to my old life.

He looked around, taking in the quiet scene before us and smiled slightly, “How about we find you somewhere to sit down and I’ll bring us out some coffee, okay?  You need to calm down a bit, right?”

I nodded stiffly, “Yeah.” 

“No problem.  Nelly’s in the kitchen getting breakfast started and I’ve already got her wrapped around my little finger.”  He teased, trying to lighten up the conversation.  He flashed me a smile, complete with those adorable dimples before heading up to the front steps.

Sadie remained with me, looking after Alex adoringly but obviously reluctant to leave me when she knew I was so upset.  I scratched her behind her ears and went up onto the front porch, found my favorite rocking chair and curled my legs up under me as I sat down.  Sadie settled herself as close to me as possible, her big head resting on my legs and her eyes fixed on me worriedly.

I couldn’t begin to understand why all this was happening.  It was like a tidal wave of darkness, pulling me under murky waters.  The emotions of the past few weeks were twisting inside of me, yanking me every which way.  Whatever Alex had to say, I was pretty sure it was just going to make matters worse.  But I knew that Katie would be here soon and it might be possible to put my trust in Alex as well, depending on how events unfolded.  He seemed like a decent sort of guy.  Putting aside the fact that he was completely gorgeous, he also seemed to be a polite sort.  But there was probably a dark side to him somewhere behind those striking blue eyes and chiseled features.

I heard the screen door open and close as Alex came out with two steaming mugs of Nellie’s famous coffee.  He must have checked with her to see how I liked it because it had plenty of cream in it.  I took a deep sip, feeling its warmth soak through me slowly.

“Sarah, I know this has been a rough time for you.  Losing your Dad must have been devastating.”

I shook my head, “Look, we don’t even know each other.”

He settled himself into the rocking chair beside mine and leaned forward, “I know.  I understand that.  But I know a lot more about you than you might imagine.”

“From my mother?  You’re right.  I do find that hard to imagine, since she’s been away for fourteen years.”  It was difficult to keep the bitter tone from my voice.

“There was a very good reason she had to leave.”

I really didn’t want to talk about it.  I tried to shut him out, concentrate on the starkly red cardinal hopping around in the fir trees that surrounded the driveway.  Anything else would be preferable to hearing about her.  The sunlight was beginning to sketch shorter shadows across the freshly-swept porch and I wondered if I would even have time to clean the big cabin before the new guests arrived.

“Look at me.”  Alex had abandoned his coffee mug on the window sill near our chairs and was kneeling in front of me, his gaze penetrating and harsh in the morning light.  The planes of his face were hard with determination.  He wasn’t about to let me off the hook.

“Your mother isn’t perfect.  She probably wouldn’t have been a good Mom to you even if circumstances had allowed her to stay.  But she sent me here because you need help.  You have a role to play.”

“I don’t…”

“Let me say what I need to say.  Please.”  His gaze softened somewhat in reaction to my confusion.

I set my coffee mug down next to his and crossed my arms, “Fine.”

He inhaled deeply and lowered his head for a moment.  It was just a slight hesitation, but he looked vulnerable for a moment.  Almost like a little boy who wasn’t sure what he was doing, and I felt something trip inside me.  My heart warmed a little at that image and I found myself wanting to sooth him somehow.  I tried to harden myself against it, but the way his silky hair traced the edge of his jaw and the momentary slump of his shoulders drew me in.

Before I realized what I was doing, my hand was reaching out and I slid my fingers through the strands of his golden hair to touch his cheek.  The contact immediately brought images into my mind that seemed so oddly familiar that I didn’t pull away.  Instead of ghoulish shadowy figures that frightened me, I saw a woman dressed in a faded cotton dress sitting in the middle of a field.  Her eyes were trained on a huge boulder across the field as if she were waiting for something.  Her hair had been left loose, its ebony tresses sweeping back wildly in the wind.  Then something changed.  Incredibly, the huge rock began to move to one side, sliding almost soundlessly across the grass.  The woman stood, her face lit with intense excitement.

The vision ended abruptly.  Alex had moved away from me to the very edge of the porch, surprise evident in the contours of his beautiful face.  I had frightened him somehow.

“Don’t do that, Sarah.”  Even his voice was edged with fear, nearly cracking in emotional turmoil.

“Last night, when I brushed against you…”

“Yes, it happened then too.  I know.”

Obviously, some kind of weird connection was happening between Alex and I that was beyond my understanding.  But I had a feeling he knew exactly what was sparking these visions.

“Alex, what is going on?”

He pressed his hands against his face and took a deep breath, “I didn’t know it was going to feel like that.  She didn’t warn me.”

“My mother?”

“Yes.”  He moved slowly back to the rocking chair he’d been sitting in before and collapsed into it, “She said that you might have an odd reaction if we touched.  I had no idea it would be that powerful.”  With effort, he drew himself back up, “But that isn’t even important right now.  Sarah, do you have the journal?”  His eyes were fixed on me again.

How could he know about that?  Had my mother known about the journal too?

I hesitated for a moment, “Yes, I have it.  Upstairs.”

“You haven’t read any of it yet?”

“No.  I wasn’t ready to deal…”  I felt the tears starting to burn in my eyes again and decided to stop talking before I started spouting like Niagara Falls.

He sighed and picked up his mug from the window sill, “Before I say anything else about your mother, I’m going to suggest that you read some of the journal.  I don’t want to upset you.  But I hope you decide to let me stay.  I’m supposed to be here to answer your questions and help you with this stuff, Sarah.”

I wrapped my arms more tightly around myself, “We have a small cabin over by the creek.  We’ve been working on renovating it.  If you want to stay there, you can.”

“Thanks.”

I fixed my gaze on him in steady determination, “But I’m not entirely comfortable with this.  Why didn’t she just come herself to help me?”

His eyes were full of patient tolerance, the depths of them dark with some long held emotion, “Just read the journal.  It will put everything into perspective.”



It was worked out between Nelly and Joe.  Alex would help Joe put a new roof on the big family lodge and take care of the horses in exchange for staying in the little creek cabin.  I tried to stay out of it as much as possible.  They knew I had approved of Alex staying and that was pretty much all that either of needed to know.  I wasn’t about to tell them that he knew my mother.  I felt strange being around Nelly, knowing that she’d withheld the information about my mother being alive.

Alex fit into the daily operation of the Woodhaven Inn like he’d been here for years.  He’d completely charmed Nelly.  He seemed to know exactly how to respond to her numerous questions about his past in a way that was both teasing and unrevealing.  He would turn her simple inquiries into a joke and have us all laughing before we realized he hadn’t actually answered the question.  I wasn’t immune to his charms either, but his purpose here still disturbed me.

The first night that Alex stayed in the creek cabin, I slid the journal off my nightstand before I fell asleep and read the first few pages.  It all seemed so cryptic and foreign to me.  It wasn’t even in my father’s handwriting.



July 16, 1945

I wish I were not the Gatekeeper.  It’s a burden I wouldn’t wish on anyone else, but I suppose it is a position that has always been mine to fill.  Just as my father before me and his father and so on.  It’s been a startling and frightening thing, being responsible for this.  Until my father showed me the stones in the meadow and I met one of the dark ones, I had no idea.  How could I have guessed that any of this was even possible?  I had imagined them to be part of some ghastly fairy tales.  Certainly not what they really are.  Victoria was not here under orders.  She was a voluntary guest.  My father says that there may be some of them that will be detained here against their will.  He warned me that it would be dangerous.  I hope that the Council does not send any here.  Running the farm is difficult enough without dealing with vampires.

Vampires?  I read it again to make sure I hadn’t been mistaken.  There it was, though.  Vampires.  It was very clear, in black and white.  From 1945.  Who had written this?  Why had my father had this journal and passed it to me?  I wasn’t sure I wanted to read any more. 

I stared at the fading yellow paint covering my bedroom walls and ran my fingers over the text in the journal.  Vampires didn’t really exist.  This journal had to be a joke.  But I found myself turning the page to the next entry, the curiosity overwhelming.

September 2, 1945

They’ve sent one.  A detainee.  His name is Michael.  They haven’t said what he’s accused of doing, but after speaking with him briefly in the meadow, I get the feeling that he’s very dangerous.  Seems to be an arrogant son of a bitch as well.  They’ve assured me that I’m protected.  He can’t harm me.  But if anyone else were to come into the meadow, they may be at risk.  I’ll need to put up a fence.  That damned bloodsucker has been giving me nightmares too.

Suddenly, I felt completely frustrated and knew that I had to talk to Alex.  He knew more than he was telling me.  I grabbed a jacket from my closet, pulled it on over my flannel pajamas, slid the journal inside the jacket and headed down to the creek cabin.

The moon was just a tiny crescent, barely giving me enough light to make my way down the stone path towards the creek where I saw a dim light through one of the dingy windows of the cabin.  I wondered if it was too late to disturb him until I heard the sound of the little TV that Joe had let him borrow spouting out the late-night local news in the background.

Instead of knocking, I opened the door and went in without an invitation.  Alex was sprawled on the tiny twin-sized bed in just a pair of pajama pants, his eyes wide with confusion as I approached.  I pulled the journal out of the jacket and tossed it on his lap, trying not to notice the way the hard planes of his chest and abdomen glowed in the light from the single little lamp by his bed.

“What the hell is this about?”  I flung out at him.

He looked down at the journal on his lap and then quickly grabbed it up and turned in the bed so his feet were on the floor and began to flip through the pages.  His eyes scanned the first few entries before he even glanced up at me.

“How much have you read?”  He inquired.

“Enough to know that whoever wrote this is certifiable insane.  My question to you is what the hell was my Dad doing with this?  What’s the angle?”  I was furious, confused and nearly panting.

He didn’t answer right away.  The pages had him mesmerized, and he seemed to be reading them incredibly fast.  After a few minutes, he looked up at me again with an ironic half smile.

“Sounds kind of crazy, doesn’t it?”

“Kind of crazy?”  I shot back.  I grabbed the TV remote and hit the mute button so I could concentrate.  I threw the remote back down on the folding table he was using as a nightstand and glared at him.

“Alex, what the fuck is going on?  Who wrote this?”

That smile was still there as he delivered the answer, “Your grandfather, believe it or not.”