Yard Sale Rejects

I was as cheap as one of the prostitutes that hailed from the red light district, or so the fifty-cent price tag dangling from my lampshade read.

I can't believe my mistress would do this to me! Just take a look at this useless junk cluttering the table I stood on. A beautiful brass lamp with intricate beadwork and a creamy ivory lampshade, such as me, is never out priced by an ugly, crudely painted porcelain bunny rabbit that's missing its left eye. How dare she! After I've lit her living room night after endless night for over twenty years. She's just going to dispose of me like I'm trash. My mother was a chandelier for pete's sake, I'm not just some run-of-the-mill lamp! I'm simply not yard sale material, at the very least, I belong in an upper-class furniture store.

Wait...hold on...I can see a young woman, with a toddler hanging on her arm, heading towards me. Now she looks sophisticated, her navy blue suit fitting her nicely and the Tiffany & Co. jewelry that adorns her wrist smells of the hope and promise of a life well-spent in a mansion. I wouldn't mind that...oh, here she comes. Stand up straight now, and try to catch a ray of sun to make your base shimmer...

"Mommy , look," I heard the toddler cry, "that lamp's ugly!"

What?! How dare it say I'm ugly! I'm not the one with chocolate stains on my shirt and bed-head. "Damien, shh," the woman urged.

So, the little pipsqueak has a name...now, now revenge can come later after you're in the pretty lady's home.

Standing tall and proud after that little snafu, I urged the woman to glance back at me- to realize her home would not be complete without me. Yes... look her hand is coming closer, she's probably going to examine the exquisite beading on my lampshade! Wait...no, impossible...she's...she's picking up the porcelain rabbit next to me. Why?! I've sat on this table for hours, undeniably the best thing for sale, and she picks up, of all things, that damn rabbit. I watched in despair as the woman bought the rabbit and left with the toddler. The rabbit's only eye gleaming from the toddler's grimy hands, taunting me.

The thud of a box hitting the table I was perched on startled me from my pondering. Wait...why was my mistress packing things in this mysterious box?! Her hand grasped my base and lifted me into the air, setting me down into the dark interior. No! I'm a creature of light, get me out of this cursed box my mistress! Think of everything we've been through! I heard her sigh, "Maybe someone will buy you next year." Next year? It slowly dawned on me, oh no...please mistress, not the basement! She was gonna shove me in a box with the rest of these yard-sale rejects and stow me away! Never to sit on a mahogany tabletop again...just left to collect dust in a rotting cardboard box for the rest of my days...the horror!

I silently pleaded with her to lift me out of this misery and to place me back in my rightful place- her home. "Maybe I priced you wrong after all," I heard her mutter, looking down at me. Yes! Hope filled me. Yes, my mistress, I'm worth so much more!

"How about twenty-five cents?"