Figuring it out

At age nineteen I feel like I should have it all figured out

A college I love, a boy, the love of my life

But I am not the same- time has come to prove

I learned from what was reflected

But what I saw I did not love

And so I struggle

I must keep my head up and fight

I learned that from my mother

For I am beautiful despite societies views

I am strong despite the struggles

And I am loved though he may not show it

Yes I must remind myself

With words we do not speak

Sometimes it’s so hard though and I wonder

What I would do if god forbid he left

And I never got to hear him say it

Because he hasn’t for so long and never does

The pain it causes could only be felt

At this point in my life I could use

All the love and support

The absence makes it worse

So I search and search

I will not give up on myself

Or his perfect silhouette