A Mother's Advice

A Mother’s Advice



“Mom, I think Justin is cheating on me.” Jada looked into her mother’s eyes.

“What!  For real,” said Michelle.  “Sis, you need to tell that cheating punk ass, sorry excuse for a husband to step off?”  She took a long drag on her cigarette and scratched her itchy braids.

Clair sat back in her chair, and sighed.  She sensed the pain in her daughter’s voice.  She had seen it before, over 15 yrs ago.  Those same eyes looked back at her in the bathroom mirror the day she found out her marriage was over.

Dave, high school sweetheart, husband, and father to her two girls, was caught in the act with a younger woman.  Clair went through every emotion in the book.  At one point she even pulled a knife on the man.  It took her a long time to get over that hurt; it almost ruined her 2nd marriage to a wonderful man, Carl, the man she was married to now.



“So what makes you think that Justin is stepping out on you, baby girl?”

“Well,” said Jada.  “He has been very distant the last few months.”

“He’s cheating!” screamed Michelle.

“Shut your mouth,” Clair pointed to her with a stern finger.  She looked at Jada and told her to continue.

“We used to hug and kiss all of the time.  We don’t anymore.  He is just cold.  We never take the kids out.  We just don’t talk and touch.  It is crazy mom!’  Jada, usually a rough and tough woman was nearly on the brink of breaking down.  “And now, he is going out every Friday night.”

“No, not happening,” said Michelle.

“You don’t know where he goes,” asked Clair.

“Well, he says he is going out to play blackjack with his boys.”  Jada shook her head.  “But nobody can play that much blackjack!  You think he’s cheating mom?”



Clair looked to her daughter.  The pain was there.  But there was something else she saw and recognized in her own eyes.  Denial.

“I hear you baby girl,” said Clair.  “But slow down for a minute.  Do you know why me and your dad split?  Do you?”

“Cause he cheated on you,” said the daughters.

“Yes and no,” said Clair.  “He did cheat, but I cheated first.”

Both daughters sat astonished.  A ton of bricks dropped on them from a skyscraper’s rooftop.

“Now slow down,” Clair continued.  “That is part of both of yalls problem.  You got overactive imaginations.”  She laughed.

“You see, I cheated him out of a happy home life.  Your daddy was a hopeless romantic.  He was all flowers and candy, poems and jewelry.  And he could handle his business in the bedroom too.”

“Mom!” screamed the daughters.

“It’s true,” Clair laughed.  “And fix things around the house too.  This old house was in tip top shape, food was always on the table and he gave you two more attention than you could imagine.  That was a loving man.”

“Then why did he cheat?” asked Jada.

“Yes, if he was so happy, why did he throw it all away?”

“I got stuck on stupid,” said Clair.  “I stopped showing appreciation to your dad.  I wanted to do my own thing, got into the book clubs and things at church.  I left your dad lonely.  I didn’t accept those gifts and his loving advances.  My world became about you two and my own life.  I guess he got tired of being put on the back burner.  All that love to give and nobody to give it back.”

“But that is no excuse for cheating,” said Michelle.

“True.  But imagine that your man wouldn’t listen to you.  Wouldn’t hold you, would do, whatever.  How would you feel?  That husband of yours feels the same way your dad did.  You are shutting that good man out.”

“What are you talking about?” said Jada.

“I have seen you two.  You nag him about the twins; you always are on him about something.  Let me ask you, what’s it like when he gets home from work?”

“What do you mean,” asked jada.

“Do you throw ask him how his day was, or do you go on about your day and the kids?”

Jada sat in silence.

“See,” the mother continued.  “You got to love that man like the day you met.  He isn’t just a provider and a dad.  That is your man.  The same fine man that you fell in love with!  Maybe Justin doesn’t chase you because you stopped letting yourself get caught!”  Clair laughed.



Jada sat quietly and let her mother’s words sink in.  There was a lot of hurtful truth in those words.

“Justin is no cheater,” said Clair.  “Not yet.  But you have to get off that selfish horse that you are riding and get to riding your man!”  They all shared a laugh.

“Turn off the TV, stop texting your girls every night and pay attention to that fine man of yours.  You know what you have to do.”  Clair sat back arms folded in her lap



The following Friday, Jada sat at home waiting for Justin to arrive home from work.  The twins were staying the night with friends, and jada was determined to show her husband that their life together would be different.  His normally ritual was to come home, make sure the house was in order and leave for blackjack with his friends.  If only she could keep him home.  She swallowed hard when she heard the garage door open.  He was home.



As Justin walked into the room, Jada met his eyes.  She read confusion, excitement, and aggression in his eyes.  She adjusted the bowtie on her costume; a topless Vegas Card Dealer Lingerie set. 

She smiled and said, “I believe 21 is your favorite game.”