Sorrow Turns Into Memories

I hate the way I feel.
I hate the feelings I feel.
I can't make the pain go away,
It stings my heart but heals my soul.
I want to love you but at the same time I want to hate you.
I curse your name but I revel in your ignorance.
My sorrow turns into hated memories,
Memories I can’t control or get rid of.
I want you but I don't.
You kill me but you bring me back to life.
I’ve never felt so alive but I feel so dead inside,
I struggle to break free but I just can’t struggle anymore.
I give into the feeling of hatred.
I hate how I feel about you.
You are my demise but you are my savior.
Everything turns into bliss but I always want to push you away,
I rage at myself but I keep my arms open to you.
I hide how I feel but everyone always sees the truth.
You mirror back what I'm scared to say.
I hide how I feel but everyone always sees the truth.
I say I love you but I don't mean it.
I laugh but I want to cry.
The pain torturing me on the inside,
You make me feel at peace but I always feel inner turmoil.
I can’t breathe without screaming.
I can’t love without all the hate.
I want to love everything you do but the pain just makes it hard to see clearly.
I’m blind but I can see everything that is hidden deep within your heart.
You have given me no lies but I still want to push you away.
It feels so wrong to say that you aren’t who you used to be,
I want you but at the same time I don’t know who you’ve become.
My sorrow is my sweet oblivion to the present but my tears are from the past.
I want everything as it is but I want it to change to the old times.