A Very Bad Day

Today has been one of those days when nothing has went the way it was planned; life is off kilter and I'm just in a horrible mood.  So what better way to release some frustrations than to write about all the things I hate in this world.



I hate pillows without pillowcases on them, I hate vegetables and strawberry ice cream, I hate Croc shoes and people who touch my hands.  I hate green peppers, asshole ex husbands, grocery shopping, and being late for anything.  I hate oranges, watermelon, rainy days with no one to spend them with, and feeling lost.



I hate to cook, I hate never being able to find an ink pen in this house when you need one, I hate Sundays, and the I hate the fact that Bret Michaels will never EVER pick the right damn woman on his dating shows.  I hate people with no sense of humor, I hate Taylor Swift, I hate the fact that life is never fair, and I hate people who are eternally optimistic and perky.



I hate the fact that our family has fallen so far apart that we will never be what we were, I hate that Angela and Vanessa live so very far away, I hate days when all my children do is nitpick and argue, and I hate taking out the garbage.  I hate being in a large crowd, feeling overwhemed and so out of place; I hate people who can't spell and I hate feeling like a hypocrite (which I do today).



I hate feeling at a crossroads, I hate having to make decisions, and I hate the fact that I'm such a waffler.  I know what I NEED in this life, and I also know that my WANTS don't coincide with those needs.  I hate that I can't have both; that life is designed to make you pick between the two.  I hate that I wear my heart on my sleeve, I can never conceal what I am thinking and feeling, it's always on public display.  Sometimes I hate the fact that I'm such a hopeless romantic, maybe I would be more satisfied settling with the ordinary instead of trying to get that damn irretrieveable fairy tale Princess Bride love story if my heart wasn't always in the clouds.  I hate the fact that I'm beginning to believe the quote "The one who loves you and the one you love are never ever the same person"; maybe the best we can hope for out of this life is to find someone who loves us and let that simply be enough.  Fairy tales are for children and craptastic Hallmark channel movies;  life isn't going to be a happily ever after, so perhaps all we can do is hope to find someone who loves us in whatever way they can and never let your heart expect more.  Maybe that's what "happily ever after" is; the realization that love is what you make it and sometimes you can compromise and settle and have it be just enough.



I hate the fact that I don't want "just enough".