Shaking and Sober

I’m tripping someone’s given me uppers

and I’m just a tea toddler with no basis for comparison

the world is flying flying

and I’m sitting stagnant like murky water

in this great shining diamond of a world

set perfectly into what god has in store for me.

Oh, it’s gold, it’s brilliant, and made all the more lovely

by the way it shakes in my hands!

Nervous energy

Anticipation for what will never come

I am the bridal chamber I am the honeymoon

and I will never wed.

Oh, I need the earth, I need the sky

I need the emptiness of space to fill the vast plains of my heart

with obsession and beautiful incomprehension

I shake, I flitter, I sigh and clench my teeth

my ears are stagnant water and they hear

the gold the diamond the brilliance of all creation

I don’t understand the loveliness,

How I can be sober

when the universe is this shiny and I’m shaking with love.