Space Is Deep

Space Is Deep
(Book 1 of 3 in the 2 part trilogy)

Blurb:
It is the story of the greatest thief's in all the galaxy. One of them happens to be human,
he is the first (and only) human to leave Earth's solar system. This guy is... well lets put it in a nice way... he is fucking insane. He has flown an Impala, stolen a pyramid, (which by a meaningless coincidence is (was) on a planet called Egypt. And by another meaningless coincidence Egypt is in the middle-east of the galaxy) and taken many girls for a ride on 'Space Ship' ('Space Ship' is attached to his body, is of average size and located near the very top of his legs). His girlfriend is humanoid, but comes form Wathaphucsphere (Wathaphucsphere is an artificial atmosphere, no land, just atmosphere. You are probably thinking "An artificial atmosphere with no land... What the fuck??"). She happens to be the captain of a ship (called the Starship Whorquinnd). Well she was the captian untill he stole it from her. (He later traded it for a crumbed chilli-chicken and cheese sausage at a greasy spaceport on Keloidis XII). She has a brother who believes that her Impala-flying, Pyramid-stealing boyfriend is a bad influence on her. (Why? Beats me!) The last member of their team is completely alien and looks entirely unlike an anorexic Meat Loaf.

Chapter 1.
Whenever Mik completes a job, he always would let his alter-ego out for a spin. On this occasion (and like most occasions) they found a bar, spotted the drunkest, most unorderly man around and ordered a beer saying "put it on his tab" indicating
the drunken baffoon that they had just spotted. After a short while they order another drink (this time considderably heavier) and then another. This goes on for quite a while, untill the man, who has already got a tab so large that it would bankrupt his entire family past, present and future, ordered a beer. "Sorry Mate, we're out" came the bartenders reply. "Out!?" "How can you be out?" (although it did sound more like this; "OW!?" "Ow wan neu be ow" and it looked like he was actually trying to fly, unsuccesfully of course). By now his brain had figured out what all those empty glass shapes sitting on the bench infront of him. He rounded (quite slowly and stumbling) on what appeares to be Mik, "You're a dick" he said. "That's my name, don't ware it out" said Dik as he got up and left. A little down what seemed to be a very wonky road Dik found a nice bin to sleep in for the night. As was mentioned before Mik would let his alter-ego loose after finishing a job, this however was not one of those times.