The Pain

I cruise the waters of my misery,
Aimlessly following the tide of despair.
Looking around, no light guides,
No moonlight breaks the darkness here.

I miss everything about you.
Being cast adrift, I can do nothing.
How often I search for a beacon of hope,
Only to cry at the futility.

I stand on one spot, spinning, looking, spinning.
It ends the same way. Heart keening,
Body slumping to the deck, sobs racking me.
Every ounce of light has gone, extinguished.

I see you often, chatting to others,
And I wonder. Was it her? Was it her?
To feel my soul connect with yours,
Was my greatest joy in life.

To have it all taken away so callously,
Has destoyed me. I try so hard,
To find my light, remember my existence before you.
Every day that goes by is another nail in the coffin of my confidence.

I wish I could hate you. Maybe then I would not hurt so much.
So here I spin, alone on deck.
Still looking for the light.
Still hating myself for missing you.