Anniversary

“Oh for Goodness sake!”
“What’s wrong now?”
“You know what’s wrong.”
“If I did, then I wouldn’t be asking would I?”
“Well, if you don’t know, I’m not telling you.”
“Not this again.”
“Yes this again. How long have we been married John? Ten years. Ten years of being married; of living together and still you don’t know.”
“I’m not a flaming mind reader.”
“Not asking you to be, I’ve told you enough times.”
“When?”
“Oh, plenty of times. Just shows how much you listen to me doesn’t it? Shows how much attention you pay to me.”
“I pay attention when you’re not nagging.”
“Nagging? Huh. I wouldn’t have to nag if you…”
“If I listened, yeah I know. See I do listen.”
“Will you stop smirking while I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you? Yes, that’s it you’re so funny aren’t you?”
“I ju….”
“Do you think I want to nag? Don’t you think I’d much rather sit down and have a nice adult conversation?”
“We…”
“Fat chance of that with you though. You don’t take anything seriously.”
“I do!”
“All I wanted was a nice night, but no.”
“What? What am I supposed to have done?”
“I’m not talking to you. Not ‘til you apologise.”
“Jane.”
“Not talking to you.”
“Ha! You just did.”
“Shut up John.”
“and again.!”
“I’ll not tell you again.”
“Okay, okay. I apologise. I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“Erm….”
“See you don’t know. What use is an apology if you don’t even know what you’re apologising for?”
“But you said…”
“At least pretend you mean it John.”
“I don’t know what I’m meant to have done….”
“You’re not ‘meant’ to have done anything. You have done.”
“But what? Give us a clue Jane.”
“We’re not playing hangman! This is our marriage.”
“Do you have to be so melodramatic”
“Yes, as it happens.”
“Always the drama queen our Jane.”
“Well ,I’m not talking to you. Think about what you’ve done and then think about how you’re going to make it up to me.”
“Jane, it’s our anniversary, do you think we could at least enjoy it?”
“You’d think wouldn’t you? Turns out that ten years ago, I had a leave of my senses and married a Neanderthal!”
“That’s not nice.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“Jane come on. Are we really going to sit all night in silence?”
“Yes.”
“But, Jane how many times do we get out without the kids?”
“Exactly, which is why I’m even madder that you’ve ruined this for me.”
“I’ve ruined this? I’m not the one sulking.”
“You made me sulk!”
“Haha you sound like Tommy. Wonder where he got his toddler tantrums from?”
“Don’t you dare make fun of me!”
“I’m not dear, I’m just saying….”
“I don’t care what you’re just saying, unless it starts with the word ‘Sorry’.”
“Fine. Lets just sit here in silence.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
“so, you’re just going to sit there ignoring me?”
“Your idea.”
“You really are just going to sit there all quiet aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Well, fine. I’m not talking to you anyway.”
“So you said.”
“Fine.”
“Yes. Fine.”
“You know ten years ago, we were probably having our first dance.”
“Aerosmith. Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing.”
“I love that song.”
“Yeah.”
“Remember we couldn’t stop giggling all the way through?”
“You couldn’t stop giggling. Too much champagne.”
“Yeah. You know I was so happy that day.”
“Me too dear.”
“I thought I might actually pop I was so happy.”
“Me too dear.”
“The best day of my life. Oh, apart from when the kids were born. Obviously.”
“Obviously.”
“Was it the best day for you?”
“Of course it was dear, I can’t believe you have to ask.”
“You don’t show it much. You didn’t even buy me flowers this year. You always buy me flowers.”
“Wait, is that what you were sulking about?”
“I wasn’t sulking, but yes.”
“You daft woman!”
“What?”
“I had them delivered to our hotel room.”
“Oh. What hotel room?”
“The one that was meant to be a surprise. Your mum’s having the kids overnight and we’re having some ‘us time’.”
“Oh John. I thought you didn’t care!”
“Of course I care. I love you!”
“Oh John. I love you too. Look at me, I’ve got a tear in my eye!”
“Come here, let me wipe it. Don’t want your mascara running.”
“Oh John. I’m sorry I acted like a moody cow on the way here. “
“After ten years I’m used to it dear.”
“Hey!”
“I’m joking dear.”
“Well, I am sorry and I’m sorry for spoiling the surprise.”
“It’s okay dear, it was killing me having to keep it a secret anyway. Surprised your mum didn’t let it slip actually.”
“My mum knew?”
“Yeah.”
“Aw, come here. Thank you darling.”
“My pleasure dear. Oh, the waiters here, you’d best sit back down.”
“Oh.”
“Good evening sir; madam. I have a bottle of Moet for you. Complimentary of course, Do enjoy. Are you ready to order?”
“Can we have a few more minutes?”
“Of course sir.”
“Free champers eh dear?”
“Lovely darling. Mmm. Don’t slurp it John. It’s not a mug of tea.”
“I think I’d prefer a mug of tea.”
“Honestly John. Can’t we just have a dignified night out?”
“I was just saying.”
“You always are.”
“All this sparkly stuffs not really my thing.”
“’Sparkly stuff’ it’s champagne.”
“Too many bubbles.”
“Shhhh, keep your voice down, someone’ll hear.”
“What’s that matter?”
“They’ll think we have no class. And don’t hear all the bread John….”