The Perception Of Love

I feel completely empty. Or, could it be that I'm wrong, and it's a flood of emotion I can't sort?
Why am I so confused?
I love you but I loathe what you've done to me.
Sleeping without your warmth,
breathing without your touch,
is constantly, vigorously wearing on my heart.

Come accept me,
come embrace me.
Take my arms and let them enfold you,
Let them protect you from all that threatens you,
what you stand for.
I am willing to give my everything for you.
And yet, you don’t even acknowledge it.

But somehow,
deep within my shredded soul,
I accept it with open arms,
and with eyes misted over with tears not yet fallen.
The way you make me feel
has yet to be requited.
Although I know you feel far away,
I am not okay ,
you don’t notice my feelings.
Feelings which I have sewn into my actions,
Have crystallized in my thoughts.
It’s almost as if you’re rejecting me,
without letting the words fall harshly on your lips.

Oh your lips
I would give anything to see them, touch them,
Feel them over my neck,
pressed boldly against mine.

The eyes that sway me,
the touch that feeds me,
drives me beyond my own reach,
and into your command again.
Oh, how my smoldered heart would be reborn
into the brightest flame this earth has ever felt
if you would only be mine,
My heart would rise out of the pits of my stomach
and began to beat in unison with yours.

But this is merely a dream.
Oh, how dreams are angelic and pleasant
while one is dreaming,
but when you wake up you realize
that maybe its not meant to be or not bound to happen.

Maybe,
just maybe,
you are not supposed to be the love of my life but the end of it ....
end of me,
maybe you are here to shoot me point blank with a pistol loaded with hate,
bound never love you at all.

It’s my perception that determines my entirety of thinking,
my perception that may lead me down a road,
paved with betrayal and cemented with defeat,
or can fulfill me with everlasting happiness and joy.

But this,
what I have,
isn’t happiness or joy,
it’s agony.

I beg of you,
change my perception.
because I am incapable.

But how, how do I change my perception of you?
All your perfected flaws, your perfected skin and perfected ways?
Why?
Why do your ‘imperfections’ make you perfect?
Maybe I will wake one morning,
And realize you for what you really are .

But until then,
I am bound to say your name everyday,
with hope of us being together,
and I won’t stop loving you.
I won’t stop, until you perceive me as your lover,
or I perceive you as nothing but a mere illusion
blinding my path with your soon to be irrelevant light.