Scaring thoughts and feelings.

The shaking begins to start,
the worry begins to grow,
it gets pulled out of a bag,
its the beginning of another show,
The line gets drawn,
my heart begins to race,
the pumping of blood hits my face,
as a tear drops down upon my cheek,
i wipe it away and begin to think.

The pain makes my insides turn,
my thoughts turn to dust,
i hear a voice within,
crying out for help,
its beginning to make me sick,
and a thought of what happened,
as i kick,
and scratch the wall infront of me,
it makes me bleed.

for so many scratches and scars i see,
i wont forget the life i have infront of me,
its a mistake for anyone could no,
i do this for me not for a poxy little show,
it makes me feel so much better,
but it scars me inside,
for the hoping i will find a light and stay alive.

I put it down,
and back away,
from everything i done,
i see a line,
and i cry inside,
what have i done,
my life is nothing but a fail,
a fail of nothing to achieve,
but why?
i have everything,
everything except trust,
arguments,
blaming one another,
teenage years are so hard,
but you have to live through them.

The jumper goes back on,
and i put on a fake smile to hide my sadness,
so the questions don't come,
but they do,
everyday,
are you okay?
i die inside each time someone says them 3 words,
i want to say no,
but i cant be bovered with the questions,
so i say yes,
so i dont get prosessed,
and i just take a deep breath,
and smile.