Organised Chaos

Oh, Mummy, Mummy,
Look at the time!
And Jonathan's drunk
all the fine sherry wine.
He's in the bathroom upstairs,
being sick!

Oh, hurry, hurry,
be quick, be quick.

Oh, Daddy, Daddy,
The phone lines are dead!
And Anne's feeling ill,
so she's upstairs, in bed,
and Alison's fallen,
and John's banged his head!

Oh, help, help,
I wish I were dead.

The turkey is roasting,
BUT THE STUFFING'S NOT MADE!
Don? She's putting her hair
in a braid.
Where's the potatoes?
And where is the juice?

The fire isn't lit!
And the lamp-fixture's loose!

Ben's back with the wine now!
He's got the wrong kind!
Oh that doesn't matter,
No! Just never mind.
No, I don't want it
taken back to the shop!

Watch! Jean!
THE GLASSES....will drop!

Alistair get the mop.
No! Get the broom!
You'll just have to sweep,
right 'round the whole room.
I know that there's glass,
all over the floor!

Watch! Then, before
there is more!

Put a cloth on the table,
and then get the mats.
No! We don't need
party tooters and hats!
Yes, you'll need fish knives,
Yes! You'll need spoons.

No! Not the servers,
you big bunch of goons.

Quick! Gran'll be here
in ten seconds flat.
No, she won't want to see
Your new pet rat.
The wrapper goes
in the dustbin of course.

Madeleine! Stop it!
You sound like a horse!

Go and meet Grandpa!
And take Grandma's bag!
Yes, give them their presents,
but take off the tag!
Don't let the puppy out!
Put it away!

No! You can't play with it!
No! Not today!

Try not to drop more food
onto your lap.
Just fill the water jug,
out of the tap!
Don't pick bits off the cake!
'Cause it's not time!

Anyone wanting,
anymore wine?
Now there is trifle,
or caramel cream.
(this is like something
from my very worst dream!)
Anyone for coffee,
hot chocolate, or tea?

Don't touch the serving spoon!
Leave it to me!

You really must be going now?
Why, that's such a shame!
Thank you for having me?
I'm just glad you came!
(Thank god they're going now,
chance for a rest.

I've only sat down for
five minutes at best!)

The house seems so quiet now,
without Gran and Granddad,
Auntie and Uncle,
all the others that we had.
Now there's the washing,
the cleaning, the drying.

Please no more work!
I think I am dying!

Never again,
I vow in my mind.
As I clean up the mess,
that THEY left behind.