The Gold Coast Globster

It was on a frigid June morning that the globster made its mysterious appearance on the shores of Coogee Beach. Approximately two metres in height, but stretching out into the Tasman Sea, this hulking mass of seemingly dead flesh was discovered by a rather pathetic man named Robert Weiss.

It happened on the first of Weiss’ early morning jogs: his attempt at trimming down the post-divorce weight. Uncomfortable in crowds, this lonesome divorcee opted to rise as early as possible, and with the winter sun rising later and later each morning, he was pleased knowing that most of the beach belonged to solely him, at least for a little while. The salt-filled air moved through his awkward, curled hair as he stood at Dolphin’s Point, invigorated by the cold air rushing up his sinuses and down his throat. His goal was to cover the length of the beach until he reached the Surf Life Saving Club on the south end, before making his way back to his hotel at a steady pace. His body had not endured such exercise in twenty years but he promised to be rid of the man his ex-wife had created. Then he would meet someone who would give him what he’d expected in his first marriage. Support. Children. Love.

It was between such thoughts that Robert’s eyes caught at glimpse of the mysterious hulking shadow in the sand. Believing it to be a bed of seaweed, he hoped that somebody would pick it up while he was on the south end, lest it stink up the whole beach.

Robert stretched his legs, took pleasure in the dull pops in his knees and jogged on the spot.

Ready, he thought. First day’s always the hardest. And he took off at a modest trot; head down and eyes following an unseeable dream.

Unfortunately, Weiss barely descended the stone steps of Dolphin’s Point when the hulking, shadowy mass grabbed his attention once again. In the pale moonlight it was impossible to tell exactly what was physical and what was just shadow, but it was gigantic and as he slowed down to take it all in, he was overcome with deep curiosity. He altered his path slightly, running at an angle so that he could get closer to it without breaking his rhythm. As he jogged past, he stuck out his hand and let the tips of his fingers run across the its surface. It was cold and, in every sense of the word, dead. Thick bristles covered its hide except for a few bare patches, and it radiated a wet, decaying fishy stench. The thing didn’t move, but its presence evoked a strange emotion in Robert. Amazingly, and totally inexplicably, it was something akin to love – a love that was only for him.

What am I doing? Why am I throwing away my first morning job for this? Thoughts of his podgy, toneless body brought him back to the task at hand and he quickened his pace. His discovery, however, would not leave his mind. Thoughts of his ex-wife, his former job as a schoolteacher and the children he never had did nothing to distract him from that mental image of the hulking dead mass of … whatever it was.

Upon reaching the Surf Club he wasn’t prepared for the thrill of excitement that rushed through him with the idea that he would be turning back towards the heaping mass. What was intended to be a steady pace quickly became the opposite and he ignored the growing pain in his legs.

From a distance he noticed a white quad bike parked around where the thing was, and as Robert drew closer he noticed two lifeguards circling it, wrapping caution tape around the vicinity. Someone else had found it.

As he caught up to the two younger men, he sputtered, “What… what are you doing?”

“You’re going to have to clear off, mate,” one yelled over the crashing waves. “An expert’s coming in to check this thing out. It’s probably just dead whale tissue but we’ve got to be sure. It might be diseased or something.”

“But –” Mr Weiss sputtered again, “This is mine. I found it.”

But the roar of the morning tide coupled with the guard’s insistence that he should leave the site drowned out his voice.

*          *          *

By sunrise it was already making headlines in the morning news. Crowds were ignoring the surf to look at the amazing, yet disgusting thing that had washed up on their shore. When clear images of it finally made it onto the television screen, it latched itself onto Robert’s mind even more, becoming the only thing he saw when he closed his eyes. It was enormous, translucent-white and covered in splotches of grey. The thing had no definite shape or structure except for dozens of flipper-like appendages hanging off its side. The media had dubbed it ‘the Coogee globster’ and public opinion over it ran wild:

“Must be all the stuff we’re throwing into the ocean every day.”

“I’ve seen one of these before. In Tassie – it’s just a hunk of blubber from a dead whale. Wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of it washed up here pretty soon, too.”

“It’s just a big dead fish. Maybe when the Japanese stop hunting in our waters we won’t have to see this again.”

All stupid, simple-minded people, Robert thought. They couldn’t feel what he felt. There was more to this thing than they knew, or maybe wanted to believe. Although he was discouraged by the scene of the large crowd, Robert swore that before day’s end he would return to his discovery.

It was around noon, however, that news came of the globster’s fate that almost stopped Robert Weiss’ middle-aged heart.

“While we’re almost certain it is nothing but adipose tissue from a blue whale,” a young scientist preached, “there is evidence to suggest it might indeed be carrying disease. The local Council have decided that it will be best to remove it from our beach and have it destroyed out at sea. We have freight ships on standby to take it out and have it burnt.”

Robert could not believe what he was wearing. Were they really going to destroy it? Could a whole town be so wretchedly ignorant that they would willingly have it burnt to cinders just because they didn’t understand it? Couldn’t they at least feel what he felt, that it was something bigger and more profound than a piece of dead whale?

A foreign but powerful emotion suddenly surged through the former schoolteacher. He had never been particularly good when it came to protecting himself, but he would be damned if he wasn’t going to protect his thing. Leaving all insecurities in his apartment, Robert Weiss rushed out of the building and headed for the roar of the distant crowd. It was not easy inching through the sea of beach-dwellers, but he forced himself through until he was met by the same caution tape from that morning, finally at full sight of the wonderful, enormous blob. It looked more spectacular in real life than he ever could have imagined.

There were several law enforcers around the perimeter, lazily watching the people as they all clambered to get a better look at the mysterious thing. Robert remained vigilant, guarding his space with more rigidity than ever before and waited until there were no police looking in his direction.

Children cried around him, some because of the sight of the great globster, some because of the stench, others because they just wanted to go back in the water, mummy!

A child on the shoulders of his father kicked at the back of Robert’s head but he paid no attention. Eventually, his time came. When every eye of the law turned away he burst through the tape, his ears filling with the cries of onlookers as he raced for the mound of flesh. He met it, fell in ecstasy on its slick surface and tried pushing himself up as his hands sunk into it.

Loud cursing rose from behind him as two hands locked around his ankles.

“No!” he cried, “Let me go! It needs me! Let me protect it!”

Never in his life would he have expected his body to react with so much aggression. His foot struck the face of one of the men who had grabbed him while his fingers dug deep into the cold flesh, somehow pulling himself forward. Warmth, and what could only be described as deep, deep love flooded him despite the hide being cold, wet, and dead. Once he had pulled both ankles free and he was atop the massive, fleshy hulk. The smell, which would have repulsed anyone to the point of sickness, only drove his excitement and his love to obsession. He was right where he needed to be.

A commanding voice rang over the crowd and tide, “Step off now, mate. The thing’s diseased. You’ve got ten seconds before I fire.” An officer stood at the foot of the thing, pointing something square and black directly at Robert. It was a stun-gun, the kind Robert had seen on the news. Laughter, as well as embarrassed groans rushed forth from the crowd.

“For Chrissakes don’t buzz him, he’s just loony.”

“Get down you moron, you’re embarrassing yourself.”

“Bloke just wants his five minutes.”

None of it deterred him. Even the sight of that terrible weapon lost its effect with every second he was atop his wonderful thing.

“Eight seconds, mate. Don’t do this to yourself.”

Robert’s chest ached. His arms and legs were on fire and every breath pained him.

“Six seconds.”

He felt something twitch beneath his sneakers and he suspected a cramp was about to crawl up his legs, which were slowly receding into the cold mass.

“Four seconds.”

“Give us a little dance while you’re up there, will you?” More laughter spread across the crowd.

“Three.”

The twitching grew, but they were too strong to be muscle spasms. Robert, almost out of breath, looked down and saw the colour of the globster he was standing on change from whitish grey to an inky black. Something deep inside of it was coming… rising to the surface.

While his body continued to throb with pain, his mind was relaxed. A mysterious, but reassuring thought came to him:

Thank you. You’ve done well. Everything will be alright now.

The skin of the globster began to bubble and rise. A few members of the crowd shouted in disgust but the police paid no attention.

“Two.”

There was love. Every speck of his past life disappeared as his feet sunk deeper and deeper into the bubbling, black mound. Robert was being smothered in love, the unconditional love he had always wanted, always thought he’d deserved.

If they get you, it will hurt. But not for long. Not for long.

“One. Last chance, buddy.”

Go, he thought. Go on.

The surface of the thing split just as the blinding electrical force struck Robert’s chest. A new kind of pain exploded across his body, wrenching every muscle to the point of agony.

But it was alright. This was what men did.

A black flood poured out of the split, completely covering Robert’s body. It rolled down the heaping mass of the globster and fell first onto the officer who had fired at Robert. One of the last things Robert heard was the gargled cry of someone being smothered to death in blackness. This was followed by panicked screaming from the crowd. Through a small crack in the black matter, Robert gazed as the people dispersed, chased out of the beach by the thick black that was just rolling, rolling across the sand.

Yes, he thought. It’s safe now.

A very small dark ball the size of a pea crawled before one of Robert’s exposed eyes; his body was now almost covered in the blackness. What he saw was a tiny crab, the likes of which he had never knew existed. Two little eyestalks tipped with bright red stared into Robert’s one eye as the crab’s brethren started to fill Robert’s mouth and nostrils. In the end, a short message reached into his mind that finally let him drift away:

Love, thank you. We live.