Cry wolf

I lye on the floor next to my mother as I have done so many times before,she is covered in blood and the is no life in her veins.I am now a man but I feel no different than when I was a boy.Holding her close just hoping that her eyes will open and she will be my mom for at least one more day.
I cant help to think that one day,the day that I don't come running to her cries will be the day I regret.That day haunts me that I will show up and she will not be there for me to hold and to hope that her eyes open.On this day she will look as beautiful as she once did the most amazing and strong woman I have ever known lying in her best, makeup on and ready to start her decent in to the ground.Does she not realize the toll it has taken on me and my whole life.To be someones warrior only to be pissed on after ever rescue.The same boy you left to die by him self inside of a dark hole.For what reason to make me tougher? I don't know why I come to the aide of someone who has never done so for me.Why do I keep you in my heart,I will never know.But I hope that you will one day gather that strength I know you have on you and be your own warrior.I would love to go back to being a boy.Thanks MOM I Do love you! but I am getting so tired.