Just A Dream ch. 2

A few nights passed before he came to me again. This time, I wanted to be the one that was in control. If Timothy was right and it simply was a dream, then I should be able to control what happens. It’ll be my will working, not the dream’s.

I fell asleep and dreamt. In my dream, I was in my room radiated by the moonlight outside. I quickly got up to look out my window. The shadows were shifting. He was there. I could sense his presence near me. He stepped out of the shadows so that I could see him basking in the warm glow of the night. My heart compelled me to be near him.

The most peculiar thing was that I could see he had the same longing. He was struggling to keep away from me, but his heart bade him come. He walked to my window and put his hand on the sill. I saw his muscles tighten. There was an internal war between his mind and his body, or perhaps it was the heart. I was lost for words as I stood staring into those grey eyes.

Alas, he had concluded what he would do. He spoke with the most entrancing voice, “My lady, I ask that you come outside please.”

I found my feet rushing me to the door. Was it at my will that I went? Surely it must be, but I must say that his voice tugging at my heart was what really led my feet to the door. I hesitated for a moment as I reached to open it. I wanted this dream to go at my will. I cannot let him have so much power over me.

I slowly approached him. As I did so, his grey eyes were hypnotized by my appearance. Whenever he comes to me I am always dressed in elegant gowns. My clothing does not surprise me when it transforms into an ocean blue wave of silk. I’m not quite sure if he chooses what I wear or if I do. Either way, I have not much to complain about. The dresses are always so lovely.

Though his eyes have already said it, his voice brings out my blush when he says, “You are beautiful tonight.” His statement makes me ponder of other nights. Does he not think me beautiful every night?

He answers without my voicing the question, “Every moment of the day, you are beautiful, but when I see you these rare nights, your beauty bedazzles even the stars.”

All breath has left me as I am showered in warm radiance. My core is but butter and I know not how I stand in his presence. He makes me love him so.

I open my mouth to speak, but he gently hushes me, “I know where we can go. It is safe.” My eyes stay locked to his so that I do not notice the changing atmosphere around us. We are in the forest, but I have not to know where. A fire starts, but one that does not burn when I come near it.

He asks me to sit, and I wonder if he means for me to sit on the leafy floor. No, of course not. He wouldn’t want me to get my dress dirty or to damage a single spot on my skin. Two chairs appear. They are quite comfortable.

So many questions linger in my head, but it is so hard to ask them.

“You wish to learn about me,” he says.

“Yes,” I reply. “I have but so many questions.”

He analyzes my every expression and gesture. “You cannot ask me anything unless I willingly allow you to.”

“Then please let it be your will,” I beg.

He notices every movement I make and takes it all in with such love. “’Tis dangerous for such a beauty to exist.” He looks up at the stars and I find that I too am entranced by every glance, every gesture, everything he does.

I stand up for it is hard for me to not touch him. I need to know if he is real. Is he someone in my head, or is this something more?

He too stands up, takes one step towards me, then walks behind his chair. “I find that your will is more important to me than my own. You wish to ask me questions, but alas I would not be able to answer them. But if you like we can discuss your life. I’d love to learn more about you.”

That was the end of it and I knew it. I might never get my answers and know who he is. I obliged to his request. “It isn’t fair that we only discuss my life for I would like to hear of yours, but if there is no way to get my answers, then this will do for now. My name,” I was hesitant. Would he already know it?

“Please tell me so that I can call on you,” he gently pressed.

“My name is Elana.” Him not knowing calmed me. It was somewhat fair this way. He could learn about me and I’d find a way to learn about him.

His smile soothed me even further, “A lovely name suits you well.” Was I to know his? Thankfully, he did answer me this question not asked aloud, “My name is Ian.”

I knew I was in control of this dream more than any others when I felt myself awakening. “Ian, I don’t want to leave you. Please come to me this next night.” He nodded in compliance as the trees and moonlight faded into the bright morning light.

As I blinked open my eyes, I was startled by Helen lying next to me. “I watched you sleeping. You were very content and pleasant until the light touched your eyes and then you seemed so miserable.”

“I was awakened from a dream I did not wish to leave,” I told her with a most irritable tone.

Surprisingly, my tone did nothing to bother her. Something was different about my sister this morning. “Mother has breakfast waiting. I came to warn you before she started yelling about flies.”

I was taken aback by her nice behavior towards me, “Thank you Sister.” I got out of bed to dress, but Helen stayed where she was. She never stayed in one place for too long and I knew something was wrong.

I looked at her melancholy face, but before I uttered a word, she said, “My Robert likes to watch me when I sleep. What boy does that for you?”

Her nerve always shocked me, “Helen! Stop rubbing in the fact that you have someone to love and I don’t.” These words tasted odd in my mouth. I loved Ian, but I had still to prove that he existed.

She sat there not able to meet my stare, “I am sorry Sister. I didn’t mean to do you harm. I just wondered if a boy ever did do that for you. It is quite nice.” Something in her voice seemed strange and distant.

I came closer to her, “Helen?”

She didn’t try to conceal her tears any longer. She cried, “He doesn’t wish to marry me.” I held my older sister in my arms and let her big tears fall on my clothes.

In my arms, I rocked her as our mother used to when we were small. I shushed her sobbing and asked, “Who else knows?”

“No one. Only you. I didn’t know who else I could bear telling.” She cried a bit longer and then I took her to wash her face.

It was astonishing that she confided such precious information to me and only me. I held her hair back as she let the water run over her reddened face. Perhaps there was still some decency left in her. This compelled me to tell her of my dreams, but I soon decided not to. She needed time to think of her own problems first. We ate breakfast and went out together. I was soon to be late for school, but Helen understood and saw to it that I wasn’t. I thought of her and Robert all day. What could possess him to not want to marry her? They seemed so in love and spent every day together. I would ask my sister when I got the chance later.

When school had ended, Timothy was waiting for me outside. Some childish girls saw him standing there waiting for me and were bent on taunting me for it.

One said, “Look, the carpenter waits for his true love.”

Another, “They will be so happy together with all their many children and all their many rags.”

I held my tongue as I swiftly passed them by. The profession of a carpenter was nothing to be ashamed of, but these girls were of the higher class. Any profession other than that of a lawyer or doctor was beneath them. At times, I wished I didn’t know so better as to bite my tongue. At least then I’d be able to wip them with my bitter words.

Timothy knew my every thought. Even though he knew I was still angered by him, his expression told me to be a lady. I was obligated to comply.

“What are you doing here Timothy?” I didn’t hide any of my unlady like qualities for him.

He held in front of him what was formerly behind his back. “I brought you flowers. Your favorite kind.” He could be so sweet at times.

“Have you brought anything else?” He knew as to what I was referring to.

“Yes. My apology. I’m sorry for not believing you and shunning your ideas. I know that you came to me to confide in me and I should have been more open. I am sorry.” He held the flowers a bit higher to further persuade my girlish response.

All my anger left me as I took the flowers, “Thank you Timothy. I accept your apology. I also apologize for running away as I did. It was quite rude of me.”

“Yes it was.”

“At least we are at amends now.” I kissed him on the cheek to show him my gratitude. He did, after all, give me my favorite flowers.

“Is that crimson I see?” I asked as I saw the blush after my lips departed from his cheek. “You’ve never reddened when I kissed you before.”

“Ah yes, but we were younger then. It has been some time since my cheeks felt the warmth of your lips,” he grinned as he spoke.

“Are you suggesting that you like when I kiss you and should do it more often?” He was such a sneaky boy.

“If you like,” he said.

“Well, how about I slap you next time. You get the same crimson glow and warmth, but even more of it.”

He laughed, “This is why we are friends.” His attention was taken away from me by who he thought to be the love of his life. “Do you see her? Esmeralda is the jewel that shines in my heart.”

“Please do not speak like a fool.”

His knees were wobbly and he leaned on me, “Look at her! Such a magnificent creation. If only she would look this way.”

“You’re acting like a drunkard. She’s bound to glance this direction to see the idiot fool.” I was much pleased with my mocking. It served him right to be such a coward.

“Elana! I think she looked over here,” he said in complete amazement.

“I’m not too surprised.” A thought struck me, “Timothy, would you like me to befriend Esmeralda and introduce you two?”

He embraced me tightly, “You are simply thee greatest friend any man can have.”

The giggle that escaped me was uncontrollable, “It is funny how you think yourself a man.”

“I will ignore that remark only because I am simply too in love with you at the moment.” He took my hand and kissed it.

“You do well to entertain me. Come, let us go talk in private. I for one have gossip to disclose,” I said as I took my hand back.

His excitement was evident, “Oh, please tell. I do love a bit of gossip after a good lunch and a day of work.”

We walked on, “Timothy, I do say that sometimes you are more of a girl than I am.”

We came to our tree in the forest and he asked to know if I dreamt of that man again.

I answered, “Yes, and I discovered his name to be Ian. Isn’t it just the most perfect name?”

He replied, “Ian is a fine name, but I would say that Timothy is better. Tell me more about him.”

I told the tale of my latest dream and he was impressed. “It’s good you took some control this time. Perhaps he will come at your will tonight.”

“It is what I am hoping for. Oh! But Timothy, I haven’t told you the most important news I discovered.”

He became giddy, “Time for gossip.”

I tried to calm him, “This is a completely serious matter that is not to leave this tree. No one else is to know of this.”

“Gentleman’s honor.”

I leaned in closer to whisper, “Robert has chosen not to marry my sister.”

“What!” he exclaimed loudly.

I scowled at him for being so loud, even though there was no one around to hear us. “Do be quiet. It’s true. My sister was acting so strangely this morning. She was being nice and-“

“She was nice?”

“Yes. That’s when I figured something must have happened. She ended up crying in my arms for most of the morning.” I never liked to see my sister cry. She endured so much for being older. She took care of me, even though she was cruel at times. It wasn’t often that I witnessed her weaknesses.

“That is a great shame. I know that your sister irks you most days, but she has the most caring personality. A lovely lady such as herself does not deserve such indecencies.” This really bothered him. “I have half the mind to go up to Robert right now and… and… punch him!”

“Oh Timothy. I do appreciate your concern for my sister, but honestly do you think that dealing Robert a blow to the face will do anyone any good. Perhaps if you were more masculine it might do some good. But I could punch him and have the same effect as you.”

“This is a serious matter! Do not tease me so. Why would Robert be so inconsiderate and heartless?”

Taking on a more serious tone I answered, “I don’t know. Timothy, I don’t understand men as you do. I am but a girl trying to be a woman. What real knowledge do I have of love or of men’s hearts? My sister knows not the reason either. Robert simply told her that he did not wish to marry her.”

Timothy saw my sympathies for my sister. Though he could get angry for the ungentlemanly indecency to my lovely sister, only I could feel what she felt. It pained me to know how much she hurt for him. It made me wonder if men were worth so much sorrow. A quick digression brought me to ponder if Ian would ever hurt me so.

I came back to the realities of my sister’s pain when Timothy put his hand on my shoulder. “Do you think love is worth such sorrow?” I asked.

He looked at me in a way I had never known. It was a completely sincere expression, with the utmost honest words, “I know it is.” It seemed as then he would kiss me.

“I should get home to my sister. She’ll need me tonight.”

“I’ll walk you all the way.”

I embraced him with all the love that I had for my dear friend. “Thank you Timothy.”